


Vampire Academy: Dimitri's Point of View

by gigi256



Series: Dimitri's Story: The Vampire Academy Books from Dimitri's Point of View [1]
Category: Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-02-28 14:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 79,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2736872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigi256/pseuds/gigi256
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dimitri's training prepared him to be a Guardian. Known for his skill in the field, fate leads him to an unexpected position. He becomes the personal guard for a young Princess, and the mentor for her best friend: a strong-willed wild girl. When the rules that he has held strong to for so long are challenged, will he be able to choose between duty & destiny?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Target Aquired

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy
> 
> Cross-posted on FanFiction.net and Wattpad

I stood there watching the window. I knew our intel was sound, we finally had a solid location. We've know about it for a few weeks, but red tape and planning had held us back until this moment. Now, standing in the cool air of the Portland autumn, I waited. We were biding our time until the right moment to extract them.

Despite the stillness of it all, I felt my blood pumping, my heart beating faster than it had in months. My new life, the one I had been living for the past year, was dull. It wasn't exactly what I had trained for but orders were orders. Being back in the field made me feel alive again.

I stood in the shadows, near one of the tall trees lining the road. I had a perfect vantage point on their window and was relaying information as we planned our next move. There were others in the apartment, and the paperwork of getting Alchemists involved was a nightmare. It would be easier to draw them out than to storm in. At this time of night however, that was unlikely.

A frantic scream and some rustling in the target room focused my attention. It was faint, but still audible to me and a few members of my team. Even in the early morning darkness, I saw a shadow cross the window. Instinctively, I reached for the cold handle of the weapon at my belt. As the lead on this mission, it was my call to rush in. An attack by a greater enemy was not something to ignore, but something stopped me from taking action. Despite the girl's scream, I didn't feel like there was an immediate threat. The screaming had stopped, though I could pick up the sounds of conversation. I noted the position of a few colleagues and gestured for them to stand down. They obeyed, trusting my judgment.

A moment later, a lamp illuminated the room. A young lady with dark hair stood in next to the window in full view. From the files, I knew this had to be Rose Hathaway. She may not be our primary target, but it was a good indicator that Vasilisa Dragomir was near by. Rose was speaking to someone out of view, presumably Vasilisa. Suddenly, with the flick of her dark hair, a second figure appeared in the window. This time a pale, tall, blonde. She was facing Rose, who had her back to us. She was easy to identify.

I casually shifted my head to speak into the radio system. "Target confirmed. Wait for..."

Vasilisa bent over her companion, mouth pressed against Rose's neck. To unsuspecting eyes, it seemed like a kiss. The truth was more disturbing but no less intimate. Rose tilted her head back, no doubt in response to the flood of endorphins filling her system.

My companions and I turned away from the sight. Some were silent, others murmured in disgust. My initial reaction to the taboo morphed into something close to admiration. While it went against every custom in our society, Rose was ensuring Vasilisa's life. She was protecting her friend, even at the cost of her own strength, her own reputation. Not many of us watching her would do the same.

It took only a moment before the blonde hair pulled back. Faintly, I could see blood staining her lips. Vasilisa turned and left the room as Rose leaned against the bed for support. Suddenly, Rose stood and looked out the window. At that moment, one of the street lamps near by that had been dark suddenly flickered to life. The sudden change was enough to grab her attention, and to spot my now exposed position.

She locked eyes on me and I pulled back slowly, avoiding direct eye contact. I hoped that she thought I was simply a late partying college student who just happened to walk by. No threat. At only 24, it was a plausible theory for my presence near the college campus.

I wasn't so lucky.

She step back from the window, hastily grabbing a few items before leaving the room. This was it, they were going to run. If we lost them now, who knew when we'd find them again.

I spoke into the radio one more, "This is it team, we make our move. I want to know as soon as they exit the house."

Within a minute, I heard the crackle of another voice coming through, "Sir, they exited through the front, heading east towards Brown."

I reassembled my team, planning to surround the girls and block off their exits. I was positioned ahead of them to halt their escape, with others waiting to close them off from behind. No force should be needed.

I spotted them almost instantly. The sight was almost comical if it hadn't been so serious. Vasilisa, barefoot, seemed to be the only thing supporting Rose as they fled. Typically you would expect the exact opposite. Rose eyed my direction several times; she was making a beeline for the green Honda I was positioned behind.

When they were about ten feet from me, I stood and stepped out into the open. The girls both stopped, momentarily stunned. On cue, the other men stepped into view, blocking off all points of escape. Rose briefly glanced at them then returned her focus to me. I don't know if she pegged me for the group's leader, the largest threat (my height and stature would indicate such), or simply the only thing standing between her and her escape vehicle, but one thing was for certain, she eyed me with a fierce determination. She wasn't going down without a fight.

She was weak, out numbered, and under-trained for what she seemed ready to take on. However, she protectively pushed Vasilisa behind her. "Leave her alone," her voice was almost a growl, "don't touch her."

I calmly took a step towards them, keeping my face blank and hands visible to show her that I meant no harm. "I'm not going to-"

She sprang towards me. It was an elementary move, but one I hadn't anticipated from the weakened girl. I underestimated her. My surprise wasn't enough to keep me from countering such a clumsy maneuver. She was weaker than I anticipated, and my simple block sent her staggering. She lost her footing and began to fall. Just as quick as my initial movement, I caught her forearm, keeping her upright.

She met my eyes with a glare before I noticed the marks at her neck. Once again, I was stunned at the lengths she was willing to go to protect her friend. Not only with what I witnessed through that window, but also how she bravely charged into what she must have known would be a losing battle. She was already willing to put her life down if it meant Vasilisa had a few moments to escape, to live. I met her eyes one more. I saw the fire behind them. I admired that. She had potential to become a great Guardian. I only hoped that there was still a chance for her.

When she noticed what I had been staring at, she touched wound and her blood stained her finger tips. She brushed her hair to cover the marks before jerking away from my grip. I let her go. She would have been easy to restrain, but the fight she seemed ready to resume left me speechless. She braced for the next move when a pale hand reached out to grasp hers.

"Rose," the feminine voice was barely a whisper, "don't."

As if encouraged by some unseen force, Rose relaxed her stance. It wasn't exactly sign of defeat, in as much as a resignation. I watched her for a moment longer to be sure that she wouldn't strike again, before I focused on the one behind her. I remembered protocol and custom: bowing as a sign of respect.

"My name is Dimitri Belikov," their eyes widened, possibly in response to my Russian accent since they had no reason to recognize my name. "I've come to take you back to St. Vladimir's Academy, Princess."


	2. A New Responsibility

"Don't let them talk to each other," I warned as we stepped onto the plane. The two teenagers were taking every moment they could to to discuss their situation. "Five minutes together, and they'll come up with an escape plan."

Rose's glare burned into me and I knew I had been right. Luckily, once we were in the air their options went from limited to non-existent. Regardless, keeping them separated would lower their motivation to cause trouble. While still alert, my team and I had been up for almost 30 hours now and could use what little rest the plane offered. Our flight would last about two hours before touching down in the Montana emptiness.

I sat next to the Princess; her fear radiated off her. She was gripping a water bottle like a life line. Her body tense while her eyes darted around the plane. I did my best to silently reassure her that we meant her no harm, and when that didn't work I reached for my battered Western paperback. I was well aware that the presence of a trained guardian (especially a large, unknown male guardian) could be intimidating, however she must have grown up with Guardians around her her whole life. I couldn't understand why she would be so fearful now.

When it became clear the that Princess Vasilisa wasn't going to relax, I walked back to were Rose was sitting. She ignored me as I sat beside her, pointedly staring out the window. After a few moments, I broke the silence. "Were you really going attack all of us?"

She didn't answer.

"Doing that...protecting her like that...it was very brave." I waited for a reaction but received none. "Stupid, but still brave. Why did you even try it?" Perhaps it was less than professional of me to be praising her ridiculous stunt and questioning her motivation, but curiosity had gotten the best of me.

She glanced at me through that dark hair before brushing it aside and fearlessly meeting my eyes. I didn't expect such confidence considering the situation. My pulse jumped in surprise, but not nearly as much as when she gave me her answer. "Because I'm her guardian."

She turned back to the window, eyes flickering towards the Princess for just a moment. I continued to stare at her. She spoke with such certainty, such dedication and devotion, I could tell that she believed her words with every ounce of her being.

I had been dealing with the teenagers on campus for almost a year now. Their world was consumed with hormones, drama, dances and homework. They weren't selfish per say, but it was clear that they had yet to fully comprehend the self-sacrifice that came with their future profession. Rose...understood. More than that, she seem to accept it and rise to the challenge. I had never met someone as young as she was that shared the same dedication to the position as I did. It intrigued me. She intrigued me. I knew that she had amazing potential as a guardian. Fully trained, I'd be confident guarding with her. While she obviously lacked the self-control necessary, I wanted to make sure she graduated and joined our ranks.

However, her reply also left me speechless. Not knowing how to reply and feeling the beginning of the planes decent, I stood and returned to the front of the plane. I went over the final preparations for our landing and arrival at the Academy. We would be arriving around sunset, the beginning of the vampiric day. Our timing wasn't ideal since we were certain to have a audience, but there was no point in delaying the completion of our mission.

St. Vladimir's Academy was one of the largest dedicated to our kind – the mortal Moroi vampires and the half-human-half-Moroi Dhampirs who would ideally promise to protect them. It was certainly larger than St. Basil's, the school where I was graduated from. St. Vladimir's was patterned after older schools (like my own) boasting impressive Gothic architecture that seemed more appropriate to a church or perhaps a college than a private high school.

We walked towards the administrative building as other student started to gather around and notice our party. The Moroi students came from one dorm, the Dhampirs from another. It wasn't a large crowd. They let us pass, but not without staring at the girls who were being displayed. Part of me sympathized with them as I watched the other students whisper and point. I glanced back.

Princess Vasilisa kept her head down, avoiding eye contact with others. She was tall, with pale skin and light blond hair. Her body was thin, almost appearing fragile. Her height, body shape, and skin were typical of the Moroi vampires. Much of the human world considered such traits as "ideally beautiful" and they could easily be cast as models, actors, or dancers. While I appreciated this, I often found their features to be...almost child-like. Many Moroi women lacked feminine curves, and Moroi men never gained much muscle definition.

Rose on the other hand, well she would never be mistaken for fragile; she was powerful. Even as we walked, she met the stares of her classmates without backing down. She was a stark contrast to the Princess in so many ways. A tanned complexion, with long dark almost-black hair. The last of the sunlight highlighted some faint red tints. While shorter than the Princess, she was still about average height for a Dhampir female. She was trim, built with lean muscle covering her frame, but there were also obvious curves at her hips and chest. She appeared fierce, dangerous even. There was beauty and confidence in the way she walked.

She glanced around at our surroundings and then focused on me. I turned away from her gaze quickly.

"Hey, Comrade."

I felt a slight amusement at her choice of nickname, but continued walking without slowing my pace. I heard her fall in step next to me. "You want to talk now?" I questioned.

"Are you taking us to Kirova?" Titles and formalities didn't seem to be a strong suit with her.

" _Headmistress_  Kirova," I corrected, looking down at her.

Suddenly, I saw the Princess shoot her friend a silent, pleading look. It was as if she begged her not to cause trouble. The gesture was pointless as Rose was facing me, back turned to her friend. However, Rose instantly turned to reply, as if she could hear what Vasilisa was saying, even without a word being spoken.

_Strange_ , I thought to myself. It wasn't the first time I've noticed this silent communication between the two of them. I wondered if this was the result of a strong, long lasting friendship...or perhaps something more unique.

"Headmistress. Whatever. She's still a self-righteous old bit-" Rose's outburst suddenly stopped as we walked into the commons. The crowd outside was nothing compared to the one in here. It was breakfast so almost the entire upper student population was present. It was cruel of us to subject them to this, however it was the most efficient path to our destination. Princess Vasilisa retreated into herself more as Rose quickly regained composure and studied the other students almost as intently as they studied her and her friend.

The short walk ended quickly, and we soon stepped into Headmistress Kirova's office. She was older, Moroi, but her presence was as intimidating as any guardian warrior. Her eyes glances over my team, dismissing most of them before settling back on the two teenage delinquents. Alberta, the captain of the school's guardians and I were soon the only remaining guardians in the room. We stepped back to take our observing positions again the wall, and I nodded to the older gentleman who was seated off to the side.

"Vasilisa" he spoke. Prince Victor Dashkov appeared much older than he actually was, due to a debilitating illness. He once had the opportunity to lead the Moroi world, but it was impossible now due to his health. I felt a pang of pity for the gentleman; he seemed gentle and kind.

Rose tensed in shock as she noticed the old man, and the Princess ran to him for an embrace. "Uncle," Vasilisa murmured. It was clear that both girls were a bit taken aback by his appearance. No doubt it had been a while since they had seen him, and his health was failing quickly.

Prince Dashkov gently broke the embrace, smiling as he spoke to the Princess. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you safe, Vasilisa." He shifted his eyes to Rose, still standing a few feet away. "And you too, Rose."

Rose nodded back politely. It was the first sign of respect that I had seen from the girl. She cast her eyes down thoughtfully as Vasilisa spoke a moment more with her Uncle, though the term was more of a sign of respect among royal families rather than a indication of actual relation.

Soon, Headmistress Kirova brought things to order again. Victor resumed his seat at the edge of the room, the girls sat in the chairs opposite the Headmistress's desk, and the Headmistress herself commanded the floor at the head of the room. As always, Gaurdian Petrov and myself stood at attention towards the back. The lecture begin.

She started by scolding Princess Vasilisa. At every mention of her lack of responsibility, her reckless behavior, and the selfish way she put herself in danger, the Princess seemed to retreat a fraction more into her chair. It was obvious that she was ashamed for putting herself, the last of the Royal Dragomir blood, on the line.

Rose, however, seemed bored. She started zoning and staring out the window. If I didn't know better, I would think the was planning on making a break for it.

"You, Miss Hathaway," Rose resumed full attention as Headmistress Kirova spoke to her with significantly more venom than before. It was obvious that these two had a less than friendly relationship. "You broke the most sacred promise among our kind: the promise of a guardian to protect a Moroi. It is a great trust. A trust that you violated by selfishly taking the Princess away from here. The Strigoi would love to finish of the Dragomirs; you nearly enabled them to do it."

Internally, I winced. The Strigoi, the common enemy of our people, were a force to be reckoned with. They were the vampires of children's nightmares. Undead, immortal, powerful yet soul-less. They killed without a second thought. Their numbers have been rising and they became more bold as time progressed. They were willing to kill anyone: human, Dhampire, or Moroi. They particularly loved targeting their mortal vampire counterpart. Even more so if it was a Moroi from a royal line.

My mind flashed back to the night I found my previous charge, Ivan Zeklos, face down in a pool of blood from a Strigoi attack. My partner, Guardian Radu, lay awkwardly near him. His neck was broken and his eyes stared at me, unblinking. I had only taken a few hours leave to handle an insignificant personal matter, but my brief absence cost both men their lives. My selfishness had killed my friends. It was 18 months ago, but it still felt like yesterday.

The Princess's voice broke my memory. "Rose didn't kidnap me." Her voice was urgent, yet remarkably steady. "I wanted to go. Don't blame her."

Headmistress Kirova paced a few steps, clicking her tongue in disbelief and exasperation. "Miss Dragomir, you could have been the one who orchestrated the entire plan for all I know, but it was still her responsibility to make sure you didn't carry it out." She placed her hands on the desk again, almost challenging Rose to make a stand. "If she'd done her duty, she would have kept you safe."

Rose jumped up from her chair and came face to face with the Headmistress. Alberta and I shifted our stance, ready to pull the wild girl away if she intended to get physical. "I did do my duty!" it looked like it would remain a verbal contest for the time being, even if it was now a shouting match. "I did keep her safe! I kept her safe when none of  _you_..." gesturing around the room, specifically at us guardians, "...could do it. I took her way to protect her. I did what I had to do." Her glower returned to the Headmistress. "You certainly weren't going to."

Headmistress Kirova met her gaze without blinking. The momentary shouting match became a staring contest. Slowly, quietly, she spoke. "Miss Hathaway, forgive me if I fail to see the logic of how taking her out of a heavily guarded, magically secured environment is protecting her." She spat the last few words as if they were poison. "Unless there's something you aren't telling us?"

Rose bit her lip then stepped back as a sign of defeat. I barely knew her, but even I could see this was out of character for girl. She was hiding something.

Headmistress Kirova started again, this time with a new found confidence of victory, continuing her pacing by the window. "I see. Well, then. By my estimation, the only reason you have left – aside from the novelty of it, no doubt – was to avoid the consequence of that horrible, destructive stunt you pulled just before your disappearance."

"No, that's not -" her desperate defense was cut off.

"And that only make my decision that much easier. As a Moroi, the Princess must continue on here at the Academy for her own safety," She stopped and faced Rose directly. A small, barely noticeable smile crossed her face, "but we have no such obligations to you. You will be sent away as soon as possible."

The room went quiet as all our breathing and hearts stopped, even that of mine and Alberta's. Rose however, seemed frozen in time. "I...what?" The power that had surround her since the moment I laid eyes on her seemed to instantly flee. For once, she seemed frail and child-like.

Suddenly, the Princess rose from her chair. The courage that had so quickly left Rose seemed to fill Vasilisa. "You can't do that! She's my guardian!"

"She is no such thing," the Headmistress countered, "particularly since she isn't a guardian at all. She's still a novice."

"But my parents-"

"I know what your parents wanted, God rest their souls, but things have changed. Miss Hathaway is expendable," several of us flinched at the word. "She doesn't deserve to be a guardian, and she will leave."

Rose stared at the judge giving her her fate. She seemed lost, but as she spoke that confusion morphed into anger once more. "Where are you going to send me? To my mom in Nepal? Did she even know I was gone? Or maybe you'll send me to my  _father_." The last word was like ice. Most Dhampirs didn't know their paternal line, and those who did often didn't have a good relationship. When Rose spoke again, her voice was unrecognizable. "Or maybe you're going to try to send me off to be a blood whore." I heard a quick intake of breath from both Alberta and the Princess, loud in the otherwise silent room. "Try that, and we'll be gone by the end of the day."

"Miss Hathaway, you are out of line," The Headmistress hissed.

Frankly, I thought they were both out of line. It wasn't my place to say such a thing, but at least Rose had the excuse of fear and youth on her side. The Headmistress was obviously looking for any reason to throw the girl out, and this made for a very good opportunity. As great of a reason as it was for her to leave, I knew I needed to find another one – a better one – to help her stay. Rose, while wild and hot-tempered, had the potential to be a great guardian. We were in short supply, and forcing out someone with talent wasn't an wise option. But she had more than talent, I realized...

"They have a bond." My voice broke the tension in the air. I remained where I was, but carefully composed myself as all eyes turned to me. I focused on Rose, hoping – no willing – it to be true, "Rose knows what Vasilisa is feeling. Don't you?"

Headmistress Kirova was caught off guard, and while she desperately looked between me and the two girls, I felt a inkling of joy at my small victory. "No..." she started, still unsure yet awestruck at the possibility, "that's impossible. That hasn't happened in centuries."

"It's obvious," I replied. I sounded more confident than I actually was, but neither Rose nor the Princess protested the charge so I continued. "I suspected as soon as I started watching them." Rose turned her gaze from me. Her secret was exposed. I was correct.

"That is a gift," Prince Victor Dashkov murmured in amazement. "A rare and wonderful thing."

"The best guardians always had the bond in the stories." My voice was calm and stable, but inside I was begging her to see this girl's potential. Instead, the Headmistress shook away the possibility of something great and continued in narrow minded outrage.

"Stories that are centuries old!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "Surely you aren't suggesting we let her stay at the Academy after everything she's done?" Her voice challenged me.

Calmly, I shrugged trying to diffuse her anger. "She might be wild and disrespectful, but if she has potential-"

A head full of brown hair whipped around at me. "Wild and disrespectful?" Great, I disarmed one bomb only to ignite another. "Who the hell are you anyway? Outsourced help?"

"Guardian Belikov is the Princess's guardian now," Kirova stated, apparently happy to have Rose's bark directed at someone else for a change. "Her  _sanctioned_ guardian."

"You got cheap foreign labor to protect Lissa?" The comment was meant to sting, but ended up seeming childish to anyone who knew my reputation.

Headmistress Kirova was reaching the end of her annoyance tolerance. "You see? Completely undisciplined! All the psychic bonds and  _very_  raw potential in the world can't make up for that. A guardian without discipline is worse than no guardian."

I may have agreed with her on that point, but it was still no excuse to throw her out, especially since there was a much more beneficial solution. "So teach her discipline. Classes just started. Put her back in a get her training again."

"Impossible. She'll be hopelessly behind her peers." Again, this was true but not something that couldn't be overcome.

"No, I wont!" We ignored Rose. Her fate was in my hands and it was better for her to let me handle this. Luckily, she recognized that quickly. I continued to argue against the Headmistress's weak points until she unexpected trapped me against a metaphorical wall.

"Who's going to put in the extra time. You?"

"Well, That's not what I-" I hesitated.

The satisfaction in Kirova's face was apparent and sick. "Yes. That's what I thought."

This was it. I had a decision to make. I could take on that responsibility or I could abandon her to face the world without support. The choice was hardly a decision at all. I was trained to protect Moroi, but it wasn't in my nature to allow something horrid to happen to anyone. I looked at Vasilisa. I was never meant to be a teacher. My role at the Academy was more like I was biding time until I became her official protector in the field. While mentoring Rose wouldn't be a hindrance to my career, it wasn't meant to be a part of it either. Or was it?

My eyes shifted to Rose. I saw the last bit of hope in their depths. I knew that Vasilisa would eventually have another guard in addition to me. Rose would be ideal if she was trained properly. As her mentor, I could be sure that happened. But would this wild girl be worth it or would she be the death of me? I pondered only a moment longer before I saw flashes of my sisters across my eyes. I would do anything to protect them. I would do anything to protect her.

"Yes." I spoke with finality. "I can mentor Rose. I'll give her extra sessions along with her normal ones."

"And then what?" the Headmistress's voice tinge with anger at a losing battle. "she goes unpunished?"

"Find some other way to punish her. Guardian numbers have gone down too much to risk another. A girl, in particular." Again, I was reminded of my family: my mother, my sisters. The room became tense as Headmistress Kirova attempted one more argument.

Her efforts were wasted when a gentle but firm voice spoke from the edge of the room. "I am inclined to agree with Guardian Belikov. Sending Rose away would be a shame, a waste of talent." I gave the Prince a nod of gratitude for his support.

Headmistress Kirova glanced across us all, still apparently searching for a way to rid her school of Rose. She met Vasilisa's for only a moment, but the young girl made the final plea. "Please, Ms. Kirova. Let Rose Stay." At her words, the Headmistress's shoulders relaxed and her eyes lost the focus of her fight. She accepted her retreat.

"If Miss Hathaway stays, here's how it will be." She eyed Rose, "your continued enrollment at St Vladimir's is strictly probationary. Step out of line  _once_ , and you're gone. You will attend all classes and required trainings for novices your age. You will also train with Guardian Belikov in every spare moment you have...before  _and_  after classes. Other than that, you are banned from all social activities, except meals, and will stay in your dorm. Fail to comply with any of this, and you will be sent...away."

Rose laughed, obviously annoyed at missing her chance at a social life. "Banned from all social activities? Are you trying to keep us apart? Afraid we'll run away again?" I worried that this may all be over before it began.

"I'm taking precautions. As I'm sure you recall, you were never properly punished for destroying school property. You have a lot to make up for. You are being offered a generous deal. I suggest you don't let your attitude endanger it."

Rose opened her mouth once more, glancing around for some other support, but her eyes met mine. I was standing at the ready, face void of emotion, but I hoped she could see what I was trying to silently tell her. I begged her to stop resisting and to accept the offer gracefully. I know my thoughts were mirrored in the emotion Vasilisa was trying to convey to her through their bond. Rose lowered her eyes for a moment before glancing back at the Headmistress.

"Fine. I accept."


	3. Back to Class

We escorted the girls to the guidance councilors office where they picked up their schedules, and then I watched as another pair of guardians took Vasilisa to her first class. Guardian Petrov and I walked towards the guardian's gym for the Advanced Combat Techniques class while a slightly moping Rose followed close behind. We were silent, as not to encourage her behavior.

As soon as we entered the gym, all eyes fell on Rose. She was infamous for her record at the school, and her return was almost as sudden and mysterious as her disappearance. Some of the novices scowled and gawked at her, but most met her eye with a amiable (if slightly stunned) smile of recognition. Rose strode up to one of the boys, a red head named Mason Ashford, and gave him a small punch on the shoulder. It was far from gentle, but was more friendly than violent.

"Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time." Well, that was an unusual greeting. I guess her discipline issues aren't the only thing she's infamous for. The boy feigned pain, stumbling and wincing over dramatically. The rest of the class resumed with whatever they were doing before our arrival.

"This  _is_  my time, Hathaway. I'm leading today's session."

"Oh yeah? Huh. Well, I guess it is a good time to think about me naked then."

I eyed Guardian Petrov questionably, but she only answered with a shrug and a what-can-you-do smile.

"It's  _always_  a good time to think think about you naked," another young novice boy commented, joining in on the banter.

I took that as my cue to dismiss myself. I shook my head muttering under my breath in Russian.  _What have I gotten myself into?_

I started out the door, making my way to the novice dorms. Guardians had their own small apartments in a separate wing of the same building. I knew I didn't have time to rest before my next scheduled shift on campus, but I did have a few moments to shower and change. Hopefully that would be enough to invigorate me for the rest of the day.

Before I stepped out of the gym however, I heard my name.

"Belikov." I turned to see Guardian Petrov a couple of yards back. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

As Captain of the School Guard, I didn't have the option of saying no even if I wanted to. I quickly glanced at the clock on the wall and hoped it wouldn't take too much time, before closing the gap between us.

"I wanted to thank you for standing up for Rose and taking her on as your student." Alberta was over twice my age, but she could still command attention with ease. I was surprised to see her eyes soften at the name of the delinquent girl. It was obvious that she had some sort of soft spot for Rose. "She's hard headed and has one of the worst tempers I've seen, but she is also extremely talented and dedicated to what she believes in. With the right mentorship, she could be better than us all one day. I tried to take her under my wing before the girls ran two years ago, but I never could quite get through to her. I sincerely hope that your experience is different."

I was glad to see that there was someone else who recognized the potential, but I began to doubt my ability to train her. If Alberta – who has known her almost her entire life – couldn't get through to her, how would she respond to someone she's just met? On top of that, I was the one who had taken her back to the prison she so desperately escaped a few years back? Either way, I knew my responsibility and would do my best to tame the wild girl.

"Thank you Guardian Petrov. I will do my best and keep you updated on her progress."

"Dimitri," she smiled, "please call me Alberta. Now go get whatever rest you can, this day promises to be a challenge for you." She turned and walked away, leaving me to do the same. I stepped outside and made the quick walk across the quad.

Alberta had encouraged me several times to be more casual with her, as have other guardians. While we address each other by title in front of students and in more formal settings, guardians generally referred to each other by simply their first or last name. After my own graduation, I had fallen into the same practice and made many friends with those around me. After Ivan's murder however, I chose to be less casual. Something as simple as being casual and letting your guard down could lead to a error. I had learned that first hand, and I wasn't planning on making the same mistake twice. My skills and reputation helped me to make plenty of contacts and connections in the Guardian network, but few friends. While I did still have some friends from school and my career prior to Ivan's death, I had been less sociable for months. I was now even distant from my family, only calling every few months to check in and update them on my location and assignment. I couldn't think of anyone I would consider close now. Occasionally I felt lonely, but I gladly traded the alternative for a sharper focus on my responsibility.

After only a few moments, I reached my dorm. I knew it was only slightly larger than those of the students, but I was fine with that. Some of the tenured and more permanent employees lived in full apartments not to far from the heart of campus. There were even some town houses available for those moroi who live here with their families. It was rare for dhampirs to marry, even rarer still for a dhampir and moroi to marry and start a family, so all the occupied townhouses belonged to moroi.

As for me, my room was more than enough. It was sparse beyond the necessities. A bed, a table and a few chairs, a small book case. The biggest difference between my place that those that the students lived in was the small kitchenette, and that was hardly used for more than making coffee. The only decoration was my growing collection of books. They were the only escape I allowed myself, and even those were brief.

I striped myself of my clothing, hanging my jacket on a hook next to the door and tossing my clothing in the basket in the corner. I respectfully laid my silver stake on the counter before stepping into the heat of the shower. The muscles in my shoulders and back were sore, less from action and more from the inaction of standing at attention. It was often harder to stand still than it was to attack. The heat penetrated the stress and I felt the stiffness relax. After only a few minutes, I stepped out and got ready for my next shift.

Before leaving, I tied my hair back at the nape of my neck. Brushing my shoulders when left down, it was longer than most male (and even some female) guardians. I knew I should probably cut it, but it hid the reminders of my profession. In the reflection of the mirror and glass shower door, I could see a long S-shaped promise mark on my neck with what looked like three "X's" on either side. The six cross shaped  _molnija marks_ were jagged, somewhat like a lightning bolt. I heard a guardian joke that it was supposed to represent how fast we strike our enemies: as fast as lightning.

Instead, I saw six faces. One for each Strigoi that I killed. My six closest brushes with death. The six times I had been directly responsible for taking a life, even if it was a soul-less one. I also saw the two other faces, the lives of my friends that were lost because of my negligence.

I returned my stake to it's holster and threw on my jacket, ready for my next assignment.


	4. Alto's Lesson

I was already standing at the back of the Bodyguard Theory class when Rose entered, flanked by Mason and the other young man from the gym, Eddie Castile. I could already tell by the way that she walked that she was sore from the hour of beating she had just taken from her classmates. As unfortunate as that was, I was grateful that her friends knew well enough not to go easy on her.

The class instructor was Guardian Stan Alto. He had handful or so years on me, but I didn't always regard him as I would many of my superiors. He seemed to take great pleasure humiliating his students, and even the occasional guardian. From the moment she stepped into the room, Guardian Alto's eyes locked on to her as his next target.

"What's this?" Stan's eyes widened in mock surprise, "no one told me we had a guest speaker here today! Rose Hathaway. What a privilege! How very  _generous_  of you to take the time out of your busy schedule and share you knowledge with us."

I could see the color rise in her cheeks as Rose tried to ignore him. With her earlier outburst, I was surprised that she remained so calm at the moment. However, this only encouraged her tormentor.

"Well, come on, come on. Don't sit there! Come up to the front so you can help me lecture the class."

"You don't really mean-"

"I mean exactly what I say, Hathaway. Go to the front of the class."

Rose stepped forward, piecing together the shattered bits of confidence along the way. As I glanced across the class, I caught sight of the other guardians monitoring the room. Their faces were as stoic as mine, but their posture shifted slightly. Uncomfortable. I could tell that they were just as embarrassed  _for_  Rose as they were  _by_ the actions of their colleague. This was a lesson to be taught for certain, however the manner in he choose to go about it was unnecessary.

"So, Hathaway. Enlighten us about your protective techniques."

"My...techniques?" She braced herself against what she knew must be coming.

"Of course. Because presumably you must have had some sort of plan the rest of us couldn't understand when you took an underage Moroi royal out of the Academy and exposed her to constant Strigoi threats." It was as if we were back at the Headmistress's office. Except what he lacked in actual power, he made up for in witnesses to ridicule her in front of.

"We never ran into any Strigoi."

"Obviously." The spite was thick in his voice. "I already figured that out, seeing as how you are still alive." Rose winced, but remained silent. Without any defense to throw back at her, he continued. "So what'd you do? How'd you make sure she stayed safe? Did you avoid going out at night?"

"Sometimes."

" _Sometimes_ ," his mocking was reduced to childish imitations of her. "Well then, I suppose you slept during the day and stayed on guard during the night."

"Er...no."

"No? But that is one of the first things mentioned in the chapter on solo guarding. Oh wait, you wouldn't know that because  _you weren't here._ " I was tempted to mention that the tactic, while basic, was rarely used out in the field as he described. However, any interruption from me would only make matters worse.

Rose tried to remain composed, "I watched the area whenever we went out." It was a weak defense.

"Oh? Well that's something. Did you use Carnegie's Quadrant Surveillance Method or the Rotational Survey?"

She remained silent, but it was apparent that she was oblivious to what those techniques were. It looked like I would have to go over quite a bit of the theory basics in addition to combat.

"Ah. I'm guessing you used the Hathaway Glance-Around-When-You-Remember-To Method."

"No!" She finally broke and Guardian Alto seemed pleased. "That's not true. I watched her. She's still alive, isn't she?!"

He was leaned over her until their faces were barely more than an inch apart. "Because you got  _lucky._ "

"Strigoi aren't lurking around every corner out there, it's not like what we've been taught." She was addressing here peers before returning to him. "It's safer than you guys make it sound."

"Safer?  _Safer_? We are at war with the Strigoi," his lecture became an exaggerated rant for a moment before he returned to his focus. "One of them could walk right up to you and snap your pretty little neck before you even notice him – and he'd barely break a sweat doing it." Some of the other students jumped at the mental image. I saw Mason Ashford unconsciously bring his hand to his throat as if to sooth the imagined pain. "You might have more speed and strength than a Moroi or human, but you are nothing, nothing, compared to a Strigoi." As harsh as it was, he was right and the point needed to be made. "They are deadly, and they are powerful. And do you know what makes them more powerful?"

Rose's eyes shimmered on the brink of tears before blinking them away. She looked at me, silently begging for me to rescue her from this humiliation. But she needed to understand this, I couldn't shield her from this truth.

"Moroi blood." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

"What was that?" Stan's voice boomed, twisting the knife in her wound. "I didn't catch it."

"Moroi blood!" This time she spoke much louder, "Moroi blood makes them stronger."

He nodded, satisfied, before circling around her like a vulture waiting for his kill. "Yes. It does. It makes them stronger and harder to destroy. They'll kill and drink from a human or dhampir, but they want Moroi blood more than anything else. They seek it. They've turned to the dark side to gain immortality, and they want to do whatever they can to keep that immortality. Desperate Strigoi have attacked Moroi in public. Groups of Strigoi have raided academies exactly like this one. There are Strigoi who have lived for thousands of years and fed off generations of Moroi. They're almost impossible to kill. And that is why the Moroi numbers are dropping. They aren't strong enough – even with the guardians – to protect themselves. Some Moroi don't even see the point of running anymore and are simply turning Strigoi by choice. And as the Moroi disappear..." he stopped, staring down at her and waited for Rose to finish his sentence.

"...so do the dhampirs." Her voice was weak, as if he sucked the will and power from her. Such were his methods, though he wasn't done quite yet.

"Well," he slithered away from her like a snake, "it looks like you learned something after all. Now we'll have to see if you can learn enough to pass this class and qualify for your field experience next semester."

With that final death blow, Rose returned to her seat. Her face showed signs of pain and regret after the lecture of her recent actions, but there was also an underlying sense of worry. I knew she was mulling over Gaurdian Alto's final words. She was second guessing if she really could catch up to the rest of her class in time to pass and qualify for field experience. Perhaps if she could graduate at all. I continued to glance around the room, watching from my guardian position, but my eyes fell on her time and time again. My thoughts mirrored hers. It was a long and difficult road ahead for her, for us both, but if the motivated and determined young woman I met less than 24 hours ago was still hidden somewhere behind that self-doubt, then I knew she could make it. It was my job to make her realize that and push her to her full potential.

Two classes later, I saw her heading to the commons for lunch. Within moments, my long strides brought me right next to her. She glanced at me quickly before returning her gaze to the floor. Was she embarrassed? Annoyed?

"I suppose you saw what happened in Stan's class?" Apparently she was both.

"Yes."

"And you don't think that was unfair?"

I bit my tongue for a moment. Yes it was immature, and yes it was unfair, but in the end, his point was valid. I needed her to look pass the humiliation and focus on the deeper lesson. "Was he right? Do you think you were prepared to protect Vasilisa?"

"I kept her alive." The tone in her voice wasn't argumentative. She knew that wasn't the point I was trying to make.

"How did you do fighting against your classmates today?" It was a rhetorical question. I had seen her fight this morning and here skin was marked with bruises starting to form where was too slow to block an opponent. "If you can't fight  _them_ -"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She snapped at me, but the anger was directed towards herself.

I slowed my pace slightly to better match her own. I could hear her beginning to get winded trying to keep up with me. She was out of practice, tired, and in pain. I could show her a small moment of sympathy. "You're strong and fast by nature. You just need to keep yourself trained. Didn't you play any sports while you were gone?"

"Sure," she shrugged, "now and then." Even that clearly an exaggeration.

"You didn't join any teams?"

"Too much work. If I'd wanted to practice that much, I'd have stayed here."

My patience was already wearing thin with her, again. I'm sure even I couldn't have kept the annoyance off my face. "You'll never be able to really protect the princess if you don't hone you skills. You'll always be lacking."

"I'll be able to protect her," her fierce determination was rising again. Maybe I had found a way to break through with her. She cared less for herself than she did for the princess, and she would do almost anything to be sure that Vasilisa was safe in her care.

"You have no guarantees of being assigned to her, you know – for your field experience or after you graduate." I spoke plainly, testing my theory. "No one wants to waste the bond – but no one's going to give her to an inadequate guardian either. If you want to be with her, then you need to work for it. You have your lessons. You have me. Use us or don't. You're an ideal choice to guard Vasilisa when you both graduate – if you can prove you're worthy." The look in her eye said that my works had hit their mark, "I hope you will."

She stared at me a moment longer, letting what I said sink in. As she did, I could see the spark light in her eyes. She was going to work for this chance. I just needed to keep her focused in the right direction.

"Lissa," she finally spoke. "Call her Lissa."

For a moment, I was confused as to why she would focus on such an unusual thing after all I had told her. Then it hit me: the girl who valued Vasilisa's – Lissa's – life above her own was trusting me with her friend's care. In extension, Rose was also trusting me with her own care. I had broken through her defensive wall. Without anything further, I turned and walked away to plan that afternoon's lesson.

 


	5. First Training

I looked up at the clock again. She was ten minutes late. I really hoped that this wasn't going to become a habit of hers.

After another five minutes, I knew I should probably go and find her if we wanted to get any work done this afternoon. I relaxed out of the floor stretch I had been doing, rocked onto my shoulders and upper back with my hands beside my head, then used my arms to spring my body forward and upright onto my feet.

I walked out of the gym, leaving my bag on the bench near the door. Luckily, Rose wasn't far. She was stopped just outside the building, in the central quad, and was apparently in deep conversation with Princess Vasilisa. It only took a few steps to reach them, and I heard the tail end of their discussion.

"...no arguments." Rose's voice was determined, but I could still hear some hesitant fear underneath that assurance. Vasilisa didn't bother to hide her uncertainty as she nodded in reply.

"Rose?" I couldn't tell if I was questioning her late absence, or what she had just been talking about. Their sudden change in posture indicated that I wouldn't be able to wrangle the conversation topic from them, so I decided to focus on her tardiness instead. "You're late for practice." Both young women visibly relaxed as I addressed the Princess with a nod, both recognizing her and dismissing her. Vasilisa gave me a quick smile before taking off across the lawn and towards the school chapel. Perhaps some might think it was an odd choice for the girl to find refuge, but I wasn't exactly one to judge.

I turned back towards the gym, hearing Rose's footsteps fall behind mine. She wasn't stomping, but her movements were far from quiet and much louder than my own. I noted that we should probably work on a few stealth exercises in the future. My lesson list was growing faster than I could keep up and once again I wondered if there would be any way to help her reach graduation in a few months. Despite my concerns, I new I needed to try. For Rose, for Vasilisa, and honestly...for myself. The monotony of Academy life was tearing at me. I was never one for taking the easy way out, preferring to take on challenges. But here, there was rarely something to challenge me. While mentoring Rose wasn't my preferred test of skill, there was not doubt in my mind that she would push me to my limit as much as I would push her own limits.

Suddenly, I noticed the silence. Either she had become much lighter on her feet, or Rose has stopped following me. For half a second, I wonder if he had chosen to run off again. I cursed myself for getting lost in thought before I turned to see which direction she went.

Instead, she was only a few feet behind me, standing statue-like with a look of shock and worry on her face. Physically she was present, but her eyes were focused on the void between us. It was as if she were watching a scene play out before her, but there was nothing to see. She didn't even blink.

I tried to get her attention, "Rose?" I took a few steps toward her, calling her name again. She gave no indication of even hearing me or seeing me. My curiosity quickly turned to concern as I wondered if she was suffering from some strange stroke, or a concussion, or some other ailment. I knew that her peers had landed a few good hits today, more than one was to the head.

I now stood directly in front of her, leaning down so our faces were only a short distance away. She still didn't seem to see me. She was looking right through me. I shook her shoulders calling her name over and over, hearing my voice get more desperate each time.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes, she blinked. Her eyes refocused and she jumped a little when she recognized how close I was standing.

"Are you alright?" I took a step back, trying to sound calm and even. I was still a bit thrown by what I had just witnessed. My heart was returning to it's normal pace, but my thoughts were still racing.

She was looking around, recognizing her surroundings but looked almost as confused as I was about the situation. "I...yeah. I was...I was with Lissa..." She brought her hand to her forehead, gently rubbing her temple before meeting my eyes again. "I was in her head."

 _What the...?_  "Her...head?" I wanted some sort of clarification, but I couldn't think of any explanation that would help me make sense of the situation.

"Yeah." She took a deep breath as if she was finally shaking off the experience. "It's part of the bond."

I guess that was the best explanation I was going to get right now. I didn't understand it, but I knew that I would need to learn some of the finer details of what their bond entailed. Already, I was seeing some of the issues of being...in Vasilisa's head...during a combat situation. The bond was something so outside of my realm of understanding, I didn't know where to begin when it came to helping Rose learn to control and utilize her extra ability. I wondered what triggered the event? Did Rose enter on her own or did Vasilisa call her? Was it intentional or something that happened spontaneously during times of stress? Was Vasilisa in danger?

The thought of my charge in duress snapped me back to reality. "Is she alright?"

"Yeah, she's..." Rose hesitated and looked for the right word. Her brows furrowed in concentration and she bit at the corner of her lip. There was some confusion in her expression, but over all it was a look of concern. "She's not in danger." While she didn't seem fully convinced by her own words, she did seem to settle a bit at the statement.

While it wasn't the most comforting argument, I trusted her judgment on the matter knowing that she would never willingly allow something to happen to Vasilisa. I shifted my concern back to her. "Can you keep going?" I knew today had been rough on her, physically and emotionally. Still, I was a bit taken aback by my own anxiety when it came to Rose. I wasn't typically one to worry about others. I wasn't exactly harsh or uncaring, but I knew my "professional distance" in the well-being of others was a type of coping mechanism for me. I was required to worry about the physical safety of my charge, but I had no interest in being a psychologist, therapist, or even friend to them...or anyone else for that matter.

With Rose however, I has some unconscious desire to protect her, to understand her. I tried to brush it off as simply being her mentor. I cared about her as my student. While something deep inside me suggested that this wasn't the full truth of the matter, I couldn't fathom any other reason for my motives.

Rose was still staring at me and I could see...something...flash in her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Her features seemed to soften a bit as she looked at me. It seemed like she was actually looking through me...no...within me. I felt my pulse shift under her gaze. But I didn't want to focus on (or even acknowledge) what that could mean. Instead, I turned away and finished the walk to the gym, listening to her footsteps behind me.

* * *

We were now 30 minutes into our scheduled practice time when Rose finally walked out of the dressing room in a pair of track pants and tank top. I could see the caution in her movements; her muscles were sore and resisting any further abuse.

"Why don't we just take things easy today...you know, like a nap." Her muscles might be tired, but her wit seemed to be everlasting. I laughed casually as I headed towards the running track.

"Why is that so funny?" There was no amusement in her voice this time.

"Oh, you were serious." I actually felt bad for upsetting her.

"Of course I was! Look, I've technically been awake for two days. Why do we have to start this training now. Let me go to bed." Her voice was gradually slipping from angry to a pleading whine as she looked up at the clock. "It's just one hour."

Despite my earlier concern, I wasn't one to tolerate whining. Plus, didn't she realize that I had been up as long as she had, perhaps even longer? True, I was a full fledged Guardian, but hopefully she would be one soon as well. Fatigue, exhaustion, those just came with the territory. She needed to understand and accept that now. I crossed my arms and stared her down. "How do you feel right now? After the training you've done so far?"

" I hurt like hell." Her tone was flat, as if it should be obvious. It was.

"You'll feel worse tomorrow." I matched her tone, since that was just as obvious.

"So?" I knew she understood what I was saying but still was trying to win the battle. I felt the growing ache in my back and feet, and found my resolve wavering slightly. No, neither of us had time to slack off with getting her back on track.

"So, better to jump in now while you still feel...not as bad."

"What kind of logic is that?" I saw her waving the proverbial white flag of surrender, but I knew she couldn't stand down without one final verbal blow. Irregardless, she followed me into the weight room. I wasn't going let her off completely, nor was I going to push her as hard as I initially planned today with laps and cardio, but I could offer a truce of some basic strength work for the day. I showed her what weights and reps I wanted her to do, and then retreated to the corner to resume the novel I had been reading on the plane.

I felt a bit hypocritical not joining in on the weights with her, however I was also exhausted and about ready to just call it a day. Besides, I wasn't the one who desperately needed to catch up to my peers. I still had a hard time concentrating on my story. I kept glancing towards Rose as she focused in and pushed herself in the training. No more whining or complaining. I had to remind myself that she was still a teenager, entitled to some childish outbursts, but when push came to shove she still seemed much more dedicated and mature than many of the other students here. I found myself admiring those traits again and felt a smile play on my lips as I watched her. Her controlled and rhythmic breathing was a soothing background to the otherwise silent room.

* * *

After 40 minutes or so, I could see her movements getting weaker and less controlled with each rep. She continued to push herself without complaining but I knew she had reached her limit for the day. I called her over to do some cool-down exercises on the mat, and joined in hoping to relieve some of my own stiffness.

"How'd you end up as Lissa's guardian? You weren't here a few years ago. Were you even trained at this school?"

Her question wasn't inherently rude, but it was still personal enough to cause me a bit of uneasiness as I recalled the events that led to my position here. I decided to focus on my training at 's instead. "No. I attended the one in Siberia."

"Whoa." Her eyes widened for a moment as she registered my answer. "That's got to be the only place worse than Montana."

I smiled at the memories of my Summers back home, filled with vivid greens and blues of the valleys. The burst of brightly colored wildflowers. Acres of forests filled with wildlife. The sheer amount of lakes and rivers. The mountains that seemed to rise up endlessly around us. Even the peaceful stillness of Winter, where the entire world was covered in a thin sparkling sheet of ice and snow. Montana might share some of the same qualities as my homeland, but nothing would compare to the beauty of where I was raised. I knew Rose was picturing the harsh, cold, barren wasteland most people think of when they think if Siberia, but nothing could be further from the truth.

"After I graduated, I was guardian for a Zeklos Lord." Images of him facedown in that pool of blood flashed through my memory disrupting my peaceful childhood memories, and I heard my voice darken. "He was killed recently."  _Why did I tell her that?_

I met Rose's eyes expecting shock, pity, or even accusation. Instead she showed sympathy and...worry? Perhaps thinking of Lissa. Or was she worried about me? I shook off the idea, recovering my composure and continuing with my explanation. "They sent me here because they needed extras on campus. When the Princess turned up, they assigned me to her, since I'd already be around. Not that it matters until she leaves campus."

She was quiet for a moment and I felt the tension mounting between us. Finally, she broke the silence, "Did this lord die on your watch?" I tried to find accusation in the question, but her tone was so different from the typical sarcastic manner that Rose was known for. All I could hear was concern. Even more surprising was that it wasn't concern that I wasn't able to protect Lissa, my new charge and her best friend. She was honestly concerned about me; about how I was coping with the loss of my charge. I didn't know what to make of that.

"No. He was with his other guardian. I was away."  _Why do I keep telling her these things?_ I continued to stare at her while she studied me. I had never felt the desire to talk to anyone about Ivan and his death, but for some reason I felt comfortable sharing with her. Perhaps it was because I knew she cared for Lissa as much as I had cared for Ivan, or perhaps I wanted to warn her about making the same mistakes I had made. No...I knew that wasn't true. For some reason Rose put me at ease and made me feel safe opening up about things I wouldn't tell anyone else, without judgement. How did she seem to understand me?

"Hey," she jolted me out of my mental wondering with an abrupt change in subject, "did you help come up with the plan to get us back? Because it was pretty good. Brute force and all that." She smiled, obviously trying to bring the mood to something lighter. However, I was curious that her capture was the topic of choice. Not that we had many other shared experiences to draw from.

I arched my eyebrow in response, "You're complimenting me on that?" I stood and started to pick up the rest of our gear.

"Well, it was a hell of a lot better than the last one they tried."

I froze midstep, "Last one?" This was the first and only retrieval we had attempted.

"Yeah. In Chicago. With the pack of psi-hounds." She shrugged as if it was no big deal, but I had seen psi-hounds in action and they could be absolutely deadly. They would never had been to track the girls down, it was too much of a risk to them. Plus, none of our reports ever placed them in Chicago, not even close.

"This was the first time we found you. In Portland."  _and even that had been a lucky break,_ I silently added. Without the anonymous tip, we may have never found Rose and the Princess.

"Um, I don't think I imagined psi-hounds. Who else could have sent them? They only answer to Moroi. Maybe no one told you about it."

"Maybe." I sounded distracted and dismissive but my mind raced with her question: who else could have sent them?

* * *

Rose gave me a wave and a smile before she started to leave, heading back to her dorm. I halfheartedly said goodbye and told her when to meet me tomorrow. I watched her make her way back towards the novice dorms and I followed behind at a much slower pace towards my own room. My mind was still reeling from what she has told me.  _Who else could have sent them?_

I finally made made my way to my room, and tossed my bag on the bed. Before, I had been looking forward to finally resting, but I couldn't get the thought out of my head. I spotted the file complied on disappearance Princess Vasilisa and Rose on my desk, and I sat down to flip through the documents again.

Nothing. After hours of reviewing the file there was nothing on psi-hounds, nothing on Chicago, nothing on any "first attempt" at retrieval. Only an anonymous tip a few weeks back stating they had been spotted in Portland. It was the first any only real lead we had in their entire disappearance.

"Perhaps they imagined it?" I wasn't convinced, but I had no other explanation. Who else would have been looking for them? Who else would have had the connection to actually find them? And why would they have tried to capture them rather than taking their knowledge to the authorities?

It was several hours past curfew when I finally laid down in my bed. Even then, I didn't fall asleep right away despite my exhaustion. My mind recounted the events of the past few days. The mission. Seeing Rose in that window, meeting her eyes for the first time, seeing the determination in her as she fought me to protect Vasilisa. Watching that same determination in training today. The concern in her eyes as I spoke about Ivan, that strange understanding... The last thing I remember before falling asleep was her turning to wave goodbye this evening, how her long dark hair flipped and framed her face...her smile. I slept more soundly than I had months.


	6. Sunday Peace

The next morning came much faster than I hoped. I met her at the gym before the rest of campus had started stirring from their beds. She was still five minutes late, but it was a vast improvement on the previous afternoon. Her t-shirt was a tad wrinkled and her hair was a mess, and there was still some lingering hints of sleep in her eyes. It was obvious that she had ran to the gym to try to make it on time and I appreciated the effort.

"We'll start with laps today before moving on to some weights and combat training."

Her face dropped a little and if possible, she looked more exhausted from just the thought of running laps. "Seriously?" she asked, but she was already making her way to the back door and towards the track. Her movements were stiff from yesterday, as I knew they would be, but she didn't complain...too much. "How many?"

"Not sure yet. Consider this an assessment. I need to see what you can do before we can start the real training."

She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh before looking at me again with pursed lips. She was stretching her shoulders in an attempt to work out her muscles' weariness. I knew she wasn't thrilled with the idea, but we had to start somewhere.

"Come on," I encouraged while placing a hand on her shoulder. "You'll feel better once you start getting your blood pumping. I'll even run with you today."

I let her take the lead as she started from a slow jog, gradually working up to a steady pace. She was well out of practice. I could see beads of sweat working their way around her hairline while I barely felt my heart rate rising. Soon, her breath was becoming ragged.

"You can do this Rose! Concentrate on your breathing. Focus on an object ahead of you and make that your goal." Her form adjusted with each instruction and she continued to push herself until I knew she had reached her limit. "Once you hit the starting point, you can stop."

This was the last bit of motivation she needed. She picked up her pace slightly for the last bend and crossed the finish line with her arms raised as if she has just won the Olympics. She walked one more lap to cool down before grabbing her water bottle from the bench and collapsing in the grass. She smiled and laughed to herself as wiped the sweat from her brow, still high off of the exercise endorphins.

Meanwhile, I picked up a small notebook from my bag and marked her time and distance. Eight laps, 2 miles. The distance wasn't far off from a beginning freshman's at the academy, but her timing was still longer than I had hoped. While most freshman could finish this distance in 20 minutes or less, she completed it in 25.

After giving her a moment longer to rest, I instructed her back towards the weight room. She followed me in, while rustling through her bag.

"Damn!" I heard more expletives being mumbled under her breath.

Without slowing, I glance over my shoulder and raise my eyebrow. As much as I tried to chastise her for her foul mouth, I actually found it somewhat amusing. No one would ever accuse her of being inexpressive. She reminded me a bit of my grandmother Yeva. Sure, she may not always be appropriate, but she always said what was on her mind. It could be an endearing quality...sometimes. "So how is the world ending today, Rose?"

"Not quite that dire, Comrade." She was inspecting a small tube. "I just didn't get the chance to pick up more lip gloss before you kidnapped us. I'm running a bit lower than I thought."

"I'll try to be more considerate next time." I longed for the days where my biggest concerns were about things as trivial as lip gloss. I didn't quite appreciate my final years of schooling, and I wish I had.

"Next time?" She asked optimistically.

"Don't get your hopes up, we still have a lot of work to do before I let you loose upon the world again."

By this time we had made it back to gym's weight room and after an hour or so of rep's, we reviewed some of the things she had missed in her combat and theory classes. We followed a similar pattern for her afternoon practice. Saturday, I let her sleep in a bit longer since I wasn't competing with her class schedule, but made up for it for double the practice time. Instead of the usual three hours of daily tutoring, we had a full six.

Thankfully, she was a quick study and I realized that it wouldn't take nearly as long as I thought it would to catch her up. Within a few weeks, I expected to be able to start some sparing to practice and perfect the techniques, and perhaps I could even introduce some more advance ones. The only thing truly holding her back was her stamina, but even that was getting better with each practice. As long as we continued to improve her physical endurance, she would graduate. There was a chance she could even excel towards the top of her class. I couldn't help the small sense of satisfaction at the thought. While I never intended to become a teacher, I was already proud of my student and glad that I had taken the chance on mentoring Rose.

* * *

On Sunday, I made my way over to the Russian Orthodox church on campus. While I rarely took time off from my job, I did try to make an effort to attend the weekly services. This wasn't very difficult since there were only a few other guardians who did the same. I slipped in early, just as the first couple of students were starting to come in. I took my usual position in the back pew on the left hand side, and became a shadow consumed in my own thoughts.

Despite my weekly attendance, I'm not a highly devout man. My mother was a true believer, and out of my siblings, I think Karolina has a deep conviction to our faith. Part of the reason I came was simply to feel close to them. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine myself as a child back in the chapel down the street from my family home. I could still still see the brightly colored frescoes and gilded crosses. I faintly heard the chanting in my native tongue. It brought me a moment of peace. I'm grateful for the endeavors my mother went through to ensure that me and my siblings had some sort of religious upbringing, but I could never quite satisfy myself on the particular doctrine.

That isn't to say that I am not spiritual to some extent. I desperately want to believe that there is some higher power overseeing the balance of the world, and that our actions (good and bad) have eventual consequences. The idea of spiritual anarchy – every soul for itself – terrifies me. As does the idea that death is simply the end. While I find some sort of peace in the quiet and safety of the church, it is short lived each week. I would like to believe that one day I could  _be_  at peace. I hope one day that I'm free of the guilt, sorrow, and pain that many of my memories hold over me. If I have to wait until death, then so be it.

I saw Rose walk in beside the Princess, and take their seats a few rows ahead of me near the middle of the congregation. Rose looked bored and distracted almost immediately. She didn't strike me God-fearing, so this didn't surprise me much. She was most likely coming to enjoy what little social interaction she could. Vasilisa, on the other hand, was very reverent and engrossed in the sermon. Their attention briefly focused on a figure sitting across the aisle from them. It took me a moment to recognize that the black mop of hair belonged to Christian Ozera, Tasha's nephew. I had promised her that I would keep an eye on him when I transferred here. A small smile crossed my lips as I remembered my childhood friend. While my life was full of trials, her's was one that even I felt some pity for.

I had known her younger cousin back at St. Basil's, but I had also grown fairly close to her. At one point in my youth, I had even harbored a small crush on her. She had feelings for me as well and we did attempt a relationship a few years back but my assignment at the time made it impossible. Even without that excuse, I don't think that it would have worked out between us. After Ivan's death, I simply grew distant from her just as I grew distant from everyone else. While I had spoken to her on the phone when I received my transfer here, I haven't seen her in years.

Christian was the son of her older sister, who I never had the chance to meet. Several years ago, when she was about my age, Christian's parents did the unthinkable and killed to become one of the immortal Strigoi. It's heartbreaking when someone is turned by force, but it's inexcusable when they do so by choice. While I never pressed her for details, rumor has it that she protected Christian from a similar soul-less fate by placing herself between them and the child until the guardians could arrive. She was nearly killed in the process, and some of the beauty she enjoyed in her youth was sacrificed in the act. A deep purple gash spread across her cheek on one side. For a few years she tried to cover it up to no avail, but I'm glad to say that she now wears the scar proudly.

Not many Moroi would place themselves in front of a Stigoi to save another; that was a guardian's job. But she did so, and more likely than not her choice saved Christian's life. She should be proud of her actions. I was proud of her and admired her strength. Unfortunately, the Royal Moroi society didn't see the same things I saw. She and Christian, whom she took in as her own, were both essentially outcast because of his parents actions. Since Christian seemed about as interested in the preaching as Rose or myself, I wouldn't be surprised if he was here simply to prove that he hadn't made the same choice as his parents. Stigoi could not enter holy ground; his presence here proved that he was still Moroi.

A sudden sharp movement from Rose caught my attention. She was now listening intently to the Priest's sermon. I tried to make out what he was discussing. It seemed to be another life story about the schools namesake: St. Vladimir. No doubt she had heard this story multiple times before she left with Lissa, so I couldn't understand why it seemed to captivate her so. There was the occasional mention of his own personal guardian, Shadow-Kissed Anna. While nobody quite understood what it meant, the term "shadow-kissed" was used like a title for Anna. All that is known about her was that she was extremely close to the Moroi Saint, and protected him from more than just physical harm. She was also a strength to him mentally and even spiritually to some extent. Rumors abounded that they shared some sort of romantic relationship, but I personally didn't buy into them. Records of her guardianship came across as more familial, almost like she was protecting a sibling or a child rather than a lover. There was no doubt that they were close, almost like she could anticipate his needs before anyone else. She was one of the best guardians of her time, even outliving his peaceful natural death. Unfortunately, her own story took a very bad turn for the worse after that...

The lecture ended and I watched as many of the students fled the chapel to various other social activities before school started the next day. I expected Rose to be part of their number so I waited for her to pass so that I could confirm our training time for tomorrow and remind her to stay out of trouble. When I didn't see her after a few moments, I thought I might have lost her in the crowd. Unexpectedly, I saw that she hadn't made a quick escape but was actually conversing with the priest. I was starting to regret my earlier assumptions about her convictions, when the priest left for a moment and returned with a rather large old book. That shocked me more than anything else; I may not be certain of Rose's religious beliefs, but I knew for a fact that she had no interest in reading for entertainment. She made it a point to tell me several times as she ridiculed my own habit.

After she took the book and tucked it under her arm, she met with Vasilisa just outside the chapel. I attempted to reach her again and caught the last bit of the conversation between her and and her friends.

"Seriously?" Rose's tone displayed a bit of both shock and interest. "Are they, like, going to run off together?"

Vasilisa nodded enthusiastically. "They're getting a house. Going to get jobs with humans, I guess."

Rose turned her attention to the young man in the group, another Moroi royal. "How are Abby and Xander dealing with that?" she questioned. It was suddenly clear to me what the topic of their gossip was. The scandal has been passed around the school guardians quite a bit recently as well.

"Okay. Embarrassed. They think it's stupid." His reply was condescending until he remembered who he was talking to. "Oh! I didn't mean –"

"Whatever," Rose cut him off with a flippant wave and a forced smile. "It  _is_  stupid." I was a bit taken aback by her attitude. With Rose's fight-the-system mentality, I would have expected her to be on the side of dahmpirs having the right to love and marry whomever they want. This was the third time she had shocked me today, and I had yet to even speak with her. I quickly decided that she knew well enough to stay out of trouble and be on time to practice without my reminders, and returned to my place.

On the way back, my thoughts turned to Guardian Smith, Xander and Abby Badica's guardian that was at the root of the scandal. While I had never met the woman he was planning on marrying, I had met him in passing a few times and knew that he was a very dedicated and skilled guardian. It would take something very important for him to resign from his position, be stripped from his title, and start over again in the human world. He would be essentially exiled from any part of the life he knew before.

It made me a bit remorseful that it had to be this way. While dhampir-dhampir relationships or marriages aren't illegal in any way, they are looked down on quite a bit in our society. The occasional fling was accepted, but long term situation were practically unheard of. However, leaving two families unprotected because those guardians wanted to remain together was far worse in our world. It went against many of the customs in our society, and it definitely violated the phase that was ingrained into dhampir student's heads: "they come first."

Dhampirs are a hybrid of sorts, half human and half Moroi. We inherited some of the best traits of both races including sharp senses from our Moroi lineage and increased physical strength and stamina from our human genes. Unfortunately, we are also born with a particular quirk: a dhampir cannot reproduce with another dhampir. That is why we are so closely tied to the Moroi.

While interactions with humans became taboo long ago, we still survive by having relationships with Moroi. Though, perhaps "relationship" is too strong of a word. It is rare for a dhampir and Moroi to have more than a passing romance, and those are typically between dhampir women and Moroi men. It is uncommon for a dhampir man like myself to have the opportunity to be a father. While I would love the chance to raise a family, I've accepted that it simply isn't in the cards for me.

What's much harder to accept is that, more often than not, the dhampir mothers are typically used by Moroi men and then left to deal with the result of that relationship on their own. What is worse is that they are ridiculed by both the Moroi and dhampir communities alike, despite that it is necessary for our race's survival. They tend to raise their families together, in a commune of sorts, where they are spared some of the shame of society's glare, but it is unfair all the same.

I was raised in one of these communities, spending my childhood and school-aged Summers along side my mother, sisters, and grandmother. I knew first hand that a lot of the rumors and ridicule were blown way out of proportion. Many of the women there were simply doing the best they could to raise and provide for themselves and their families. Some were fully trained at an academy, others (like my own grandmother) even served for a time as an official Guardian before returning home to raise a family. Yes, there were those that traded a night with a man in exchange for the endorphins that accompanied a Moroi's bite, but they were the minority. Unfairly, any female dhampir living in a community like this was painted with the same brush; they were all considered Blood Whores, even if most would never consider the act.

Thinking about my home and my family made me long to hear their voices. It was about midnight here, which meant that it was about 1pm there. Since the town of Baia ran on human time (making it less noticeable to humans living in and around the area) I knew they would be awake. However, at midday, they may not be home. I pulled out my cell phone and attempted to call them anyways. After five rings, I hung up, not bothering to leave a voicemail. I wouldn't know what to say anyways. There wasn't any particular topic I wanted to discuss with them. I just wanted to talk to them and know that they were okay.

With a few hours to kill before my next scheduled shift on the grounds, I debated between relaxing with one of my books or hitting the gym. While I was training often with Rose, we weren't anywhere near the level it took to push me physically. I had no doubt that we'd eventually get there, but for now I knew that I should probably put in some personal practice time as well. I grabbed my bag, pre-packed and ready to go, and made my way to the gym so I could focus on something much more tangible to me than love, family, and life after death.


	7. The Fox and the Dream

Before my eyes even focused on the surroundings, I could smell blood and lingering stench of death in the air. It took less than a second to pull my stake, and only a few moments longer to make my way through the back door of the home. My heart was racing as I made my way towards the front of the house, towards the living room. I occasionally glanced towards one side or another, checking for threats but already knowing they were long gone. Finally, as my feet automatically led me to the final horrid scene, I saw him. Ivan. I had relived this dream...nightmare...memory so many times that I didn't even check for a pulse. I simply stared at my best friend and charge. I let the guilt wash over me like it had so many times before. Just off to his side was my partner, Stefan Radu. His neck was twisted awkwardly where he lay and his eyes simply stared at me, hollow and accusing. " _Where were you?"_ they seemed to say. I wanted to beg forgiveness, but I was already too late. I was always too late.

My stake dropped from my hands as I fell to my knees. It was useless trying to save them now. I simply stared at the two men before me. I started to wonder 'what if...' What if I had sent Guardian Radu to pick up the missing item for dinner that night and stayed here instead? What if I had simply waited to drop off the package for my family at the post office? What if I had insisted that they come with me? What if I had chosen another time or another day to run those seemingly insignificant errands?

Suddenly, a hand rested gently on my shoulder. I was so focused on the scene in front of me that I hadn't heard anyone approach. I reached for my stake when I heard her voice. "You shouldn't blame yourself. You couldn't have prevented this and this isn't your fault. They know that. You know that. I know that. They wouldn't want you to relive this moment night after night. They would want you to move on; to remember them and live your life with joy, not pain and regret."

They voice was familiar, comforting. I had heard these same words (or something like them) from others, but for once they didn't seem pitying or disappointed. For once, I believed them. The pain and guilt didn't vanish, but it subsided. I felt the desire to move forward rather than look back.

I finally tore my eyes from the corpse of my friends to gaze at the person beside me. The shock of seeing who it was almost overcame the shock of seeing the death lingering so close by. While I had never had a visitor, a comforter, during these dreams before, she was the last person I expected. Perhaps my mother, or grandmother, or even one of my sisters. Perhaps my own mentor, Galina. Not Rose.

But there Rose stood. Her hair was flowing down her back like a gently wafting curtain. A small smile played on her lips, both sad and hopeful. But what took me back the most was her eyes. They were dark brown and endlessly deep. Within them I saw acceptance, promise, understanding and something completely unrecognizable yet desperately essential. I was amazed to find everything I needed within her countenance.

I touched her hand, still resting on my shoulder, as I stood before her. My fingers tingled with electricity where our skin met. No longer was I kneeling, but I still felt some worshipful awe at this angel of mercy who seemed to both understand my pain and take it away. In her eyes and her smile, she offered everything my heart desired. All I had to do was reach out and accept it. I felt the desire to simply take her in my arms and never let go. Her smile brightened when I took a step closer, closing the small gap between us as I reached for her before...

I woke with a start to the incessant beeping of my alarm clock. It was 4pm, early in the vampiric morning and long before any students would be awake. My breath was heavy with the vague memory of my dream, my skin tingling as my clothing wicked the last of the cold sweat away. I threw off my covers and shook my head to clear my mind as I made my way to the shower. Waking early was part of the new routine I had fallen into over the past few week since I took Rose on as student. Rose's practice didn't start until 5, but I preferred starting a bit earlier to get my own training in. I did most of my weight training along side Rose, plus some other balance and flexibility work, but it was easier for me to get my morning run in alone. Her pace was still significantly slower than mine, and while I only required three miles out of her each morning and afternoon, I preferred to run five to seven miles each morning.

As much as I disliked leaving my bed so early, I had to admit that it has some benefits. Moroi can stand to be out in the daylight, but it is uncomfortable. Because of this, they keep a nocturnal schedule. While Dhampir aren't affected by the sun any more than a typical human, we generally keep the same schedule as our charge, which for me meant living the night life. Still, I craved the warmth of the sun and with my earlier than normal schedule, I was able to enjoy the last few hours before sunset while I was on the track.

Running was also my favorite time to simply allow my mind to wander. Something about the steady rhythm of footfalls allowed me to slipped into an almost hypnotic state. Often, my thoughts drifted towards the same direction as my dreams: my family or Ivan, the occasional old childhood memory. Today, I kept seeing flashes of my earlier dream. It seemed convoluted, but I could remember little bits and pieces. Rose standing beside me as I mourned my best friends and guardian partner. The understanding and acceptance that lightened my pain and guilt. Reaching towards her. None of it made sense in the last light of the sun, but those random memories still it brought a sense of peace. Oddly, it was that peace that confused me and worried me most.

I shouldn't really be thinking of Rose, much less dreaming about her. It was one thing to spend time with her in practice, to discuss her unusual bond to the princess, to think of her needs while planning her training sessions, or to feel invested in her education and career as her mentor. However, this was not only unusual, it was unacceptable. Seeking her out – unconsciously or not – for comfort, understanding, or even friendship was a line I shouldn't cross. Still, I couldn't help but appreciate that momentary peace that her presence gave during my nightmare. Though it was only a dream, I knew that she also had a somewhat calming presence (for me at least) in reality. She could get on my nerves like no other, but on occasion she also made me feel relaxed enough to let down some of my internal walls. It was as if she understood and accepted me, rather than simply respecting me and my past. I never sought it out, but it was hard to completely ignore.

After my run, I had a few minutes left until Rose was due at practice. I pulled out my novel and sprawled out on the mat to wait for her. While she was getting better about being on time, our earliest session was the most unpredictable. I had barely made it through a single page before I head the door opening. A quick check at the clock showed that she was only running two minutes behind, quite possibly a new record.

"Whoa, Dimitri," her bag thumped on the floor and I braced myself for the sarcasm that I could already hear winding up in her voice. "I realize this is actually a current hit in Eastern Europe right now, but do you think we could maybe listen to something that wasn't recorded before I was born?"

I quickly glanced at her, and was tempted to roll my eyes as I had seen her do so many times. I had left the CD player on after working at the punching bags, and the radio had started playing "When the Doves Cry" by Prince. This song even predated me. While it would never rank in my top 100, it wasn't a horrible song either, but I knew how much she enjoyed our morning banter so I played along.

"What does it matter to you? I'm the one who's going to be listening to it. You'll be outside running."

Rose scrunched her nose as she stretched her legs, and then stuck her tongue out playfully. No come back; score one for Dimitri. I smiled and suppressed a chuckle as I returned to my book.

"Hey," I heard her shifting into her next set of stretches, "what's with all the running, anyway? I mean, I realize the importance of stamina and all that, but shouldn't I be moving on to something with a little hitting? They're still killing me in group practice."

This was the closest she had come in a while to directly questioning my training with her. While we did review combat moves, we had yet to do any sparring together. I wondered if she was still just messing around. "Maybe you should hit harder?"

"I'm serious." From the tone in her voice, I knew she was.

"Hard to tell the difference." I set my book aside and stared towards the ceiling as I pondered how to answer her. I knew she wasn't being disrespectful per say, but was simply curious about why I focused so hard on something so elementary. It deserved an honest answer. "My job is to get you ready to defend the Princess and fight dark creatures, right?"

"Yep." I felt the corners of my lips pull up as I heard the excitement in her voice. Only an inexperienced novice would be so eager to get out in the field and take on a challenge so daunting.

"So tell me this: supposed you manage to kidnap her again and take off to the mall," as much as Rose had matured in the past month, I still wouldn't put it past her. "While you're there, a Strigoi comes at you. What will you do?"

"Depends on what store we're in," she replied with an impish smile.

I shot a look at her. While I should have expected such a reply, I wasn't in the mood for her joking at the moment.

Her face dropped a tad and she gave her real answer, "Fine. I'll stab him with a silver stake."

I finally sat up. This response was more acceptable, but it was still predictable and more importantly it was still incorrect. "Oh?" I raised an eyebrow to her. "Do you have a silver stake? Do you even know how to use one?"

That earned me a bit of a scowl. I knew it was a sore spot with her. Her peers were well into their training with stakes, but because of her time away she still had a bit to go before I'd start teaching her how to use one. Infused with elemental magic, they were a guardian's deadliest weapon and had to potential to kill a Strigoi instantly. However, they could also be lethal to Moroi and dhampirs if handled incorrectly. We start training novices with firearms in their freshman year, but stake training didn't start until half way through junior year.

"Okay. I'll cut his head off."

She was playing into my lesson exactly how I had hoped she would, simply listing the three ways you can kill Stigoi. "Ignoring the fact that you don't have a weapon to do that, how will you compensate for the fact that he may be a food taller than you."

Her hand went to her hips and I saw the last of her patience wither away. "Fine, then I'll set him on fire."

"Again, with what?"

"Alright, I give up. You've already got the answer, you're just messing with me. I'm at the mall and I see a Strigoi. What do I do?"

I met her eyes and made sure I had her full attention. "You run."

She seemed shocked for a second and I didn't blame her. It was far from the answer that she was expecting, and was far from the answer that most guardians would expect. However, when you are in a situation that you are unprepared for, it's important to know when to flee. When that time comes, you better be ready to run. Her look became a bit more questioning, but she didn't comment any further.

"Come on. I'll run with you today." I figured that the best way to show my dedication to my lesson was by example. Even with my run this morning, I knew it wouldn't hurt to run with her again. We made our way to the track silently.

Once again, I let her set the pace. A few laps in, I needed to slow down a little bit to match her again. With fire in her eyes, she shot me a glare and sped up just slightly. We both knew that I could out run her easily, but she still didn't want to come across as weak. I smiled inwardly at her little show of competition and mentally recorded it as another way to motivate her in the future. We kept this pace nearly to the end of the three mile run when some voices – male voices – called to her and cheered her on.

"Good form, Rose!" As innocent as it sounded, I knew from the smirk in their voice that they weren't speaking solely about her running technique.

She smiled flirtatiously and waved back to her fans, slowing down just a bit in the process.

"You're slowing down," I snapped, harsh enough to surprise us both. "Is this why your times aren't getting any faster? You're easily distracted?"

Her cheeks flushes slightly and she sped up once more to a pace faster than what we had been keeping most of the morning. I matched her new speed but my mind was still locked into what happened moments earlier.

 _What the hell was that about?_  But I already knew why I had snapped at her. I was angry about the boy's comments, and even more upset about her friendly response. No...not angry or upset. That would be an expected reaction from a dedicated mentor. Perhaps my words matched what I should have felt, by my tone did not. My tone was possessive and jealous. Jealous that those boys would have the nerve to flirt with her in front of me, and that she would flirt back like it was nothing. Jealousy was not an expected nor acceptable reaction from a mentor. I was entitled to feel some sort of protectiveness about her, but no more than a father or brother. That – what I had said and how I had said it – was anything but familial. I didn't know where it came from so unexpectedly, but I was glad that Rose didn't seem to find anything amiss.

Rose suddenly slowed for her cool down lap and I was so distracted by my own actions that I almost didn't realize that our run was over. I checked my watch and saw that she had shaved a full two minutes off her best time. If that was the result of running with her, then I knew I should do so more often. Even with my earlier outburst, I felt a swelling of pride in my chest as I let her know her new record on our walk back to the gym to cool down and clean up before her classes started.

"Not bad, huh?" she smirked playfully as she walked of me, her footsteps practically dancing with the residual running high. "Looks like I could get as far as the Limited before the Strigoi got me at the mall. Not sure how Lissa would do."

I smiled at the child-like joy of her accomplishment. "If she was with you, she'd be okay." My mind and mouth seemed to be running away with themselves today. Once again the words were that of a mentor, proud and complimentary, however the tone was far from the correct mark. I barely had time to register what I had said or the surprised smile it had earned from Rose before her eyes became slightly unfocused.

I recognized the look from the last time she was snapped into Lissa's head, though it was no less unsettling. It only lasted a moment, barely enough time for me to see what was happening before she blinked and focused on me. Her eyes showed pure terror before she turned an took off in the direction of the Moroi dorms.

Despite just finishing three miles and setting a new personal record, she was running faster than I had ever seen. In my shock, I was frozen for a moment before I started running myself and calling out to her. She ignored me and ran faster. She had some distance on me, but I was slowly gaining on her after my own 10-mile mini marathon that morning.

Suddenly, a pale figure fleeing from the opposite direction came into view and ran directly into Rose's arms. It was Princess Vasilisa. Rose held her, stroking her hair and alternating between soothing words and requests for explanation. While she focused on Lissa, I stood guard over them, poised to attack any unknown treat.

Finally after a few moments, Rose was able to determine that whatever had terrified the fragile Moroi was in her room. We slowly made our way back, before I left them in the hall to check for additional dangers. For the most part, the room didn't seem that different from the many other student's that were on campus. A shared room, one side more lived-in than the other, with personal touches scattered about. However, there was one element that was very misplaced and more than mildly disturbing. On the middle on one bed – Vasilisa's most likely – was a fox. It was dead, it's neck slit and it's fur and surrounding bed spread stained with blood. It's eyes were open and unblinking, glazed with what was probably painful and horrific last moments.

After finding no other issues, I shut my eyes against the unsettling sight and pulled out my phone to call Guardian Petrov and Headmistress Kirova. This was more than your average act of vandalism or bullying, this was something meant to induce nightmares and send a very threatening message to the recipient. With one final look that made my stomach turn in knots, I left the room to rejoin the girls in the hall and wait for the others to arrive.

It took only a few minutes before I led the entire party into the room. The Headmistress immediately brought her hand to her mouth to suppress a gag, while the three other guardians silently overcame their shock at the image on the bed. Despite what you may think, one never really overcomes the unnerving presence of death, and it was all that much harder to ignore when the circumstances were anything but expected.

The final figure to walk into the room was Rose, with the princess still wrapped in her arms. I had hoped they would stay in the hall, but I knew Rose's curiosity and protective nature would get the best of her. Her eyes widened when she saw the mutilated fox, but she did her best to cover her squeamishness as she pulled Vasilisa tighter into her embrace and buried her face in her friend's blonde hair. She was seeking comfort as she was giving it.

Vasilisa simply stared for a moment before breaking free from her protectors grasp. Oddly, she stretched out her hand towards the poor creature. Over the commotion of the adults trying to compile some explanation for the act, I heard Lissa's whispered breath. "It was still alive when I got back...barely." She clutched onto Rose for support as her legs wobbled beneath her. "Oh God, it was twitching. It must have suffered so much."

My heart broke for the gentle girl and what she had witnessed. However, my attention was renewed when their conversation continued into stranger depths. Quite but hurried, Rose asked, "Did you .."

"No. I wanted to...I started to..."

"Then forget about it. It's stupid. Somebody's stupid joke. They'll clean it up. Probably even give you a new room if you want." Her words were meant to console her friend, but I could hear an intense fear behind her voice. She didn't believe that this was a joke blown out of proportion. She knew that there was a very real villain behind this act.

Suddenly, Vasilisa's eyes grew wild. "Rose...do you remember...that one time..."

"Stop it," Rose cut off her words and threw a glace around the room to see if they were over heard. I tried to act as nonchalant as I could given the circumstances. "Forget about it. This isn't the same thing," Rose continued.

"What if someone saw? What if someone knows?..." Vasilisa was practically hysterical and Rose was desperately trying to keep her quite to reduce the attention to their strange words.

"No." Rose was gripping Lissa's arm so tightly, I wondered if she would bruise her. "It's not the same. It has nothing to do with that. Do you hear me?" Her strong, stern, commanding voice softened as she hugged her friend again. "It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."

Princess Vasilisa nodded, but it was clear that neither girl truly believed Rose's words.

"Guardian Belikov!" My head snapped to attention as Headmistress Kirova ordered me to escort Rose to her classes. Neither of us wanted to leave our charge in such a vulnerable state, but I couldn't disobey a direct order and I was assured that Vasilisa would be escorted to the clinic and taken care of there.

Instead of taking her directly to her first class, I walked Rose towards her dorm. She was still in her training gear and there seemed to be a few drops of blood on her shirt; evidence of the gruesome scene we had just left. I was silently replaying the conversation between the girls over and over again, trying to make sense of anything. Finally, a few steps from the novices' dorms, I stopped and turned to face her head on.

"You know something. Something about what happened." It wasn't a question, I knew she was hiding something and had been from the moment she returned to campus. "Is this what you meant when you told Headmistress Kirova that Lissa was in danger?"

Her eyes widened and I knew I hit the target dead center. Still, she denied it. "I don't know anything. It's some sick joke." She tried to walk away, but I held her in place by the shoulder.

"Do you have any idea who'd do it? Or why?"

She broke my gaze as she considered it for a minute. "No. No clue." Despite her dishonest denial earlier, I knew she was speaking the truth now. She really had no idea who would stoop to such a level.

"Rose," her eyes met mine again as I placed my second hand on her other shoulder and tried to gain her focus and her trust in this matter. "If you know something, tell me. We're on the same side. We both want to protect her. This is serious."

She pushed me away, strong and angry with a rabid look in her eye that was enough to make me flinch. "Yeah, it  _is_  serious. It's all serious. And you have me doing laps every day when I should be learning how to fight and defend her! If you want to help her, then teach me something.  _Teach me how to fight._  I already know how to run away." She was breathlessly panting, furiously looking at me and waiting for an answer.

I simply stared, somewhat awed by the realization that yes...she did know how to run away. She had done just that, fleeing with Lissa when she was against an unknown enemy and unprepared to fight back. She had done exactly what I had instructed her to do that morning. And I brought her back, I brought them both back to place where they feared. I had taken the option of running away, and it was my duty to instead teach her to to fight. To protect our charge and to protect herself.

"Come on." I beckoned her forward, still dazed by the realization that their two year disappearance wasn't spurred by a childish whimsy, but by a very real enemy. One she was fully dedicated to protect Vasilisa from. "You're late for practice."


	8. Rumors

I wish could say that the morning's events were the most interesting thing to happen all day. After the bittersweet dream, the brutal death of the fox, and the realization that my student and our charge were terrified of something on campus, I had my fill of excitement for the day. Unfortunately, classes had yet to start and it seemed like I wouldn't be so lucky as to pass the rest of the day quietly.

Initially, things appeared to be going well. As I watched Rose in her Advanced Combat class, she fought better than I had ever seen her fight before. She had come close to beating a few classmates in hand-to-hand sparring over the last week or so, but today she won effortlessly. I knew much of her passion and energy was fueled by this mornings trauma. While felt proud of her achievement, I wish she was in the mindset to celebrate and enjoy it the way she normally would. While her playful gloating was usually very childish, it would be comforting to see her typical reaction. Her current serious nature was almost depressing. She was acting more like me, but for once that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

Rumors spread fast around here, and I could already hear whispers of blood and foxes from both student and guardian alike. After the class, I could see a few students gathering around Rose. Some held back with an expectant look hoping to get more gossip, but a few stepped up to offer either congratulations on the match or comfort over what little details they knew about this morning. One in particular, Mason, seemed to be particularly soothing to Rose and was able to offer a friendly shoulder to her in a way that few others could. It was easy to see that his affections ran deeper, but I was starting to realize that he wouldn't over step his boundaries despite their flirtatious banter. I was grateful for that. And I was grateful that she had a friend to support her in a way that I was unable to.

By lunch, the news of the fox had spread to every corner of campus. The main cafeteria was practically buzzing with gossip. Natalie Dashkov, Vasilisa's roommate and Prince Victor's daughter, seemed particularly elated with the attention she was receiving because of it. Every time she recounted the horror, she did so more elaborately and energetic. Lissa however seemed sick under the stares and whispers that focused so intently on her.

Rose was by her side the moment she was freely allowed to do so, providing a buffer between her and those eyeing them like caged animals at the zoo. I wished that I could provide some shielding to them as well, but I knew stepping in would only make the talk worse. I walked out of the student cafeteria and started making my way back towards the guardian's lounge. I was off shift for the rest of the afternoon until Rose's practice so I took some time to eat my own lunch before getting in a short workout.

I had only been in the gym an hour or so when I heard some other guardians coming in. While I occasionally chatted with other guardians on campus, I had a reputation for being quiet and reserved and most respected that. I wasn't often interrupted with idle talk, especially in the gym, and I was fine with the unspoken arrangement. Since most of today's chatter seemed to surround dead foxes, I wasn't keen on eavesdropping. That is, until I did catch one piece of information:

"..and then he set him on fire. The poor boy was completely engulfed in flame in front of the entire class, but there wasn't a single singe mark on him or his clothing afterwards. It was honestly spectacular, I'd never seen anything like it."

That was enough to capture my attention. "There was a fire in one of the classrooms?"

The shorter of the two men stared at me like he was surprised I could even speak, but the taller one (the one who had been telling the story as they walked in) seemed excited to have a larger audience. "Even better! One of the Moroi students went crazy and actually used his magic against another student! It happened during Messiner's Animal Behavior class. Things were pretty normal, some occasional student banter and bickering, but nothing out of the ordinary. I guess that Ralf Sarcozy started giving your charge and your student a bit of a hard time when out of no where he was completely ablaze! That quiet Ozera boy – what's his name? Christopher?"

"Christian?"

"That's it! Christian. He started cracking up about the whole thing. I guess he's the one that did it. But man, I've never seen anything like it. I doubt he'll get much more than a detention because there wasn't a scratch on Sarcozy when all was said and done. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. By the way, your girl is pretty quick. She had the Princess safe and out of the way before the rest of us in the room could take a step."

I was glad that Rose's first instinct was to protect Lissa, but she wasn't really one to let others fight her battles quietly. I wouldn't be surprised if she threw a punch somewhere in there. "Did Rose put up a fight at all?"

"No, not really. A few verbal quips but nothing physical. She actually handled the whole thing pretty well considering what a brat that Sarcozy boy can be."

As the two guardians left to continue their conversation, I made my way towards the track to meet with Rose for her practice. While most students and guardians were using the indoor track at this time of year, I still preferred to be outside. It seemed like Rose did too, or if she didn't she never complained about it to me. Either way, it was well maintained even during the winter months.

I decided not to talk about the fire incident with Rose unless she brought it up first, since she didn't seem to step out of line during the interaction. Part of me wanted to pass on the compliment about her protective instincts, but I knew that the strain of the day out-weighed any good it would do to rehash another issue. She never talked about it, and the training session few by quickly with her unnaturally quiet and focused.

That evening, I finally had some peace and quiet to think about everything that had happened. I was on perimeter patrol near the North side of campus. There wasn't much out here so it promised to be a fairly quiet night. Most of the evening consisted of checking the protective wards and listening to hear any students sneaking off in pairs. Neither were an issue. The evening's work simply felt like a nice, long walk.

I considered calling Tasha about the the whole fire incident. I had no doubt that the school had already informed her about Christian's episode, and I hadn't really been there to witness it myself so I likely had no further information to provide, but I felt a small pang of guilt since I had promised to keep and eye out for him and hadn't really done so in weeks.

I knew there would be some discipline. Using offensive magic on another student practically demanded some sort of punishment. However, he would likely get some detention, community service, or (at most) a suspension of some sort. He wouldn't be expelled. Even if nobody liked to acknowledge it, he still was a Royal and that has certain privileges.

Any discipline would come from the school however, not Tasha. She was an advocate of Moroi using their magic both defensively and offensively, a very unpopular position. Even more importantly though, she was an advocate for standing up for others when needed. Something told me that she would actually be proud of his actions. While I could never say it out loud, and probably shouldn't even acknowledge it to myself, I was a proud of him as well. His shocking yet non-damaging display was in defense of both Rose and Vasilisa and the bully deserved it. While professionalism held me back now, I could guarantee that my own retaliation would not have been so kind at his age. I might pull off a good show of calm self-control now, it didn't come without years of personal practice. Naturally, my temperament was inherited from my father; quick, angry, and with the possibility to become very violent. I was ashamed to say that left unchecked, I had the capacity to resemble him much more than I would like to admit. Gratefully, I had guidance and support from two of the kindest souls I'd ever known: Ivan and my own mother. Both of them grounded me and set the example that I emulate today.

Still, my learned patience had its bounds...

After my shift, I made my way back towards the guardian apartments. I passed by the novice dorms and could see several groups of students in the common area. It was still early enough on the Friday evening for there to be a fairly even distribution of study groups and social group. Since Rose was basically on house arrest for the foreseeable future, I wasn't surprised that she wasn't present among her peers.

Truth be known, I was fairly impressed with her recent dedication. Not only was she doing well in her extra training sessions, she was also catching up quickly in her classes. Her grades in her non-combat classes were only average, but that was better than most of her teachers expected. As far as anyone could tell, she had been keeping to the terms of her probation and seemed to be flying under the radar for the most part. It was almost like the young woman that I had been working with for the past few weeks had nothing in common with the delinquent girl who ran away two years ago.

Just before I had passed the dorm completely, I heard my name being called. It was Guardian James Anderson. He was one of the newer guardians here, only about a year younger than myself. We trained together occasionally and he was a decent sparring partner, but we rarely saw each other outside of the gym.

"Guardian Anderson, what can I do for you?"

He looked behind him before advancing a few more steps closer to me, keeping his voice low. "I'm on dorm hall duty tonight, and a janitor just called in a couple of students sneaking off towards the fourth floor lounge. The girl matched Miss Hathaway's description. I was just about to head up there when I saw you, and thought you might want to check it out instead. Just on the off-chance that it's her."

I hesitated a moment. Rose had been doing extremely well, and part of me wanted to trust that it wasn't her running off. The other part of me knew that a stressful day like today might be just the thing that would break her of her good behavior. Guardian Anderson knew about Rose's probation and my arrangement as her mentor. While we weren't exactly friends, we were friendly and I knew him well enough to know that he didn't pass off his responsibilities at the drop of a hat. If he was offering me the opportunity to check on the students, it was for the benefit of Rose and I, not himself.

"I'm sorry, I just thought -" He started to turn back towards the doors.

"No, you're right. If it is Rose Hathaway, then she's my responsibility and I should take care of it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention."

"No problem. You've been doing really well with her. She was quite the handful when I started here, but you seem to be getting through to her. I know she's still on thin ice and I'd rather not see us down one more female guardian, especially since she's quite talented when she puts her mind to it."

"Me neither. Thank you. You said fourth floor, right?"

"Yep. Up the stairs and to the left. It's on the female side so it's pretty quiet these days."

He was right, the female half of the dorms were extremely quiet now. The building was split in two, with most of the common rooms on the shared first floor. While the male side of the novice dorm building was still fairly full and most male students had a roommate, the female side was practically empty by comparison. None of the female novices were required to have a roommate (though they could request one) and there were still quite a few empty rooms. The fifth and sixth floors were completely abandoned and Rose was one of the handful of girls to occupy a room on the fourth floor.

I made my way towards the lounge at the end of the hall. There were a few of these lounges scattered throughout the dorm building and were intended for smaller gatherings, but most students kept to the main floor lounges. The upper lounges didn't allow for co-ed use. As I got closer, it was quiet enough for me to here muted voices behind the door. I pressed my ear against the threshold to hear more clearly. I was disappointed to recognize Rose's voice, before it turned to shock at the ensuing conversation.

"Don't you think everyone would know if I was giving blood?" Rose's voice held some of the same forced confidence that I had heard on more than one occasion. Even slightly muffled, I could make out the nervousness in it.

"Unless you weren't doing it before you left. You did it while you were gone, didn't you?" The unknown male's voice sounded like a cat that caught the canary. "You fed Lissa."

I pulled away suddenly. It didn't matter who this young man was, a rumor like that would spread like a wildfire and could be damaging to Rose's career. It hardly mattered if it was true or not, and even thought it was true and done out of necessity and dedication, it wouldn't make much of a difference to others. It could brand her for life.

"I'm not a blood whore!" Rose's frantic voice was much louder this time, clear even without me pressed against the door.

"But you  _want_  to. You like it. All you dhamp girls do." The male voice was cocky and domineering. I had heard that tone before. It was the way my father sounded when he overpowered my mother, the voice I had heard from many a Moroi man trying to charm an unsuspecting dhampir girl. The manner of speech was enough to push me over the edge, but I held on with the final fibers of my self control.

"Stop it." Gentle and pleading, her false bravado was barely hiding her fear. I felt that last shred of my anger snap as I heard those words and imagined what inspired them.

I stood to my full height, set my jaw, and opened the door without warning. My eyes hit the couch just in time to watch the two teenagers spring apart from each other, Rose practically throwing the boy off her as soon as his grip loosened.

In the few steps it took to cross the distance between us, I saw red. Anger had tinted my vision as I focused on the Moroi. No matter how much my fists clenched at my sides, I knew I couldn't hurt him. However, I could scare him enough to never look at Rose again. Or any other dhampir girl for that matter.

I grabbed him by his shirt, right underneath the collar, and lifted him up. His feet were still touching the ground, but I was in full control of nearly all his weight. He couldn't run, he couldn't fight, he was at my mercy.

"What is your name?" I barked. My voice was unnaturally level considering the pure fury raging behind it.

"J-Jesse, sir. Jesse Zeklos, sir." Figures, he was a royal. Still, there was no sign of the cockiness I had heard only moments ago. He was terrified and that gave me a strange sense of satisfaction.

"Mr. Zeklos, do you have permission to be in this part of the dorm?" I already knew the answer but I wanted to watch him squirm a little longer.

"No, sir."

"Do you know the rules about male and female interactions around here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then I suggest you get out of here as fast as you can before I turn you over to someone who will punish you accordingly. If I ever see you like this again" – I pointed in the general direction of Rose and the couch – " _I_  will be the one to punish you." I locked onto his eyes, narrowing my own to make sure I had his attention before I spoke my final words. "It will hurt. A lot. Do you understand?"

Jesse's eyes went wide as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. I knew he saw the truth in my threat and was probably imagining all the horrid ways I could make him feel pain. He was only able to manage a small nod and a barely audible "Yes, sir!" as he began to quake under my shadow.

"Then _go,_ " my final word was emphasized by me practically throwing him to the door. Part of me knew that while I never truly laid a hand on him, my threatening words were more than enough to earn me a disciplinary write up. However, it felt good to watch him run out of the room without looking back. I smirked at the sight. In a moment, I felt like I had stood up for my sisters. I had stood up for the girls in my class and in my small town who had fallen prey to the lures of such men. I had stood up for my mother. I had stood up for Rose.

Rose. My anger was rekindled as I remembered that she wasn't totally innocent in this. If her previous record was any indication, she had invited and perhaps encouraged this situation. Maybe not what he had suggested moments before my entrance, but certainly the events leading up to it. Even if she hadn't, even if the boy had arranged everything, she knew better than to walk into such a predicament. She was already walking a narrow road with her probation and if anyone but me had caught them, I don't know if I could have saved her from expulsion. I may not have the authority to punish Jesse properly, but Rose was my full responsibility and I had no qualms about penalizing her.

I turned to face her finally, ready to give her a piece of my mind. And then, my mind was blank.


	9. Attraction

Rose stood no more than 3 feet in front of me, dressed in jeans and little else. Her shirt was tossed aside casually on the couch, but I barely saw it. My eyes were focused on her. Her hair was loose and slightly disheveled as it hung down her back. Her face was flushed, partly because of her previous activity and partly in reaction to me storming in unannounced. It must have shocked her enough to keep her still because she made no move to cover herself. Her black bra was a sharp contrast to the naturally tan skin of her stomach, her shoulders, and even her breasts. All were exposed to me and all seemed to hold me transfixed.

She wasn't the only one who was shocked. While I had expected to see her here when I walked in, I wasn't expecting to see her like this. Without realizing it, my eyes traced the gentle curve of her hips, her waist, her chest, and her neck before finally settling on her face again. Her eyes were darker than I remembered, still dilated from her tryst as well as the low light of the room. Her lips also showed signs of the rendezvous, red and swollen. They were slightly parted, breathing heavily as if still trying to catch her breath. Oddly, instead of becoming gradually more even, she seemed to become more breathless as I stared at her. Her cheek tinting with blush as our eyes met again and we simply stared at each other, frozen in our mutual daze.

I felt myself reacting physically. My heartbeat increased, my breathing started to match her own and my body screamed out with the desire to feel her skin against me. I could even feel myself swelling and becoming uncomfortable within the confines underneath my belt. She was amazingly beautiful, and I was becoming turned on simply by looking at her. Turned on by my seventeen year old student, I realized. Quickly, I looked away.

"You see something you like?" Her voice was saturated with false bravado, covering up her own embarrassment. It still hit way too close to home as I tried to focus on anything but her.

"Get dressed."

Within moments, I had regained control of myself. Both my wandering mind and traitorous body.  _Get it together, Dimitri! What the hell is wrong with you!_ I could blame my lack of recent female companionship all I wanted, but it was still no excuse to gawk at my underage student.

"How'd you find me? Are you following me to make sure I don't run away?"

"Be quite," I snapped. Okay, so I hadn't gained full control of myself yet. I was directing the anger at myself back towards her. Still, she was in trouble because of her own actions with Jesse, so perhaps it wasn't that bad.

I leaned down, trusting myself just enough to face her at eye level. "A janitor saw you and reported it. Do you know how stupid this was?"

"I know, I know. The whole probation thing, right?"

"Not just that." I wish that was the only issue here. "I'm talking about the stupidity of getting into  _that_  kind of situation in the first place." I gestured to the couch beside us. It was one thing to simply be caught with someone in a compromising position, but the idea of him biting her took things to a whole new level.

"I get in  _that_  kind of situation all the time, Comrade." Oh God, I hope not. I knew that her pre-run record had more than a few citations for being caught after curfew, but they never went into further details. I did hear some of the rumors about her though, and they went into plenty of details. I had hoped they were just rumors; out right lies or at the very least, exaggerations of the truth. The idea of any of these boys taking advantage of her like that (no matter how willing she was) made my stomach turn and my blood boil. "It's not a big deal." She finished.

Her attitude was anything but comforting. And I hated that nickname she kept using. This wasn't a time to joke. "Stop calling me that. You don't even know what you're talking about."

"Sure I do. I had to do a report on Russia and the R.S.S.R. last year." Her smug look almost made me laugh at the mistake, but it was enough to break the tension a bit so we could get back on track.

" _U_.S.S.R" I corrected, "And it  _is_  a big deal for a Moroi to be with a dhampir girl. They like to brag." I remembered a few of my female classmates and colleagues who had lost some of their reputation because of a loose-lipped and lying Moroi.

"So?"

" _So?_ " I was shocked, disgusted, and extremely agitated by her careless attitude towards this. "So don't you have any respect? Think about Lissa. You make yourself look cheap. You live up to what a lot of people already think about dhampir girls, and it reflects back on her. And me." I was trying to keep calm as I spoke to her, but I could feel my blood pressure rising.

Rose simply rolled her eyes. "Oh, I see. Is this what this is all about? Am I hurting your big, bad male pride? Are you afraid I'll ruin your reputation?"

"My reputation is already made, Rose." I had finally snapped, and her attitude went from sarcastic to scared as I towered over her, eyes blazing. "I set my standards and lived up to them long ago. What you do with yours remains to be seen. Now get back to your room – if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."

"Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"

At this point we were feeding off the emotions of one another and I spoke without thinking. "I hear the stories you guys tell. I've heard the stories about you."

We were inches apart at this point, both breathing heavy with fury as we stared the other down. Suddenly, her eyes went wide and I realized what I had just said to her. I had lost the facade of my professional mentor roll (though one could argue that it never actually came with me into this lounge) and I had made this personal. I had let my temper get the best of me. It would be one thing if I had calmly scolded her and doled out a punishment. Instead, we argued and I had yelled insults at her until she was at the breaking point. What I said had hurt her, deeply. The only thing that made it worse was that just for a moment, that had been my intent. To hurt her, to break her, and I had done just that.

I frantically struggled to find some way to apologize for my outburst as I watched her eyes rim with tears. She stepped back and sat on the couch beside us, putting her face in her hands to hide her crumbling composure. "Why is it wrong to...I don't know, have fun?" Her muffled words became more defined as she looked up at me, almost pleading. "I'm seventeen, you know? I should be able to enjoy it."

I sighed as I sat beside her on the couch. I was careful to keep some distance between us; close enough to hopefully provide some comfort, but far enough to keep us from touching anywhere. Part of me wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her close. I knew she was feeling vulnerable, and to be honest, so was I. My thoughts turned to my final years at the academy when I struggled to balance my impending career and the last of my youthful freedom. Sometimes I wished I had spent more time enjoying life back then, spending more time with my friends and family. Other times, I wish I had been that much more dedicated to my training. Perhaps it would have changed things for me ...for Ivan.

"You're seventeen, and in less than a year, someone's life and death will be in your hands. If you were human or Moroi, you could have fun. You could do things other girls could."

"But you're saying I can't." Her voice was calm, like she understood what I was saying even if she didn't quite accept it yet. Her eyes were so sad though. I knew she had wanted me to say something –anything – else. I felt the momentary desire to reach out and take her hand, to tell her how I wished things could be different. Instead I looked away.

"When I was seventeen, I met Ivan Zeklos." I still remembered that moment and wondered again how two people who seemed so different, could become so close in such a short amount of time. I continued, "We weren't like you and Lissa, but we became friends, and he requested me as his guardian when I graduated. I was the top student in my school. I paid attention to everything in my classes, but in the end it wasn't enough." I could almost smell the blood, the death. "That's how it is in this life. One slip, one distraction..." I closed my eyes and tried to focus on where I was right now, not that nightmare, "and it's too late."

We both sat silent for what felt like hours. We glanced at the floor, our hands, anywhere but each other. We were both lost in our own thoughts. When Rose broke the silence, I almost jumped. "Jesse's a Zeklos."

"I know."

"Does it bother you? Does he remind you of Ivan?"

The two boys shared some similarities. They had similar hair and eye color. They were about the same height and build. They were both extremely popular on campus and had enough charm to get their way if they wanted to. But that is where the likeness ended. Ivan held himself with confidence, not cockiness. He was hard working and studious, like I was. However he also knew how to have fun (within reason and without breaking the rules too much) and had pulled me from my own shell on more than one occasion. Despite the fact that he could probably have any girl he wanted on campus, he preferred relationships to one night stands. He was a good guy, who seemed to make the people around him better simply by being there. I missed him. But he was gone. And part of that was my fault.

"It doesn't matter how I feel. It doesn't matter how any of us feel."  _They come first._

"But it does bother you." It wasn't a question this time. Her tone was certain, and that was enough to pull me out of my memories. "You hurt. Every day. Don't you? You miss him."

I had that strange feeling like she was looking though me again, seeing things that I hid from everyone else and even those things I tried to hide from myself. It surprised me that she could read me so clearly, as if I was a book written in a language that only she could translate. Part of me was somewhat uncomfortable because I felt like I couldn't hide from her. On the other hand, it was also a bit comforting because she made me feel like I didn't need to. She understood me and accepted me. For a moment, she wasn't the immature and vulnerable teenager that I had saved from expulsion. For just a moment, I saw her as the strong, compassionate angel from my dream. I blinked the vision away.

"It doesn't matter how I feel," I asserted. " _They_  come first. Protecting them."

She looked like she was far away, perhaps thinking about Vasilisa. "Yeah. They do." She absentmindedly nodded her head in agreement as she bit her lip.

Quiet fell over us again as we sat alone in the lounge. I knew I should apologize for how I handled things earlier. Quite honestly though, I still didn't understand why I had gotten that upset. Why I had taken things so personally. It wasn't as if she had done or said anything to offend me directly. She had made a stupid mistake and disobeyed the terms of her probation, putting her enrollment here at risk. It was upsetting, but my response was hardly inline with her actions. Especially since many people, including myself, were half expecting her to do something along these lines eventually. If I couldn't understand why I had been so enraged as to disrespect her and tear her down emotionally, how could I apologize and explain myself to her. No. The best thing I could do now was to pick up the pieces around us and move on. I could start being the mentor she needed and deserved. To trust her, to invest in her, to believe in her.

"You told me you want to fight, to  _really_  fight. Is that still true?"

"Yes. Absolutely." While she sounded like it was the most obvious thing in the world, her face held an odd combination of hope and confusion.

"Rose...I can teach you, but I have to believe you're dedicated. Really dedicated. I can't have you distracted by things like this," I gestured around the room before capturing her focus again. "Can I trust you?" I was laying it all on the line here and I hoped she understood the weight of what I was asking.

To my pleasant surprise, she didn't give an automatic reaction response. She stilled for a moment, seeming to grow in confidence and determination before my eyes. "Yes. I promise."

I smiled completely. It wasn't something I did often, but I knew she meant what she said and that I could trust her to do what was needed. It made me proud. "Alright. I'll teach you, but I need you strong. I know you hate the running, but it really is necessary. You have no idea what Strigoi are like. The school tries to prepare you, but until you've seen how strong they are and how fast...well, you have no idea." I didn't want to think about the all too high percentage of guardians who don't survive their first Strigoi encounter. I couldn't let her become part of those statistics. "I can't stop the running and conditioning. If you want to learn more about fighting, we need to add more trainings. It'll take up more of your time. You won't have much left for your homework or anything else. You'll be tired. A lot." Honestly, we were already putting in a significant amount of time and between her classes and my guardian schedule, I still wasn't sure if we would have enough time to accomplish what we both wanted to. Still, I felt like I owed it to her, so we would do our best. If nothing else, it would help keep her out of trouble.

She only thought a moment longer before replying. "It doesn't matter. If you tell me to do it, I'll do it."

I wasn't sure what surprised me more: the fact that I was trusting her, or the fact that she was trusting me. It wasn't in either of our nature to do so, but trust was a part of being a guardian, especially in a partnership like we could expect after Lissa's graduation. I gave her a quick, approving nod. "We'll start tomorrow."


	10. Pinned

We somehow managed to find some more training time. I had convinced Rose to wake up an extra hour earlier each weekday morning, plus stay late an extra hour after school. This left her a little extra time in the evenings to finish any homework and shouldn't interrupt any evening shifts that I might have scheduled. I would lose most of my own personal training time, but as long as I worked together with Rose, it shouldn't pose too much of a problem.

The biggest change to our training schedule was on the weekends. While Saturdays were busy enough that we could only get an extra two hours in regularly, we did decide to start taking advantage of Sunday. I had allowed it as a rest day for us both before, but now we tried to fit four or more hours in right after the church service depending on any shifts I might have. After a week of the new schedule, we were both tired but the extra hours were already starting to make themselves worthwhile.

Rose seemed more focused now. We still had our usual sarcastic banter, but once we finished our warm up stretches, we both became all business for the most part. When we did let our guard down during practice, it was as if our mutual agreement had changed our relationship. She seemed to work with me by choice rather than by force. I was training her out of respect, not obligation. I felt less like the –what did she call me? Oh, her "Russian Jailer"– and more like an actual mentor. Though, that didn't seem like the right title either. We acted more friendly and relaxed. My own mentor, Galina, had been very focused on my training and we rarely had a conversation that didn't revolve around that or my job prospects following graduation. Granted, we had only met for an hour or so a day in extra training while Rose and I spent significantly more time together. It was only natural that we'd eventually talk about things outside of her education.

Beyond her new found focus and enthusiasm towards our training sessions, the extra hours had compacted our training timeline significantly. While we still weren't quite caught up with her peers, she was much farther than Guardian Petrov or I had thought she would be at this point. We had moved past bodyguard theory and combat technique instruction, to actually applying those ideas to her situation as a guardian. Today we would be looking at some of the disadvantages she may face in the field and how she can overcome them.

After our run, I led her to the mats already laid out. "What's the first problem you'll run into when facing a Strigoi?"

"They're immortal?"

"Think of something more basic."

She looked a bit past me as she thought about my question. Her brows furrowed in concentration and she bit at the corner of her lip. I was starting to notice that it was a habit of hers that I had seen on more than one occasion. Before I realized it, my own lips had form a small smile of their own. I quickly returned to the blank guardian mask when she refocus on me, barely escaping her notice.

"They could be bigger than me. And stronger."

I nodded in approval. The concept shouldn't be a new one to her since most of her classmates were male, therefore also naturally larger and stronger than she was. However, they were still nothing compared to most Strigoi.

Strigoi were unnaturally strong, with better reflexes and senses than dhampirs. Without the proper education, dhampirs were no match. But if we trained hard, we could often compensate for the learning curve. "That makes it difficult, but not impossible. You can usually use a person's extra height and weight against them."

Slowly, we started working through some of the combat techniques that she had been learning in her recent classes, adjusting her positioning slightly to compensate for the her opponent's larger size. Since I was a full foot taller than she was and probably out-weighed her by roughly 100 pounds, I made a perfect partner to practice with. After showing her a few basic principles that would help her overcome her natural weaknesses, she started applying them to the newer moves automatically. I was glad that she was picking up the lesson quickly. I must admit though, the passing thought that I was directly teaching someone how to to defeat me was amusing.

We slowly worked through different techniques for over an hour before I decided that it was time for her to truly put them into practice. She had been sparring with her peers for quite some time now, but this was the first time I felt like we were ready to spar together. I doubted she had ever fought a fully trained guardian – outside the night of her capture, and that didn't exactly work well for her – so I planned on holding back a little. I wouldn't hit as hard as I would if I was facing an enemy, or even as hard as I would sparring one of the other guardians in practice. However, I knew that it wouldn't do either of us any favors if I simply went easy on her. It would still sting if one of my blows landed, and I was sure that more than a few would since I was still significantly faster than she was.

"Go ahead," I beckoned while getting into a defensive stance in front of her. "Try to hit me."

I knew she couldn't resist the opportunity and lunged towards me without thinking. While her speed and technique was much better than the first time we fought that night in Portland, she was still fueled by adrenalin rather than focus. This fight ended about as quickly. A simple block and I had taken her down to the mat.

She did surprise me however by jumping up immediately to resume the fight. I knew the take down had hurt enough to take her breath away momentarily. The desire to win must have overcame the pain, and determination burned like fire in her eyes. She never found success. Several more attempts resulted in nothing more than blocks and a few strikes from me. After the fifth time taking her to the mat, she finally sighed and held her hands out as a truce. I extended my own to help her to her feet.

"Okay, what am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing." Honestly, she was actually doing really well. Amazing even. I had underestimated her speed, and her quick mastery of the principles I taught her earlier was enough to catch me off guard more than once. I had recovered in time, but it was impressive nonetheless.

Despite my assurance, she didn't look convinced. I think she would have more readily believed me if I had told her the sky was falling. "If I wasn't doing anything wrong, I'd have rendered you unconscious by now."

"Unlikely." I said with a small chuckle. "You're moves are all correct, but this is the first time you've really tried. I've done this for years." It was true. I had quite a bit of experience on her. Plus, I had watched her enough in practice to recognize small shifts in her posture before she made an attack. We were still an uneven pairing, but she had put up one heck of a fight. She was talented and with practice she would be quite an opponent.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes, clearly still skeptical. "Whatever you say, Grandpa. Can we try it again?"

 _Grandpa? I think I preferred Comrade._  I smiled at the thought and her eagerness to continue before looking a the clock. There was a special banquet tonight and we both had to get ready so we planned to finish early today. While I was simply working security tonight, I knew she was eager to attend her first real social event in a long time.

As she noticed the time, she was practically bouncing with anticipation. "Hell yeah I do!"

I should chastise her language, but her spirit was infectious so I simply turned away. I had only taken a few steps towards the door when I heard her steps behind me. They were too quick and purposeful for her normal pace, and a moment later I heard a small yet resolute yell from my student.

I smirked and braced myself for her 'sneak attack.' In one swift motion, I spun around and gripped her shoulders. Using her momentum against her, I knocked her to the ground and pinned her beneath me with her arms above her head.

She hit the mat with a groan, though I suspect that it was more out of disappointment than pain. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

I couldn't help but laugh as she gently struggled underneath me. "The battle cry sort of gave you away. Try not to yell next time." I also mentally recorded that we still needed to work on her stealth exercises.

"Would it have made any difference if I'd been quiet?" She lifted her head as much as she could under the circumstances.

I playfully mimicked her concentrated look from earlier then cocked my eyebrow. "No. Probably not."

She laid her head back down with a sigh of mock defeat, closing her eyes. Suddenly, it was as if I wasn't looking at my student. At least, it didn't feel like Rose was my student in that moment. I was abruptly aware of our position. I was situated atop of her, holding her by the wrists and my own torso and legs were holding hers in place. She looked peaceful and happy, a small smile playing on her lips. Lips that I suddenly wanted to kiss. Our faces were only a few inches apart, it would be all too easy to close the distance.

Her eyes opened with a start, looking right at me. A question played behind them. I studied her eyes, dark and alluring, desperately trying to decipher what she was thinking. I could feel the rise and fall of her chest underneath me as her breathing became heavy and uneven. I wondered momentarily if it was for the same reason my own breathing was becoming difficult.

She bit her lip again, and my breath caught in my throat. She looked at me with unnatural shyness before speaking, "So um...you got any other moves to show me?"

I started to smile and lower my lips to her own. Then I remembered where we were...who she was...what we were doing.

It was much harder than I'd like to admit to get up. I could feel a gentle tingle in the residual heat where my skin had touched hers. I almost reached for her hand to help her up, but thought better of it after what had just transpired between us.

She just looked at me shocked, confused, and almost...disappointed? I didn't allow myself to question why that could be as I spoke to her, turning towards the gym doors. "Come on. We should go."

I heard her hesitate before scrambling to her feet. I was out the door and on my way towards my apartment before I could hear here footsteps follow me outside. I needed to get ready for my shift at tonight banquet, and I knew I was going to start with a cold shower.

As I dressed in my formal Black & Whites (a pair of simple black dress slacks, a white button up shirt, and a tailored black jacket) I tried to think of anything else besides what happened at the gym. It was useless however. I just ended up mentally kicking myself over and over again.

I was an idiot for losing my self-control like that. Ever since I'd seen her in the lounge, I would occasionally catch myself thinking something totally inappropriate. Okay, perhaps many of those thoughts wouldn't have been inappropriate under different circumstances. Rose as my underage student though, and the category of "inappropriate" held quite a large selection of options when it came to her. Some were seemingly innocent, like watching her pull her long hair into a ponytail before practice and wondering what it would feel like between my fingers. Others, like some that invaded my vulnerable and unconscious hours, were enough to make me question my sanity. A dream a few nights ago nearly left me breathless.

_I had found myself in the lounge again, but instead of Rose being surprised, it was as if she had expected me. More than than, she was alone and waiting for me. She was dressed as before, which is to say that she was practically undressed in just her jeans and that black bra. As she walked towards me, her hair swayed behind her. She reached behind her with a smirk, and unfastened the clasp of the bra. I had just begun to loosen when I woke up, catching the breath that I held even in the dream. I was alone, in my bed, and painfully aroused. I could still hear her words – "You see something you like?" – ringing in my head._

I shook my head to clear it of the dream's memory. As inappropriate as those dreams were, I could at least find some solace that they were something brought about unconsciously and confined to the privacy of my own mind. What I had done today – almost kissing Rose – was somehow more upsetting because it had been  _real_. I had almost  _chosen_  to do something so completely inappropriate. It was even harder seeing my own desire reflected in her eyes. Or perhaps I had just imagined that she felt the same way I did in that moment. The thought should have been comforting...but it wasn't.

I finished fastening my holster to my belt and retrieved my stake. The cool metal shaft was a harsh reminder of my duty and responsibility. With one last breath to collect my thoughts, I slipped into the my trained guardian facade, holstered my weapon, and made my way towards the Queen's banquet.


	11. The Queen's Banquet

I stood near the back of the room at attention. Many of the school guardians were working tonight, and a good portion were in this room. The arrival of the Moroi Queen always called for a little extra precaution. The wards surrounding the school had been reenforced this morning and we had double perimeter guards patrolling them. Since all the students would be in attendance, there were very few patrolling the actual grounds or buildings besides this one. The queen's Royal Guard would take care of escorting Queen Tatiana, but the school also offered backup as needed. I had been assigned as "on call" for that job, but since I had yet to receive orders pertaining to it, I was simply standing watch in the cafeteria-turned-banquet-hall.

I was actually fairly impressed how well they had gotten this particular transformation down. Typically, the cafeteria gave a very industrial vibe. Florescent lighting, long plastic tables, blank walls with the occasional piece of characterless art. At least the guardian lounge, where most of the guardians took their meals, had some personality.

For an event like this though, the dining hall hardly looked like the same room. The tables had been covered in red linen, with vases of roses and lilies alternating with glowing candlesticks in between. Food trays were replaced with simple white place settings, name cards attached to each one for assigned seating. A large crimson runner divided the center aisle and stopped at a small raised platform near the front. A head table stood perpendicular to the rows of student tables for the Queen, select school staff, and a few royal invitees. The overall lighting was low enough that the bare walls seemed to fade into the background, and with guardians standing statue-like every few feet, we provided the final ceremonial detailing.

A banquet hosted by the Queen called for formality. Students and staff dressed much nicer than they typically would for an average school day and guardians were asked to wear our professional Black & Whites. While the Queen preferred her Royal Guard professionally dressed each day, most guardians preferred something more casual unless attending a special event. I had only pulled my Black & Whites out maybe a dozen times while at the academy, mostly for the most formal dances and the graduations each year. With Ivan, it had been a necessity more often due to his social schedule, but there was some camaraderie in the fact that he disliked dressing up almost as much as I did. I usually brought them to Court when I made my way out there, but it was a toss up on whether or not they were actually needed.

Students started filling the hall, along with some teachers and other staff. I saw Headmistress Kirova take her place at the head table and I quickly noticed Vasilisa finding her seat near the front of the student section, on the right hand side of the crimson runner. This wasn't unusual, seeing how the front half of student tables were reserved for Moroi while the dhampir novices sat towards the back. Race and Class division ran deep in our world, and youth weren't spared the separation any more than the rest of us. There were even signs of this among the Moroi students; those of Royal birth and in good standing always sat closer to the front and center of the room. It was all a political game, and by Lissa's assigned position, she was doing very well.

Rose entered with the final wave of students. While I wasn't exactly looking for her, she always seemed to grab my attention somehow. Her outfit brought a small grin. While it wasn't as formal as the dresses most of the girls decided to wear, it was a step up from her usual attire. She traded her typical uniform of jeans and tee shirt for an olive green sweater that stopped just past her hips and a pair of dark leggings underneath. She didn't wear any other adornment other than a belt cinching at her waist and a pair of simple flats. Her hair was loose around her shoulders. She was dressed simply, but she didn't seem to need all the extras that some girls cling to for attention.

She looked around the hall, a big smile lighting her face when she noticed Lissa in her honored position. When her eyes shifted around the room again, it was Mason who captured her attention. He waved her over, picking up the name card beside him to show her where her seat was. I would say that he was quite lucky, if I hadn't seen him switch her card earlier with another one a few seats down. There was an odd cross of amusement and annoyance as I continually saw him vie for her attention. The feeling was settled a bit when I reminded myself of two important points:

First, I would prefer her association with him over most young men in this school, especially ones like Jesse Zeklos and...

Second, she didn't seem to notice his advances one bit. Or, if she did, she politely ignored them.

Once seated, she absentmindedly scanned the room again. It took me a moment to notice that she wasn't focusing on the students but the guardians lining the hall. I stood a little taller realizing that she was looking for me. I looked straight ahead so I didn't meet her eyes. However, I also didn't miss the awkward smile that crossed her face when she finally saw me. I didn't have to think about what inspired it. I was fairly certain that she was replaying this afternoon just as much as I was. She quickly looked away to continue her conversation with Mason and the others around her.

Everyone rose as the room quieted and the royals entered. Victor Dashkov was among them, moving slowly and painfully. Once the group was seated, four members of the Royal Guard entered and scanned the room. I felt many of the guardians around me stiffen at their presence. It was no question that those men and women were some of the best out there, and they earned our respect without hesitation. One of the guards, an upper-thirty gentleman with salt-n-pepper hair who I assumed to be the captain met Guardian Petrov's eyes and they exchanged a quick nod before he spoke into the nearly invisible radio at his collar.

The two guards behind him opened the double doors as the room sank to their knees momentarily in a show of loyalty. Only those of us at attention around the walls remained standing. Queen Tatiana entered with four other guards surrounding her. The captain and his partner led the procession though the main aisle, slow enough to keep pace with the royal woman.

She quickly made her way though the novice section, smiling and nodding to acknowledge the group as a whole rather than any specific individual. While they respected her, the Royal Guardians accompanying her probably held more awe for them. Because of their birth, they would never hold a significant place of political power in out world. The highly honored position as a Royal Guardian was an attainable goal however. It was one that I aspired to at their age and still considered from time to time. After actually working as a guardian however, perhaps simply reaching the age of 35 was a worthy goal to seek. I knew that more than a few of these students wouldn't live that long.

 _Rose will. I can help make sure of that at least._  I focused again on her momentarily as the thought came unbidden.

My attention was quickly redirected as I heard another familiar name.

"Vasilisa Dragomir."

Vasilisa gave a small curtsy as the Queen addressed her. It was quite an honor to be addressed directly.

"We heard you had returned," the Queen continued. "We are glad to have the Dragomirs back, even though only one remains. We deeply regret the loss of your parents and your brother; they were among the finest of the Moroi, their deaths a true tragedy."

I could see the Princess's polite smile fall just a hint at the mention of her family, but she regained her composure quickly.

After a moment longer, Queen Tatiana addressed her again. "You have an interesting name. Many heroines in Russian fairy tales are named Vasilisa."

I briefly remembered some of the stories my mother and grandmother told my sisters and I in the evening as children.

"Vasilisa the Brave, Vasilisa the Beautiful." The queen continued, "They are all different young women, all having the same name and the same excellent qualities: strength, intelligence, discipline, and virtue. All accomplished great things, triumphing over their adversaries."

I could see Lissa stand a little straighter under the praise. From the corner of my eye, Rose mirrored her posture and I found myself unintentionally doing the same.

"Likewise, the Dragomir name commands its own respect. Dragomir kings and queens have ruled wisely and justly in our history. They have used their powers for miraculous ends. They have slain Strigoi, fighting right alongside their guardians. They are  _royal_  for a reason."

As the room buzzed, I considered her words about Moroi fighting alongside guardians. It seemed like such an odd thing to mention as praise when it is now generally seen as unacceptable.

"Yes," Queen Tatiana's voice silenced the hum around her. "You are doubly named with power. Your name represents the finest qualities people have to offer and harken back in time to deeds of greatness and valor." Lissa was beaming now, however I could hear something lingering in the Queen's voice that made my skin crawl. "But, as you have demonstrated, names do  _not_  make a person. Nor do they have any bearing on how that person turns out."

The Queen turned away after that, as if Vasilisa wasn't worth her presence and all Lissa could do was bow as she walked away. Her face never looking up from the floor after that.

The protective urge in me felt a small pull towards my charge, but my job was to prevent physical pain, not emotional pain. I ignored the instinct, but I knew that I wasn't the only one who would feel the need to rush to Lissa's side.

Rose was still near her seat. She had moved slightly out of position, but not enough to warrant the attention of anyone else. I could sense the fire as her anger practically radiated it. Her muscles were tense and I knew that she was considering avenging her friend's honor. I pleaded she would look my way so I could discourage those thoughts.

She was focused on Vasilisa.

I looked around, slightly panicked. I knew I couldn't approach her without drawing more attention to Rose. Luckily I saw that I wasn't the only one who noticed that Rose was on edge. Mason stood behind her, his hand outstretched slightly so he could grasp her if she moved any further. It seemed like all three of us held our breath waiting. Rose finally relaxed, letting her shoulders slump in defeat. She knew that there was nothing she could do. Still, Mason and I were both tense until everyone took their seats and dinner officially started.

As soon as she possibly could, Vasilisa left the reception. Rose left right behind her. I waited the last seven minutes before my replacement for the evening would relieve me. I knew there was a dinner provided in the guardian's lounge for the event, seeing how we wouldn't have a chance to actually participate in tonight's dinner, but that would have to wait. I felt the need to see to my charge first.

By the time that I'm finally relieved, I knew that Rose and Vasilisa could be practically anywhere on campus. Taking my best guess, I start heading towards the Moroi student dorms. I heard some voices coming from the courtyard adjacent to the cafeteria. As I got closer, I could recognize one of the voices: a very agitated Rose.

I followed her raised voice through the maze of hedges until I found a group of girls near the the statue of St. Vladimir. Rose and Lissa were among them, as well as a smaller blonde girl who had harassed them on more than one occasion since returning. Rinaldi I believe, Mia Rinaldi. She and Rose had exchanged words a few times, but as I stepped into view it looked like the current argument might actually come to blows.

Luckily, the presence of a school guardian was enough to break the rising tension in the air. "Everything all right?"

"Sure thing, Guardian Belikov." Rose was had a fake smile plastered across her face, doing very little to hide the rage that was mostly directed that the Rinaldi girl. I was certain that I had earned a small part of it as well, since she knew I would restrain her if she took any physical action. Calling me by my professional title only confirmed as much. I could count on one hand the number of times she had willingly done so, and it had never been done out of respect. "We were just swapping family stories. Ever heard Mia's? It's  _fascinating_."

The tiny blonde flicked her hair over her shoulders and rolled her eyes. "Come on." Her command led the majority of the girls towards the courtyard entrance, leaving Rose, Lissa and I standing next to the statue.

The final look between Rose and Mia left one thing certain. This wasn't over. Growing up in a house full of women made it easier to spot the battle ground of the cruel wars that girls fought. I had been in a few fights growing up and I could wholeheartedly say that I preferred the way men and boys settled their battles. Most often, it ended in a few bruises and scrapes. At worse there was a broken bone. Women however...they were vicious. They would use words to slowly slice at each others souls, cut by agonizing cut, until their victim lay in a bloody heap at their feet. They didn't break bones, they broke spirits. The scars that their wounds left would last longer than any that I had given or received during my schoolyard brawls.

"I'm supposed to take you back to your dorm," it wasn't exactly the truth since I hadn't been ordered to do so, but I also knew that she could be reprimanded for breaking her probation if she didn't get back to her dorm soon. After the incident I just witnessed, I preferred to escort her there myself. "You weren't about to start a fight, were you?"

"Of course not. I don't start fights were people can see them." Her voice was flat and her eyes never left the entrance that the posse had walked through moments before.

I could hear the Princess start to reprimanded her as I simply shook my head. "Let's go," I urged, vainly hoping that this would all somehow blow over. I nodded once to to Vasilisa and bid her good night before making my way out of the courtyard.

"You going to be okay, Liss?" Rose's voice was quiet and concerned and I waited a few steps ahead of her.

"I'm fine." The gentle voice was barely audible, even to my sharp hearing, but it was enough for me to know that she was lying. I turned back at the pair, Vasilisa doing her best to feebly reassure Rose while Rose seemed ready to do whatever it took to erase pain on Lissa's face.

"Liss..."

"I told you, I'm fine. You've got to go." She nodded in my direction. Rose finally sighed and stood to follow me, reluctant to leave her friend but knowing that she couldn't do anything to sooth the humiliating events of the night.

As she walked beside me in silence, her eyes focused just ahead of her feet, I wanted to say something to break her sullen mood. I was still searching for something a minute or so later and ended up saying the first thing that came to mind. "We may need to add an extra training on self-control."

She gave me a snarky smile. "I have pleanty of self contr–hey!" Her eyes suddenly focused on the dark figure that had been heading the direction we came from.

I recognized Christian as Rose purposefully made her way towards him. He seemed more annoyed anything else that his trip was being interrupted.

"You going to see Lissa?" Her earlier rage was suddenly directed towards him.

"What if I am?"

"Rose, this isn't the time." I might as well had been invisible. Rose was ignoring me and Christian was surprisingly apathetic under her glare.

"Why don't you just leave her alone? Are you so messed up and desperate for attention that you can't tell when someone doesn't like you? You're some crazy stalker, and she knows it. She told me all about your weird obsession – how you're always hanging out in the attic together, how you set Ralf of fire to impress her. She thinks you're a freak, but she's too nice to say anything."

Both Christian and I were shocked into silence by her rant. I had heard Rose mention once or twice in training that Lissa was spending time with someone she didn't approve of, but I don't recall her ever naming the student. Christian Orzera would have been my last guess. However, remembering that he stood up against the Sarcozy up for Lissa seemed to fill in at least one of the missing pieces.

"But  _you_  aren't too nice?" His earlier apathy was quickly morphing to agitation.

"No. Not when I feel sorry for someone."

The two of them stared the other down. Christians eyes were dark with loathing, but he still shirked away slightly from the wild girl in front of him. I didn't blame him. Growing up in Russia, I had heard the cautionary tales of hunters or hikers stepping between a mother bear and her cubs. I had a feeling that if Rose would protect Lissa with the same brutal passion if she felt the need to.

"Enough." Apparently forgotten on the sidelines, my voice was enough to make them both jump and break their trance. I placed an hand on Rose's shoulder, feeling some of her tension release under my palm as I steered her back towards her dorm.

"Thanks for  _helping_ , then." Christian's eyes followed us as we left.

"No problem," Rose's called back with a final smirk as I turned her around the corner, blocking their view of each other with a hedge.

We made the rest of the way back to the novice dorms in silence, my hand still on her shoulder to guide her. Rose's breath became more even with every step, but I could still see her frustration. Part of me wanted to reassure her that Christian was a decent boy, but the truth was that I didn't know for certain. I could only assume such because I knew Tasha, and believed that she would raise him to be respectful despite the adversities that faced him. Even if I could sooth Rose's mind about Christian, it was only a small part of the overall stress I knew she was suffering from. I had no idea what had caused the animosity with the other girl, thus no answer. As for the the Queen's very harsh and very public words condemning Princess Vasilsa? There simply was no solution. No matter how unfair or cruel she had been, the Queen had the privilege of doing as she wishes.

If it hadn't been so close to student curfew, I might have led Rose to the gym rather than the dorms. I had found that some time at the punching bag was often a great stress reliever. As it was, all I could do was encourage her to sleep it off and hope that she was feeling better in the morning. I briefly considered heading to the gym myself, but decided to catch a quick dinner before turning in. It had been a long day, and I was ready to see it end.


	12. A Mission of Sacrifice

The guardian lounge was busier than usual tonight. It was to be expected, but I was still somewhat surprised just how many people lingered at this hour. A majority of the provided dinner was eaten, and now it seemed that most were simply staying for socialization.

I silently greeted a few familiar faces as I made my way towards the food table. I grabbed one of the few remaining grilled chicken breasts, some of the roasted vegetables and a bit of brown rice pilaf. While dhampirs had a fast metabolism naturally, and guardians tended to burn calories quickly, I also recognized that I wasn't the same sixteen year old who could finish off a large pizza by myself with ease.

I fought a small chuckle of amusement as I thought about the dietary habits of most of the novices here. While there were always healthy options and lighter fare available at the cafeteria, most students gravitated towards the standard teenage fare like hamburgers and french fries. Rose in particular had a soft spot for chocolate donuts and I couldn't recall her ever willingly eating a vegetable. While I still indulged in the junk food of my youth from time to time, the thought of continually eating fried food on a daily basis made my stomach churn.

As I searched for a place to sit, I realized that there wasn't a quiet table to be found. Instead, I ended up taking a spot at one of the larger tables where several guardians were exchanging news and gossip from outside the academy gates.

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence. The academy often felt like it's own little world and it could be days, weeks, even months before we heard what was going on at Court or anywhere else that wasn't of  _official_  record. The arrival of several Court guardians and others assigned to traveling Royal Moroi was an opportune time to gather some information beyond our isolated walls.

I silently listened as some more information was given about Guardian Smith and his new fiancee after the whole Badica scandal. Both were recently denounced, stripped of their titles, and outcast. The last that anyone heard from either of them, they were making their way West towards a small town in Southern Utah. As upsetting as it was that they would be forced to start their lives over from scratch, I was glad that they were finally free to live how they saw fit. I wouldn't call it envy since it was was difficult to be jealous of such a difficult road ahead of them, but I did momentarily wonder what it would be like to live outside of the social rules and pressures that this life was burdened with. Either way, it was unlikely that they would ever be heard from again. They would soon be old news.

Occasionally though, old news seems to get a new life. Such was the case now...

"Tanner is was summoned for a disciplinary hearing last week."

Tanner...the name was familiar but I had a hard time placing it.

"About time he returned. The Council has been more than lenient with him. It's been over a year and he's still no closer to finding her than the day that she left."

Ah...that was it. Mikhail Tanner had left a position at academy a year or so back after Sonya Karp had turned. I hadn't known either of them. Guardian Tanner had left a few weeks before I had arrived, and the former teacher, Mrs. Karp, had voluntarily killed to become Strigoi a month or so prior to that. Since everything had started at this campus, it had been quite the news for some time. As far as I understood it, there was a relationship between the two of them. It was somewhat unusual for such a relationship, even at the academy, but not completely unheard of. What did make it astounding was that he apparently cared enough to go after her after she changed. Many insisted that Sonya Karp had been unstable for quite some time, though nobody expected her to do something so drastic. On the other hand, Guardian Tanner was very level headed and his decision to take an extended leave to hunt her down was somehow even more shocking. Since he had leave built up over the years, nobody could really deny him the opportunity to do as he wished, but it was not a mission sanctioned by the Guardian Council at Court.

"Why did they call a disciplinary hearing though? Wasn't he just using his personal leave?" The question came from one of the school guardians from the elementary campus.

"He was, but that ended a couple of weeks ago and he didn't return for reassignment."

I guess I should have known that he wouldn't be returning to campus. Even though we were short guardians, he wouldn't provide a good example to the novices training here. He had probably been submitted for reassignment shortly after he left.

"How did they find him? Where is he now?"

"He was keeping touch so that he could get information about Karp's possible location. It wasn't hard to drag him back to court. A few members of the Council suggested that he be formally denounced, but our numbers are getting too low to simply fire anyone who steps out of line. They have him working some paperwork job at Court."

"Honestly, I don't think he was up for anything else," another guardian cut in. I believe he was one of the personal guardians of a Royal who stayed at Court. "I saw him shortly after he returned. He's practically a shell of the guy we knew before. Even if anyone wanted him as a personal guardian, I doubt he would have the focus needed to take the job"

I shook my head as I finished the last bite of my dinner. I could sympathize to a certain extent. I remember feeling broken after I failed Ivan. While I had recuperated quite a bit since then, there were still times where I felt like I could never be the guardian that he had trusted for so long. But I knew that many of us felt that way at one time or another. We all had our losses. We were expected to pick ourselves up and move on. They come first.

That's why these sort of missions weren't sanctioned by the Council. While almost all guardians agreed that being turned in battle was a fate worse than death, there weren't enough guardians to hunt and release those from that soulless state. There weren't even enough guardians to protect the Moroi as well as we'd like to, and to support such a mission would mean that there would be even less available protection. Not to mention that vigilante Strigoi hunting was akin to suicide; it was one thing to defend yourself and others when needed, seeking danger out was a whole other situation.

Yet I wondered what I would do if I was in Mikhail's place. It was obvious that he loved Sonya, risking both his career and his life to "save" her. Despite being trained to lay down my life in protection of others, I don't think I could sacrifice so much for just anyone. I knew there were only a handful of people that would make me consider the option, but even then I don't know if I could actually go through with it.

I had killed acquaintances who had been turned before. My third kill was an old classmate of mine. Even knowing that he wasn't the same person, and perhaps just a shell of something evil, it had been difficult to take the life of someone who I had known before. He called me by my name, and even mentioned our time at the school. I remember the look in his eyes as I staked him, just moments before they became dull with his true and final death. It was a look of recognition. Obviously, he had recognized me from the beginning, just as I had recognized him despite his slight change in appearance. His new state still held to the memories of the young man I had graduated with. But in the last instant before he died, I didn't see the monster, I saw the man he once was. At the time, didn't feel like I had killed an undead beast in defense of my charge. For that one moment, it felt like I had murdered an old friend. It was one of my most difficult kills; not because it required skill, but because it required dedication.

As difficult as it was to take the life of someone I knew, I could only imagine how much more difficult it would be to dedicate yourself to releasing someone, and ultimately failing. Not only had he lost the chance to finish what he set out to do, he was coming back to almost nothing. He had lost his job at the academy here, and it wasn't likely that any other academy would take him. If he wasn't even fit for one of the academies – where they typically send guardians who need to recoup after a severe loss or traumatic experience – then it was doubtful that he'd ever hold a position as a personal guard again. He would probably always remain at Court with a black mark on his record. On top of that, with to the disciplinary hearing, it sounded like he wouldn't be cleared for even patrol work anytime soon. I felt trapped within the grounds of the academy and I had the comfort of knowing that I'd be back in the field within a few months. He could be sequestered to nothing more than filing for the rest of his life.

I cringed at the thought. Perhaps it would have been worth it if he had felt like he saved the love of his life, but without even that consolation...it must be unbearable.

It was late now, and the guardian lounge was slowly dying down as kitchen staff came in to clean up the provided meal and guardians left for the evening. Some were catching one of the later planes back to Court with their charges, others were leaving for a night shift, and some (like myself) were simply returning home for the night. I was able to leave without having to chat beyond some light pleasantries with those around me, and by the time I made it to my apartment a few minutes later, my body was begging for the relief of sleep. I happily complied, falling asleep moments after laying down.

The next morning, I was in the gym waiting for Rose. It was Saturday, and I was ready for another long day of training. We now had a standing reservation each Saturday and Sunday for one of the small practice rooms in the gym building. We typically used it for combat practice and anything else that didn't require a track or other equipment. While it quiet enough to use the main gym during the week, it tended to be a bit busier during the weekends so having some personal space helped.

I had only been waiting a minute or two when Rose arrived. Nothing was particularly unusual about her. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants and a sports tank top that I had seen her in several times before. She was pulling her hair up into her usual pony tail for practice. Nothing out of the ordinary, but for some reason I couldn't take my eyes off of her. As she fought to tame the dark mane, I had full view of the feminine curves of her torso. As she began stretching, I watched her muscles flex under her almond color skin...skin that I knew would be soft under my fingers. I blinked and tried to refocus, banishing the inappropriate moment from the forefront of my mind.

She was talking to me, but I couldn't seem to understand her. I only heard a word or two before I would become distracted again. Her smile, her neck, the small sliver of skin that showed between hem of her tank top and the waist band of her pants when she stretched to one side. I felt like I was going crazy within my own mind. I couldn't concentrate. Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"Dimitri?"

The sound of my name finally pulled me out of the haze of my distress. "Yes?" I willed myself to focus on her eyes – those dark, beautiful eyes – while doing everything I could to keep my face from betraying the strange emotions pulling me in every direction.

She laughed and shook her head. "I asked if we could spar again. Would that be okay?"

"Yes, sure." The response was automatic, and I instantly regretted it. If I was having trouble controlling my mind now, what would happen with physical contact? I should send her outside to run, to the weights for some conditioning, pretty much anything other than sparring. But as she moved into place on the mats she looked so excited to practice and I couldn't deny her.

I went on the defensive. It seemed like the safer choice today. After circling each other for a moment, her weight shifted left and her right leg swung around in a high kick. It was a fairly obvious move that was easy to block and I immediately countered with a jab. It never connected. She used the momentum of my block to quickly spin to the side of me and out of my reach, throwing a quick punch to my kidney before I could relocate her again. Stepping back to face off once more, I saw the smile on her face. She was quietly celebrating the victory of getting the first hit in. It only lasted a moment, but that was all the distraction I needed.

I used my extra wingspan against her, going for a backhand at head level. She rose her arm to block, leaving her body unguarded, but surprised me by stepping closer to me before I could continue my combination. Her close distance made it impossible to get a good hit on her while she was free strike at will. She was using my height against me, just as I had showed her the day before. Still, stepping closer to your enemy was always a bold move when instinct encouraged you to keep your distance. The best option for me was to use brute force.

While her hand was still up blocking my previous move, I quickly grabbed her wrist, twirled her around, and pinned her close to my body – her back against my chest. The movement seemed much more appropriate to dance than combat, but with her body trapped against mine she was practically helpless. All I needed to do to win was to mimic an impending Strigoi bite by exposing her neck. She struggled against me as I used my free hand to shift her head to the side with a quick yet gentle movement.

"Win."

She struggled in my arms a moment longer, not yet ready to accept defeat. Finally, she relaxed against me as she silently resigned herself to her fate.

That's when I should have let her go. That's when I should have broken away to discuss the match and her techniques. That's when I should have done almost anything but stare at her unprotected neck...which is exactly what I did.

Suddenly, I was hyper aware of just how close we were. One of my arms wrapped around her body, holding both of her arms against her waist. She was still catching her breath and her chest rose and fell in even, decisive moments. God help me. From this position I had a great view of her breasts, able to see the dark valley between them as I looked down.

My own breathing hitched as I fought my physical reaction. Closing my eyes against temptation, I lost the battle when I felt how her hips were centered against my groin. Shamefully, I bit my tongue and peeked at her, knowing that my predicament wouldn't escape her notice. All I could hope for was that she would accept a desperate apology and pretend like this never happened.

Imagine my surprise when the horror and disgust I expected never materialized on her face. Instead several other emotions moved swiftly across in succession. First, her brows furrowed slightly in confusion before recognition and understanding made their appearance. In shock, she turned her head to look at me for the first time since I ended the fight. Time seemed to stop as her eyes bore into mine. I couldn't breath, waiting to see what would happen next.

She smiled.

That smile was the final push I needed to jump off the cliff I had been standing on all morning. That smile held so many emotions, but the two that stood out most were the ones that were mirrored within me: hope and desire.

I immediately brought my lips to her neck, still exposed from battle. Instead of an imaginary bite, I bestowed a kiss. Her breath caught in her throat with a small noise of delight and surprise, and her body automatically arched against mine. The action pressed her deeper into my kiss as well as harder against my groin, already tight with excitement. From within myself, I heard a deep pleasure-filled groan escape in response. I smiled against her skin, amazed at how she could ignite such a primal response with ease.

Letting my kiss wander from her neck towards the soft sensitive patch just under her ear, I held her tighter against me. I was rewarded with a small sigh from the beautiful girl in my arms.

"Rose," my lip barely brushed her ear as I whispered her name. "My Roza."

I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to feel her lips against mine. I spun her around in my arms so that her chest was now pressed against mine, her face only a breath away. Bowing my head, I smiled as her eyes closed in anticipation. I stopped just before that sweet satisfaction, reveling in that moment just before contact. I brushed a stray hair behind her ear before guiding her closer to close the gap and share what I knew would be bliss. My lips barely grazed hers and...the bell rang.

No...not the bell. My phone. All of a sudden, the world around me became fuzzy, and not because of the high I was currently feeling. Even my Roza vanished from my arms. Yet the sound of my phone ringing remained.

My eyes opened and I was in my room, my phone buzzing insistently on my bed side table. It was the middle of the night, and I had only been sleeping for an hour or so. Without further hesitation, I answered the call. "Belikov."

"Guardian Belikov. This is the matron at the female novice dorms. There's a young lady here who is insisting that she needs to speak to you immediately." Her voice was hushed, but annoyed. I didn't see why she was so upset since I was the one just woken up, but she continued in the same manner. "Shall I send her away."

"No," I already knew who it was without asking. "I'll be right there."


	13. Partnership

As irrational as it was, there was a worry in the pit of my stomach that Rose somehow knew of my dream...that totally inappropriate but completely intoxicating dream. Perhaps my fear wasn't completely unwarranted; she could already read Vasilisa's mind and know what she feeling at any given time. True, they shared the bond...but we still didn't know what caused it. Was it unreasonable to be concerned that she was somehow getting into my head also? She already had an uncanny ability to see through the walls I've built up around me...

I reached for the handle of the door separating the stairwell from the matron's desk in the hall and took a deep breath before turning it, putting on the blank mask I so often wore. Rose was standing next to the desk, fully dressed but still showing signs of sleep. Keeping my voice level, I questioned her with a single word, hoping that the only other reason she would call me was the correct answer.

"Lissa?"

She nodded.

I turned around, letting out the breath of relief that I had been unconsciously holding, as I started back down the stairs towards the front entrance. I could hear Rose following behind me and quickly glanced back, but she didn't give me any more information about our late night journey. From the look on her face, she may not know what we'd find once we reached our destination.

As we made out way across the Quad towards the Moroi dorms, I silently wondered why Rose had called me in the first place. I knew she wasn't above sneaking out – though, she hasn't done that since returning to school...or at least she hasn't been caught doing so. There were only two reasons I could piece together as to why she had gone through the appropriate channels tonight. First, she had no other option and second, she was finally maturing enough to respect the rules. While I desperately hoped that it was the latter, I wasn't fully convinced. Either way, a part of me was proud that she trusted me enough to reach out when needed. I looked down at her as we moved, holding back a grin that was almost too eager to show itself.

Rose wrapped herself tighter within her sweatshirt, not noticing my gaze as she protected herself from the chill in the air. Closing her eyes, she tilted her face towards the mid-day (or night, according to the Moroi schedule) sun and momentarily enjoyed it's faint golden warmth. I understood her unspoken thoughts. Since many Moroi lived a nocturnal life, we dhampirs did as well. Still, the human half of us craved the sunlight. The wind blew a gentle breeze around us, making her loose hair dance and revealing her small smile and faint red highlights. I looked away, resisting the urge to touch a stray lock.  _It's simply left over emotions from that dream,_ I rationalized.

The distance wasn't very long, but we walked at a fairly brisk pace and reached the other dorms quickly. We surprised the hall matron, but with my presence we weren't questioned as Rose led the way up towards Lissa's room. As we neared her door, Rose finally spoke.

"She's in the bathroom." Rose passed the dorm rooms in favor of the shared bathroom on the floor.

I stopped, knowing that the girls may need a moment of privacy, however the hall matron continued forward.

Rose put out a hand to stall her. "She's too upset. Let me talk to her first." Her voice was clam and collected. There was worry, but it held none of the argumentative nature I had come to expect from her.

When the matron hesitated to comply, I confirmed Rose's plan. "Yes. Give them a minute."

Rose gave a nod of thanks before opening the door. "Liss?" I heard a small sob from my charge as the door closed behind my student. While I felt no immediate danger from Rose's reaction to the situation, I was still at the ready to run to their aid if needed.

After a few minutes of silence with the occasional muffled conversation, I knocked on the door. "Rose?"

"Just a sec!"

I waited a moment longer before the hall matron attempted to move pass me and shouted through the door, "We're coming in." She didn't make it much farther, stopped by the sight in front of us.

Vasilisa was pulling on Rose's hoodie as the door opened and as soon as her face was in view, I noticed the blood. I rushed to her side. There were small stains all over her face, and some on her neck and hair. The white tiled floor was covered with red splotches. Even Rose had some traces on her. While I couldn't see the obvious source of the blood, there was a lot of it.

"It's not mine," Lissa exclaimed quickly as I checked her for injury. "It...it's the rabbit..."

I stopped and stared at her in wonder. "What rabbit?" From the corner of my eye, I could see Rose curiously cock her head to the side, silently asking the same question.

She pointed towards a trashcan, speaking as Rose and I went to investigate further. "I cleaned it up...so Natalie wouldn't see..."

Peeking inside the metal bin, I tried to brace myself for whatever I would see. It wasn't enough. I quickly closed my eyes with a grimace, but not before I noticed Rose bringing her hand to her mouth in order to stifle the sudden wave of nausea we both felt. The smell alone was enough to inspire it, sharp and metallic with an almost overpowering scent of decay. However, that wasn't the worst part. The rabbit itself was practically indistinguishable, looking more like a mass of fur, organs, and body tissue bound by blood than any formerly living creature.

Rose was still gathering herself, shaking her head in disbelief, confusion, and worry. I moved in front of Lissa, kneeling to meet her at eye level. I knew that many people found my presence intimidating, and often that worked in my favor but tonight it wouldn't. While I had been getting to know Vasilisa a little better, she was in some sort of shock and I didn't want to make it unintentionally worse. Between kneeling and speaking in a soft gentle voice, I hoped that I could coax some answers from her. "Tell me what happened."

"I came back about an hour ago." Her eyes became hauntingly distant as she started to recount the experience. "It was right there. Right there in the middle of the floor. Torn apart. It was like it had..." she stuttered searching for the right word "...exploded." She gave a little sniff and appeared to reenter the present. "I didn't want Natalie to find it, didn't want to scare her...so I – I cleaned it up." She spoke to me frantically before looking towards Rose, eyes pleading. "Then I just couldn't...I couldn't go back."

Rose gave an understanding nod before Lissa bowed her head and the tears began to fall.

The sound of her sobs seemed to reanimate the matron, who was still standing at the entryway of the bathroom. "No one should be able to get into those rooms! How is this happening?" We all ignored her question since we had no answers to give.

I returned my attention to Vasilisa, who was still crying in front of me. "Do you know who did it?" I wasn't expecting anything since we hadn't gotten any other information on the previous attack.

Lissa didn't look up, but reached into her pocket and pulled out a small crumpled piece of paper, soaked with the rabbit's blood so it was just barely legible. I did my best to smooth it out and read the smudged words:

_I know what you are. You wont survive being here. I'll make sure of it. Leave NOW. It's the only way you might live through this._

The matron declared that she was going to go inform the Headmistress as soon as she saw the note, even without reading it. I nodded in agreement and told her that we would be at the clinic. I felt Rose come closer to read over my shoulder.

My brows furrowed at the words. This was a direct threat against Princess Vasilisa's life. It was my job to protect her. I looked up at Rose and knew she felt the same way. Either of us were willing to fight, to kill, or even be killed for her. However, all of those required action and at this point, we didn't know where to direct our physical energy to the cause. How could we fight something still unknown?

Rose broke our silent communication and went to our charge's side, linking her arms and supporting the majority of her weight. "Come on, Liss. Let's get you out of here."

I walked behind the girls as we slowly made our way towards the Academy Clinic, searching the area for threats. It was late enough at night that there was only a nurse on hand, but she offered to call the doctor as soon as she saw us. I dismissed her concern, "She just needs to rest."

As soon as Rose and the nurse assisted Lissa onto the bed, Headmistress Kirova made her entrance. She and a few other figures started questioning her all at once. Lissa's eyes grew wide and I could see her shutting down again. I began to position myself between her and the new visitors, but Rose beat me to the punch...in a much more rash way than I would have suggested.

"Leaver her alone! Can't you see she doesn't want to talk about it? Let her get some sleep first!"

"Miss Hathaway!" Kirova seemed unusually shocked by her outburst. "You're out of line as usual. I don't even know what you're doing here."

I stepped forward before anything could escalate further, "Headmistress Kirova, may we please speak privately for a moment?" It may have been phrased as a question, but my tone left little room to do anything but accept. I began walking towards the hall before she actually agreed and started following me.

"Belikov, you need to get your student in line. She cannot speak to authority that way." After everything that had happened today, and with such little sleep, I was already agitated. The sound of her voice was grating on my last nerve.

"Honestly, I'm inclined to agree with Rosemarie." My delivery was harsher than it should be and I struggled to remain calm and collected. "Vasilisa has been through a great deal tonight and is barely functioning as it is. Questioning her tonight will get you nowhere. Let her rest and you can get more information tomorrow."

"Even if you are correct, why is Rose here. She is a student. She has broken curfew and I'm inclined to expel her based on the terms of her probation."

Fury burned within me. I knew Headmistress Kirova was looking for any reason to get rid of Rose, even when Rose had behaved admirably tonight. I took a deep breath and counted to three before answering. "Rose has done nothing wrong..."

"But.."

"She was the one who informed me about Vasalisa tonight," I continued, ignoring her interruption. "As soon as she sensed through the bond that something was amiss, she went through the proper channels and contacted me. You can ask the hall matron in her dorm. I have accompanied her all night and she has been strictly professional about the matter. At the moment she is providing the most calming presence to Princess Vasilisa, and in my opinion, she should stay."

"She's a novice. Even if she is a comfort to the Princess, she isn't necessary. There are more than enough people here to protect her. You are her guardian. You can stay if you wish but Rose has no business here."

"You are right, I am her guardian and in my experience, comfort is just as important as protection in circumstances such as these." I stared her down, challenging her to disagree with me.

After a moment, she gave a small huff and walked towards the room with Vasilisa and the others. As soon as she walked in, Rose silently positioned herself between Kirova and Lissa, still determined to protect her friend.

"You may stay with her for a little while," declared the Headmistress to Rose before looking past her towards Vasilisa. "We'll have a janitor do further cleaning and investigation in the bathroom and your bedroom, Miss Dragomir, and then discuss the situation in detail in the morning."

I met Rose's eyes and we both gave a small nod, silently agreeing on the arrangement. Rose went to Lissa's side as I escorted the others out. When I returned, they were whispering to each other so I took a seat just outside the door to give them some privacy. I trusted Rose to tell me if anything was truly amiss.

After doing a quick perimeter check and not seeing anything out of the ordinary, my mind started to wonder about the events of the night. The note was direct threat on Vasilisa's life but it was still unknown who was behind this and the other incidents that have happened since they had returned. We weren't event sure it was the same person. For all we knew, this could be a copy-cat who was spurred on by the circulating rumors on campus. Either way, this was an escalation. If it was the same person, I was worried about what might come next if we didn't find the perpetrator. The note was hand written, so if we had a few suspects we could do a handwriting analysis. However, right now we didn't have a single lead.

I tried to start building some sort of profile based on what little deduction I could manage with the information I had. Both attacks had been in her hall, which wasn't exactly public access. Those who would have the easiest access without being noticed are be female Moroi students, school guardians, and staff that typically worked in the area. That didn't completely dismiss anyone else, but they would have a much more difficult time. Both attacks had been in her room, which didn't really excuse anyone else unless she and her roommate were mindful of locking the door each time. Even with it locked, most staff and guardians had a universal key, and that key could possibly be stolen without someone noticing.

I put my head in my hands, overwhelmed with trying to process the information in my exhausted mind. I was a guardian, not an investigator. I had been trained to protect against Strigoi, and while we also defended them against other predators on occasion, finding the sick and twisted individual that was psychologically torturing that poor teenage girl was way beyond my experience. At this point, all I knew was that the menace was someone on campus. Even that was a stretch since I wasn't certain, it was just a logical guess. I would check the gate logs tomorrow to be sure that no visitor overlapped both events, but whoever was tormenting Vasilisa seemed to be moving unnoticed through areas not typically open to visitors which would suggest that they were familiar with campus.

Overall, the whole thing was a mess. But even with all the darkness surrounding this experience, I found a small silver lining. Rose and I worked together as a team tonight, almost as if we were already guardian partners. I didn't even notice it initially, but somehow we had slipped out of the mentor-student relationship and started working together as equals this evening. I didn't expect it to last long, but it was a start. She didn't put up any arguments with me nor did she challenge my authority or experience, and I supported her and stepped back to allow her to take the lead at times. Perhaps the most surprising thing was how successful and natural that partnership felt. It often took years for guardian partners to begin working together so smoothly. Even my previous partnership with Guardian Radu hadn't been quite so simple. We were friendly, but working together needed near constant verbal communication and planning. Rose and I had worked together almost silently, only speaking when absolutely necessary.

I remembered my earlier fear that she could read my mind and involuntarily shivered at the thought. I still didn't like the idea that she could possibly know about some of the less appropriate things that have crossed my mind in the recent weeks, but I felt confident that wasn't the case now. If she could, then I'm certain that there would have been some sort of reaction from her; she might have been focused, but she was also a firecracker. No, this wasn't her reading my mind anymore than I could read her mind. This – these conversations that passed with a single glance – was simply a result of practicing together and getting to know one another. We were beginning to understand how the other worked. All the hours we have spent training was paying off in more ways that we initially thought they would. I never imagined having such a natural partnership with someone like Rose, but somehow it worked. If tonight was any indication, then our future together would be better than I could ask for from our profession.

Over an hour passed before Rose came out of the room. I had heard some muffled chatter early on, though I couldn't make out any of the conversation. It didn't last long before Vasilisa must have fallen asleep again. Now I was reading the battered paperback that always had a home in my duster, keeping part of my mind alert for any new or unusual sights or sounds coming our way. As soon as I saw Rose leaving, I set the story aside.

"Hey."

"Hey," her voice was heavy with the need for sleep, as were her eyes.

"How is she?"

"Sleeping for now. She's still shaken up, understandably, but at least she's getting some rest now. I just wish I knew how to fix this for good...to make all these horrible things stop."

"I understand. I also wish I knew exactly what to do, but this sort of thing is a bit unusual in our line of work." My words didn't seem to reassure her. "Don't worry though, we'll figure this out. We'll keep her safe." That earned a very small smile. It was a sad smile, but that was still better than nothing.

"Thanks. The nurse is sending me back now to get some sleep. I don't want to leave her alone, but I also don't want to get on Kirova's bad side again." She started walking past me towards the door.

Without thinking, I reached out and touched her arm to stop her. The tingle that ran through my finger tips didn't go unnoticed. It took me a moment to find my voice, and when I did, I looked up and saw Rose staring at my hand on her arm.

"I'm proud of you Rose. You did well tonight. Thank you for trusting me and coming to me for help. You are a good friend to Lissa, and I know you are going to be an amazing guardian as well."

For a second, her face seemed to become radiant under my praise. However, it only lasted a moment before it dulled into a look of...guilt? She pulled her arm out of my gentle grasp and began to rub her wrists and forearms absentmindedly while looking towards Lissa's room.

"Thank you Dimitri. I just wish..." she faded in her thought, sighing and biting her lip in frustration. Silence stood a moment longer before I spoke again.

"It's late...or early rather. Why don't we skip our morning practice so you can get some sleep. I'll stay with Lissa until she wakes up. I promise, I'll keep her safe."

She nodded and then began walking towards the exit again, bracing herself against the cold before stepping outside. She stepped out of view just before I noticed that she had left her sweatshirt with Lissa.


	14. Bloodwhore

In the morning, after I had accompanied Vasilisa to her dorm and then to breakfast where Rose would undoubtedly take over Lissa's care, I made my way back to my apartment to get ready for my own shift that day. I was working a split shift today, monitoring some of the morning classes, then taking one of the dorm patrol shifts later that evening. I was happy for the easier schedule today, since I also needed to finish some paperwork and I would benefit from some rest since I didn't get much sleep the night before.

I could see the whispering start early that morning. I was certain that people had heard about the second attack. That, plus the events during the Queen's visit, were more than enough to power the rumor mill today. Unfortunately, Vasilisa and (by extension) Rose were at the center of both stories. Eyes followed them though all their classes. I had thought that Rose's dhampir only combat courses would offer some relief, but even there I could see the sidelong glance and even some outright pointing.

It aggravated me that both girls were being subjected to such annoyance, but for the most part, Rose didn't seem to notice. I knew she was aware of the unwanted attention, but she was allowing it to roll off her shoulders. I could see here "check in" from time to time in Lissa's mind to make sure she was handling things alright, but other than that she seemed unconcerned with the chatter around her. She fought well against her classmates using some of the techniques I've shown her to defend and overpower larger opponents.

For a moment I felt proud. Not only for how well she picked up skills in training, but also for the way she had begun acting recently: composed and mature. She still had her moments, but the young woman I was watching now was vastly different from the one that I had to drag back to school only a couple months before. That Rose had been like a wildfire; a single spark could set her off before she burned anyone and anything in her path, without regard for the consequences. Now she resembled a controlled blaze. She still had the potential to be lethal, but she had now direction and purpose. She showed restraint when necessary and force when needed. I wouldn't exactly call her tame (she was far from it) but she was becoming someone to be regarded with respect and awe rather than fear and disdain.

While most of the classes I monitored were for the dhampir novices that day, my final class was for some of Moroi students. Lissa sat near the front of the class, dutifully taking notes and listening to the lecture. It was a class on Ancient Poetry and while I recognized some of the old Russian classics quoted, it was hardly something that captured my interest. I spent most of the class standing at attention in the back and getting lost in my own wandering thoughts. I did notice one thing that was particular. Somehow, there seemed to be less snickering surrounding Lissa after last nights events. Don't get me wrong, there still was plenty, but I would have thought it would be more obvious here. The Moroi students tended to be much more focused on school politics and the rumors that shaped them than the novices. Plus, while it seemed Rose and Lissa's names would always be connected to each other in one way or another, Lissa should have been the obvious focus, not Rose. It didn't faze me much though. I knew that Rose would prefer that Lissa be spared any unpleasant attention, and I would agree with her. Lissa was still fairly fragile, even if she was putting on a brave face today.

After the class ended, I silently followed Vasilisa to the cafeteria for the lunch hour. I was spaced a good distance at to not draw notice to either of us. While I hated the idea of not fully trusting the other guardians and staff on campus, the truth remained that we were no closer to finding the scoundrel from last night. I may not be able to watch Vasilisa every moment of every day, I did want to be there as often as I was able. I waited just inside the cafeteria doors until she met up with Rose, who I knew was more than capable of watching her for the afternoon. Then I walked towards the school guardian office to pick up the visitor logs from the past few weeks so I could take them back to my apartment and start looking into possible suspects.

After my own lunch, I was no closer to figuring out the mystery than I was that morning. No two visitors matched up. I knew it was a long shot, but I had been somewhat hopeful since it would be vastly easier to question five or so people than the entire population of campus. Once my mind reached its mental capacity for that subject – at least for the time being – I set the alarm on my phone and tried to take a short nap. I only had two hours or so before my practice with Rose, but despite my physical and mental fatigue, I found myself looking forward to her company.

Our training sessions had started becoming a sort of respite for us both. While her idle and often sarcastic chatter annoyed me to no end when we started our routine, it has now become a mutual banter that seems to pass the time and even relieve some of the stress of our busy schedules. We both seem to relax more during our training sessions than any other time. I still have a hard time calling Rose a friend, since I know that it sullied the strict mentor-student relationship that we were supposed to share, but it was also getting harder and harder to not admit that she was the closest thing I've had to a real friend since Ivan's death. I've had co-workers, peers, and acquaintances, but nobody I felt comfortable sharing anything more than the surface deep pleasantries with. Rose seemed to put me at ease and allowed me to open up more than I had in years. I actually enjoyed our conversations now.

But not today apparently.

Perhaps I should have noticed something was wrong when she arrived early, but it didn't really strike me that she was some how off her game until after our run and we had been practicing almost 15 minutes. She still had yet to say something beyond a single word reply to any question I had to offer. At first, I thought she might just be tired. She seemed fairly normal this morning, even if she was unusually focused. Now, she seems...distracted. I can see her putting more power than necessary into every hit, as if she is fighting for some sort of control. She had a similar reaction after the first attack. But it's somehow different too. She isn't trying to take her aggression out on me, but on herself. Her techniques are sloppy and causing her more pain.

"Rose! Keep your wrist straight. You're going to hurt yourself."

The only acknowledgment I received that she had heard me is a short hesitation before continuing the combination we are working on. Suddenly, she is hitting my hand target with near perfect technique. Not only did she fix her wrist, she also fixed almost every other weak point in her form. A red flag went off in my head...she's doing this on purpose.

I move on to some weight training in hopes that she wont hurt herself, but even there I notice herself pushing herself harder than she should. I know I should say something to her, but I don't know what I should say. Every time I ask her a question and try to get her to open up, she answers with a single syllable. If that isn't possible, then she simply ignores me and doesn't answer at all. After only 20 minutes at the weighs, I stop her for her own good. I'm tempted to simply release her for the afternoon... but I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that it's the last thing she needs. Instead, I decide to offer my own body as a punching bag. We spar.

Only once I'm fighting her can I start to see just how unstable she really is. I can literally feel her tension as I catch her in an arm lock. Taking her down is almost too easy today. Match after match, she hits the mat. Still, I see more release coming from this than anything else during practice so I silently allow her to simply attack me. All I do is brace myself against it.

With a feral growl, she goes for a kick that is more wild than she intended and before she make contact with me she is flat on the ground. She's taken out by her own imbalance. This time, she doesn't get up.

I watch her as she lays there unmoving for a minute. I'm about to check on her and see if she's done greater damage than I initially thought when she suddenly pounds the mat a few times. Finally, she sits up with her head resting in her hands, balanced on her bent knees.

As her breathing starts to steady, she looks up at me – for the first time all practice – and I'm frozen in shock at what I see. This isn't the protective and focused young novice from last night. This isn't the carefree young woman that I watch interact with her friends at the academy. This isn't even the angry wild child that I met in Portland. No... this is a broken girl. She's a deer caught in the headlights, scared and lost. For a second it looks like she's on the edge of a cliff, and I know I should reach out to her and pull her away...but I don't.

She looks away, stands up, and walks out of the gym without a word.

And I let her.

I'm still standing in place three minutes later before I finally gather my things and hit the locker room. My mind is still reeling as I stand in the shower. I'm still stunned as I finally make my way to the guardian lounge.

I'm trying to fill out some progress reports on our training sessions, but I'm unfocused. Luckily, there isn't much mental energy necessary for these types of reports. It still takes me much longer than necessary, but I have time before my next shift. Every few moments, my mind return to Rose and the look in her eyes. I know that it wasn't caused by the events of yesterday. Something else has happened, but I don't know what. I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I nearly jump when Alberta sits across from me.

"How is she?" She asks gently. I'm amazed that she can appear deadly or motherly, depending on her mood.

"Who? The Princess? She's still fairly fragile but I think she is holding up well under the circumstances." After yesterday, I'm certain that she is still worried about her. "The rumors seem to be circulating already, but there haven't been any direct threats."

"I'm not asking about Vasilisa." Her tone seems like this should be obvious, and it's clear that I'm missing something. "Rose...how is Rose?"

I furrow my brow and wonder what exactly she's asking about. I don't want to give too much away about her current state when I don't understand it myself. "She's...distracted after the rabbit incident. Otherwise her training is going well, better than I think any of us expected."

She give a frustrated sigh and I know that I've given the wrong answer again.

"Fine." I gather the papers in front of me and look at her straight on. I hate sharing Rose's unusual activity with anyone, but I trust Guardian Petrov and know that she cares about her as much as I do. Perhaps she can give me some insight. "She...acting strange. She isn't acting out really. She's quite but she looks like she just moments from the breaking point. I don't understand. She seemed fine this morning...but at our afternoon practice, it was like she wasn't there. I don't know what happened. I've never seen her like this."

Suddenly, there seems to be some form of understanding that flashes in Alberta's eyes. "You  _don't_  know...do you?"

"What? What do you know?

"Dimitri, there have been some...rumors...circulating around campus."

I'm sure the confusion is evident on my face. "About last night? Yesterday?"

"No."

"Then what? It's not the first time that Rose has been the focus of silly school rumors. They've never gotten to her before."

She looks down. "Not like this." I pause and she continues, "Somehow, someone found out about Rose and Vasilisa while they were on the run. About how Vasilisa...survived."

I hear my breath stop. By "survived" I know she means "fed." How...that report was supposed to be confidential, precisely for this reason.

"Unfortunately, that's not the end of it. After those rumors started circulating, some of the Moroi students decided to add to the story. The male Moroi students."

It suddenly clicks. "Who."

"Primarily, Jesse Zeklos and Ralf Sarcozy. There was a confrontation in Mr. Nagy's class but she walked away without violence."

I can feel the vein in my neck pulsing. My fists are clenched on the table. Even though I  _know_  that the rumors aren't true...this is what I was worried about. It doesn't matter if they are lying, once you have been branded a bloodwhore, you are always seen as one. She knows that. Suddenly the pain, the fear, the precipice of control that she was standing on...it all makes sense.

The rage that I felt that night in the lounge is back. I want to strangle the boys. But I can't.

"Dimitri." My focus snaps back to Alberta. "She needs someone she trusts. She needs someone to talk to. She needs you."

 _But I don't know what to say. How can I make this better?_ "Perhaps you would be better suited for this."

"I don't think so Guardian Belikov. I've known her her whole life, I think of her as a daughter of sorts, but you have a connection with her that I've never seen before. She responds to you. She needs her mentor."

We sit there a moment longer before I agree to the task with a quick nod. I still have no idea what I can say to her, but perhaps I can ease a little pain. My shift at the dhampir dorms is in a few minutes, but I quickly find Lissa before checking in.

"Princess. Do you know where Rose is?"

"No. I haven't seen her since our last class. She's upset. Really upset. My guess is that she's in her room."

I look around a moment before taking her hand. "Come with me."

I unlock the back stairwell and push her inside without anyone seeing. It's near curfew, too late to enter the Moroi dorms through the front entrance.

"Meet us on Rose's floor, but stay in the stairwell. I'll be there in just a moment." She nods at my instructions and starts heading up the stairs. I only have eight more minutes before my shift starts. I enter through the front entrance and race up the steps towards Rose's room.

I hesitate before knocking. I can hear here sniffing behind the privacy of the door. I take a deep breath and rap three times.

"One moment." Her voice cracks and my heart breaks. The door opens a moment later and I can see what she's been doing. Her nose is pink and her eyes are blood shot. Even her cheeks seem a bit raw from the salt in her tears. She's still in the clothing that she wore to practice. Her hair is a tangled mess. She's been crying for hours now.

All I want to do is pull her into my arms. I want to shut the door behind us and lock us away from the rest of the world. I want to hold her and tell her that everything will be okay. I want to stroke her hair and be her strength for a moment. I don't know why, but it's true. I want to be there for for her.

Maybe I would if I knew Lissa wasn't waiting for us, but she is.

"Are you okay?" I already know the answer. Of course she isn't. I've never seen her so upset. I'm familiar with girls crying; three sisters will provide plenty of experience. However, it's different with Rose. I know how hard she struggles to be strong. I know it is killing her to let me see her like this, let alone anyone else. Even now, shes trying to hide her face from me. A face that is too beautiful to be marred by tears.

"It doesn't matter if I am, remember?" She looks up at me and those horrid words that I said come rushing back to me.  _It doesn't matter how I feel, it doesn't matter how any of us feel._  But it does matter. It matters to me.

After a moment, she speaks again. "Is Lissa okay? This'll be hard on her."

I wince. Even after having her reputation questioned, mocked, torn apart and stepped on...she's worried about Lissa. I remember something else I said that night:  _Think about Lissa. You make yourself look cheap...and it reflects back on her...and me._ I know why she wouldn't look at me at practice. She's ashamed and feels like she let me down. I wish I could take back every harsh word I said that night. I can't stand that part of her pain is because of me.

Still, I can see that she's genuinely worried about Vasilisa – as much, if not more so than, herself. I may have made several mistakes, but I've at least done one thing right. "Come on."

She follows without question, but crosses her arms in front of her like a shield.

I unlock the back stairwell and gently push her through the door with a simple warning, "five minutes." She looks confuse but relaxes when she sees Lissa and throws her arms around her best friend. I shut the door.

While I stand guard over their hiding place, I put my radio on and check in for the start of my shift. After a few moments longer I give a soft knock and stick my head in to interrupt their conversation. "You've got to get back inside, Rose, before someone finds you. Lissa, do you think you can make it back to your dorm alright? Would you like me to call an escort?"

Lissa turns to me for a second. "No, don't worry about it Guardian Belikov. I'll be okay." She looks at Rose before retreating down the stairs. "I'll take care of everything this time, Rose. Everything."

Rose seems a little better than she did earlier, even if she still looks worried. My hand is on her shoulder as I walk her back to her room. When we reach her door, she looks at me with thanks, though I can still see some sadness in her eyes.

I resist the urge to give her a hug, instead opening her door for her. Just before she shuts it behind her...she smiles. That smile was worth breaking the rules for.

I spend the the next handful of hours patrolling the novice dorms, and I know I spend much more time than I should on the fourth floor of the female section. Each time I pass her room, I press my ear to the door to check on her. The first few times, I can hear some tears being shed. Finally, on my fifth circuit, her room is quiet. She's fallen asleep and I give a quick prayer that she finds some peace in her dreams tonight.


	15. Of Hands and Hearts

The next week or so was torture...for us both. Rose silently suffered the aftermath of the rumors. She put on a brave face most of the time, but I was able to see through the thin veil. She was hesitant to meet anyone's eyes, pulling away from any unnecessary social interaction. If she didn't need to be somewhere in particular on campus, she would retreat to her room. Within days, I started to notice less energy about her. The dark circles under her eyes grew to the point where she couldn't hide it with make-up. She wasn't sleeping well. She also seemed to grow thinner and when I saw her in the cafeteria, she would hardly eat anything at all. For someone who typically had no shame in out-eating her male peers, this was quite unusual...almost frighting. While she attempted to smile for her friends, it was a weak show. Nothing could hide the tears that seemed to be on the verge of falling at any moment. She held them back though...at least in public. Unintentionally, I made a habit of passing by her dorm room to check on her before my late evening shifts and more often than not I could hear her quietly crying behind the privacy of her door.

I kept hoping that one of her friends would speak to her, comfort her. Surely Vasilisa noticed her unraveling before our eyes. But no, if anything she seemed to be pulling away from Rose. I saw her in the company of other Moroi royals too often to count, laughing and seemingly unaware of the pain that caused her friend's misery. Suddenly, Lissa was becoming the center of the young royal society on campus. While Rose did her best to hide from the world, Vasilisa was moving through it with ease... as if she was now unburdened by the tarnished reputation of her best friend. I couldn't understand how or why she was acting this way, but it was hard for me to dwell on it without feeling my own frustration and tension build.

Even Mason gave her space. The boy wore his heart on his sleeves and I was able to see a montage of emotion play every time he looked at her. Hurt, jealousy, betrayal, pity, longing, anger, sadness, and more. Occasionally he seemed like he wanted to reach out to her, and once he did, but all he received for his efforts was a sharp word of anger. After that, he simply watched her...just like I did.

I still didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to make it worse, but I didn't know how to make it better either. I just tried for the middle ground...normalcy. We kept to our usual training schedule, never discussing the circulating rumors. While it wasn't much, it did seem to bring a little more life to Rose, something that she seemed to miss the rest of the day. I continued to run with her, to condition and spar with her. Occasionally, I earned a knowing glare when my sympathy got the best of me and I went easier than normal on her, but overall we did out best to pretend that nothing had happened.

One particular morning, I decided to try something new with her. It was one of my favorite offensive exercises from my academy days. I would allow her to use any makeshift weapon she could find to defend and attack with. It was late fall now, nearly winter; frost made a showing every day but the occasional snow dusting that we did have never stuck around very long. Today, the ground was clear and we were working outside.

While she rotated through a few different improvised weapons, she seemed to favor a pair of two foot long branches. I didn't blame her preference, since they seemed to resemble the yantok weapons of the Filipino martial arts called Kali or Eskrima. She had practiced with those before so these would be somewhat familiar. She fought passionately, occasionally slipping from the grounded determination that I encouraged towards a more blind rage caused by her current stress. I worked hard to snap her back towards her proper training, but as the session wore on she became more and more unfocused. I finally called a break and we gathered what little equipment we had used so we could return it to storage near the gym.

"Your hands!" We were almost done putting the supplies away when I finally saw them, and the sight was enough to shock a response from me. They were red, raw, chapped, and even bleeding in certain areas. We had been practicing outside for weeks, but I had never noticed them steadily incurring more and more damage from the cold. I quietly cursed, thankful again that she didn't understand my native tongue, since I could honestly rival her language if I didn't check myself. "Where are your gloves?"

She looked at her own hands with a strange confused expression...as if this was the first time she had ever seen them. She turned them back and forth in front of her before answering me, "Don't have any. Never needed them in Portland."

I shook my head, swearing again under my breath before sitting her in a near by chair and retrieving the well stocked first aid kit. With so many injuries in the gym, there were several near by and all of them were refilled monthly, if not weekly. I also grabbed one of the spare gym towels, wetting it with some warm water before I returned to her side. I tried to gently wipe away the blood, silently berating myself for never seeing the physical damage that she had sustained while I was so focus on her mental suffering. "We'll get you some." It wasn't much of a repentance for my failure, but I could at least make sure this didn't happen again.

She only nodded in reply, seemingly lost in thought as she watched my ministrations. "This is only the start, isn't it?"

She sounded quiet and far away, I wasn't sure I had even heard her correctly. "Of what?"

"Me. Turning into Alberta. Her...and all the other female guardians. They're all leathery and stuff." She let out a small half-hearted laugh. "Fighting and training and always being outdoors – they aren't pretty any more." I stopped and looked up at her as she continued, "This...this life. It destroys them. Their looks, I mean."

She looked away from me, shaking her head as if she was trying to rid herself of something so silly as youthful vanity, even though I could tell that she really did find the idea upsetting.

As for me, all I could do was stare in wonder. How could she think that anything would disfigure her beauty? She was stunning, and I couldn't imagine anything changing that. Even tired, sore, and bleeding, she held the power to captivate me and any other male on this campus. If she really put effort into it, we were at her mercy. Her hair flowed like silk, nearly black but holding a rainbow of color when reflected in the light. Her eye were as dark as chocolate yet still seemed to shine, especially when she smiled. That smile...that alone was enough to bring men to their knees. All of this and I hadn't even started to mention her body; gentle yet powerful, toned from years of training yet soft from her natural femininity. I had only a glimpse and it was enough to haunt my dreams.

"It wont happen to you. You're too..." I had started speaking without thinking. I had only begun to admit to myself that I found her attractive...no, beautiful. I couldn't admit it to her. I couldn't admit it to anyone else. She was my student. I was her mentor. I was seven years older than her and she wasn't even considered an adult yet. My fascination with her was wrong on so many levels. I looked down to finish tending to her wounds, ashamed of how quickly my mind focused on her physical attributes.

"It won't happen to you." I longed to tell her so much more, but I hoped that this would be sufficient to calm her needless worry.

An awkward silence settles over my unspoken words before she nervously breaks it again. "It happened to my mom. She used to be beautiful. I guess she still is, sort of. But not the way she used to be."

My mind flashes back to the one time I had met Guardian Janine Hathaway, only a year or two after my own graduation. Her Scottish roots showed in her cropped, red, curly hair. She is one of the shortest Guardian's I've met, only standing about 5'3. Still, her presence makes her seem much larger. She is strict and commanding, and after 30 seconds you will never make the mistake of underestimating her again. Her reputation proceeds her. Her dedication to her charge is well known and she is well admired. Rose may not resemble her mother in appearance, but I'm sure the two have much more in common than they know as far as their personalities are concerned.

So the bitterness in her next words stunned me for a moment. "I haven't seen her in a while. She could look completely different for all I know."

"You don't like your mother," I meant it as a question, but it came out like a statement. It was hard to find any other option after seeing the resentment in Rose's countenance.

She rolls her eyes and gives a sarcastic laugh. "You noticed that, huh?"

"You barely know her."

"That's the point. She abandoned me. She left me to be raised by the Academy."

I had finished cleaning her hands of the blood and dirt from practice, and moved on to rubbing some salve into the rougher parts of her hand that had been worn by the wind and cold. I was lost it the feeling of her skin as much as my own thoughts.

It wasn't unheard of for students to become wards of the Academy, at least for novices. Typically, this only happened if a novice student lost their dhampir parent in battle with no other family to claim them and the Moroi parent was either unknown or unwilling to recognize the child as their own. Vasilisa was technically a ward of the Academy since she had been orphaned by the car accident, but her situation was different than most because of a significant trust fund and old family friends who advocated for her care. Most Academy wards had nothing. Rose was another exception. Her file stated that her mother had renounced legal custody of Rose when she was just four years old, placing her in the Academy's care. Janine was welcomed to visit, and I'm sure that they would even allow her to take Rose for the breaks if she requested it, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It seems like it had been a while since the two had last seen each other. Certainly not during the girl's absence, and I knew she hadn't made an appearance at the Academy since their return. There was a very good chance that I had seen Guardian Hathaway more recently than Rose had. As much as I felt my own resentment at the thought of a parent willingly ignoring a child, I knew I should advocate for some sort of relationship between them.

"You say that...but what else should she have done?" this argument was so weak that even I couldn't believe my own words. "I know you want to be a guardian. I know how much it means to you. Do you think she feels any differently? Do you think she should have quit to raise you when you'd spend most of your life here anyway?" But I knew that wasn't the only other option. There were more than a few successful guardians that were able to keep a strong professional reputation and family ties.

"Are you saying I'm a hypocrite?" Her eyes shown with disbelieving shock that I was standing up for her mother. I didn't blame her one bit.

"I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her. She's a very respected dhampir woman. She set you on the path to be the same."

"It wouldn't kill her to visit more." I couldn't agree with her more. "but I guess you're right. A little. It could have been worse, I suppose. I could have been raised with blood whores."

I smirked at her comment. "I was raised in a dhampir commune. They aren't as bad as you think."

I knew she hadn't been intentionally trying to insult my home and family, she was simply trying to console herself. I couldn't blame her for that. I had been the at the sharp end of ridicule due to my childhood for so long, comment like these simply rolled off my shoulders now.

"Oh," I might have been able to brush her comment off, but she looked practically horrified now. "I didn't mean -"

"It's alright." I focused back on her hands to give a moment to compose herself again.

"So, did you, like, have family there? Grow up with them?" Her awe and wonder as something so basic and simple as having as growing up loved with a family was enough to tug at my heart. For a moment, all I could do was nod in reply.

"My mother, grandmother, and three sisters. I didn't see them much after I graduated, but we still keep in touch."  _I really need to call them again, it's been weeks._  "Mostly the communities are about family. There's a lot of love there, no matter what stories you've heard."

She hid her face from me again as a hint of bitterness returned to her features. It didn't take much to guess what she was brooding on. The only consolation for her sad lot in life had just gone up in smoke. My childhood was filled with more love and happy moments in a disgraces and often mocked family situation than hers had been with an honored and respected mother. She wasn't mad at me, she was mad at what fate had dealt her.

"Yeah, but...isn't it weird? Aren't there a lot of Moroi men visiting to, you know?..." She trailed off, not knowing how to finish her question. If there was ever a skill called hesitant bluntness, Rose just mastered it.

My amusement with her fumbling was just enough to head of the rising tide of anger at some old memories. "Sometimes," I scoffed.

"I – I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something bad..."

"Actually...you probably wouldn't think it's bad." While society wanted to tell me that I shouldn't feel pride for my youthful vigilantism for what I saw as a great injustice, something assured me that Rose would be more than understanding. "You don't know your father, do you?"

She shook her head, slightly confused as to where I was going with this, "No." With a glint her her eye, she continued, "All I know is that he must have wicked cool hair." Just to make her point across, she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Momentarily entranced, my mouth moved faster than my mind, "Yes. He must have." I came to my senses and quickly looked away. I tried to regain some dignity after my lapse and back tracked. "I knew mine."

"Really? Most Moroi guys don't stay – I mean, some do, but you know, usually they just..."

"Well, he liked my mother." Honestly 'liked' was far from the right word. "And he visited her a lot. He's the father of my sisters as well. But when he came...well, he didn't treat my mother very well. He did some horrible things."

"Like..." she bit her lip in hesitation. I could see she was balancing her desire for clarification with the fact that she was broaching a tender subject. The former won out in the end. "Blood-whore things?"

"Like beating-her-up kind of things."  _Though_ , I mentally finished,  _I wouldn't be surprised if he tried that also_.

I had finished administering to her hands a few minutes ago, but I was still cradling them in my own. Talking about something so personal and upsetting, it felt right to allow myself this small pleasure. Even through the cloth bandages, I could feel the warmth and electricity flowing between us. I wondered if she felt it also.

"Oh God, that's horrible." Her hands gently wound around mine, not just providing comfort but making my heart skip a beat. I couldn't help but tighten my own grip in response. "And she...she just let it happen?"

"She did..." flashes of every bruise, every broken bone, every time she tried to hide the scars (both mental and physical) from us. The last incident, the one that sparked my retribution, was particularly vivid. I had watched from the stairs, mostly hidden by the partition wall. She was crying as quietly as she could so she wouldn't wake us upstairs, huddled in the corner as she cowered, bloody and beaten, before the man that called himself my father. He was drunk again, standing before her with his looped belt pulled back in his clenched fist. How anyone could mistake such a scene for love was beyond me. Yet it happened almost ever time he visited and she still welcomed him with open arms each time he knocked on our door. Yes, she let it happen, "...but I didn't."

She gripped my hands firmly between her own, leaning towards me with excitement. "Tell me,  _tell me_  you beat the crap out of him."

There was no holding back my smile, fueled by both my own pride and her enthusiasm. "I did."

"Wow." She looked floored by my admission and I knew that I had just earned a significant amount of respect in her eyes. It was almost as rewarding as saving my family from that horrid tyrant so long ago. "You beat up your dad. I mean, that's really horrible...what happened. But,  _wow_. You really are a god."

I was so lost is the feeling of her approval that I was certain that I had misheard her last words. "What?"

"Uh, nothing. How old were you?"

I could tell she was trying to change the subject, but I allowed it since she couldn't have truly called me a god...right? "Thirteen"

Her jaw actually dropped. "You beat up your dad when you were  _thirteen_?"

"It wasn't that hard," I replied as if I was vainly brushing off the obvious admiration.  _Why the hell am I acting like a love sick boy showing off to his crush?_ I tried to appear like the respected guardian that I actually was. "I was was stronger than he was, almost as tall too. I couldn't let him keep doing that. He had to learn that being royal and Moroi doesn't mean you can do anything you want to other people – even blood whores."

She paused, letting my words sink in. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," and truly it was. My home life became much better after we stopped living in constant fear of my father.

"That's why you got so upset about Jesse, isn't it? He was another royal, trying to take advantage of a dhampir girl."

My breath felt heavy in my chest. Yes, that was part of the reason why I was so upset. I didn't want to see her end up like my mother, like so many other dhampir girls I've known. She was too good for such a fate. But somehow, it was more personal than that. I felt responsible for her, not just as a mentor, not even just as a friend, but as something more...something that I was scared to really identify. My own thoughts were jumbled as I tried to explain my actions that night. "I got upset over that for a lot of reasons. After all, you were breaking the rules, and..." I stopped. The excuses seemed pitiful, even to myself. While they may have been somehow true, they didn't come close to the real reason... the one that even I couldn't figure out myself.

So instead we simply stared at each other, fingers laced together between us as we silently spoke unknown words. Time seemed frozen until the small frown appeared on her face and she looked down at her feet.

Her words were barely a whisper. "I know you heard what people are saying, that I -"

"I know that's not true." I cut her off, grateful to finally offer some small assurance in the midst of the questioning stares she's been living with for days.

She questioned my certainty though, "Yeah, but how you -"

"Because I know you," I replied firmly, pulling her hands a little closer to me. "I know your character. I know you're going to be a great guardian."

For once, the tears that lined her eyes weren't of shame or pain, but of relief. I once again fought the overwhelming urge to kiss her, but luckily she spoke before I lost the battle. "I'm glad someone does. Everyone else things I'm totally irresponsible."

Unfortunately, she wasn't completely wrong. There were plenty of people on campus who were counting her out or even betting against her. But those of us who had the pleasure of actually knowing Rose knew that they couldn't be more wrong. I was sure that one day she would be respected as much, if not more so, than her own mother.

"With the way you worry more about Lissa than yourself...No. You understand your responsibilities better than guardians twice your age. You'll do what you have to do to succeed."

Her smile told me that she had appreciated my words, but the smirk said that she couldn't help a flippant reply. "Well, I don't know if I can do everything I have to do."

I had no idea what she was talking about so I just cocked an eyebrow in question.

"I don't want to cut my hair."

It was such an odd comment that I would have laughed if I couldn't tell that she was serious, at least on some level. "You don't have to cut your hair. It's not required." If that was the case, I would have been reprimanded long ago.

"All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos."

She was right of course. Most women did wear their hair shorter so that their marks would be visible at all times. Even some of the older novices were adopting the same sort of styles. But I couldn't imagine my Roza's locks being sacrificed for something as inconsequential as the opportunity to parade her kills in public. I reached out to touch a precious strand that had fallen during practice and now rested on her cheek, smiling as I twisted it and felt the silk threads between my thumb and forefinger. Moments later, I noticed her blush under my hand and realized just what I had done. I pulled away and stood, surprised at my brazenness but somewhat thrilled that I could elicit such a reaction out of her.

"Don't cut it."

She stuttered for a moment before remembering how to speak. "But no one will see my tattoos if I don't."

Once again, I couldn't help the grin on my lips. I walked towards the gym door, picking my bag up to leave before turning back towards her. "Wear it up."


	16. Secrets Discovered

After our conversation, Rose seemed to be doing much better. She still was a bit quite and reserved during her classes, and still seemed somewhat nervous at times, but she was back to eating and sleeping like normal.

Even our training sessions were back to their regular routine, something that I had mixed feeling about. I knew that I should only focus on her training, but every so often I felt that now familiar spark of contact when I blocked one of her moves. I felt the desire to steal something more than the victory if I pinned her in a match. Opening up to her, and being there to support her in return felt so comfortable. More so than I ever thought it would. More than I still thought it should. But, more than anything, I couldn't forget that blush. The image seemed to be at the forefront of my mind, no matter how often I tried to push it away. During training, at church, on patrol, and almost every night before falling asleep.

 _What could it mean?_  That's the question that haunted me.  _Nothing. It probably meant nothing._  I had been completely out of line. Touching her hair, lingering and holding her hands far longer than I should have. She had probably been embarrassed by forwardness. That's what I tried to tell myself, but it didn't feel right. The way that she looked at me was...different. It made me feel different.

I had never really been one to worry about the attention of girls. At school, I had gone on a few dates at Ivan's insistence and had a girlfriend for a short time before graduation. Even after school, none of my relationships ever lasted that long; a few months at most and typically only a date or two. Nor did these relationships ever delved that deep. Sure, there was always some type of compatibility that formed the initial connection and some sort of physical attraction, but even my most serious romantic tryst was short lived and fairly superficial. They were more for convince than companionship. The few relationships that required an official parting of ways were amicable and mutual, and for the most part we never crossed paths again.

Rose was something else though. Her smile made my heart race more than my first kiss. I wanted to share more with her than I had ever truly wanted to with a girlfriend. I wanted to know more about her in return. I couldn't tell you where most of the women I had once dated were now – heck, I couldn't remember some of their names! – but I couldn't image my life where Rose wasn't somehow tied to it. As much as I tried to tell myself that having her as a student, a guardian partner, or even a friend was enough...I couldn't quite convince myself.

There were moments where I thought she might have felt the same about me. While half of me wondered if it was some strange masochistic hope on my part, the other half remembered her breathlessly pinned beneath me the first time I felt the desire to kiss her. Or how she opened up to me in ways that I had never seen her open up to other, save for Vasilisa perhaps. Not to mention the particular smile that I saw occasionally grace her face, the smile that I had never seen her give anyone else. And that blush...oh, how that blush and its meaning haunted me.

* * *

I had just finished patrolling the grounds and was making my way towards the gym to meet with Rose for our scheduled practice when I heard a group of voices. Typically, I blocked out the students' conversations, but her name caught my attention. With rumors still circulating around campus, I tried to stay at least somewhat aware of what people were saying about my student.

"How's it been going, Rose? You getting lonely? Want some company?" The voice was male, and the taunting tone left me with little doubt about what he was referring to.

Most of the blood-whore rumors were dying down. Strangely, it was happening much quicker than I expected. It seems like most people now realized that Jesse and Ralf were lying. Even more odd was the fact that people knew that the situation between Rose and Lissa  _was_  real, but they were accepting and just saw it as necessary at the time. Still, it seemed like some people weren't as quick to let things go.

Another male voice laughed then joined in, even more brash than the other. "I can't bite you, but I can give you something else you want."

Novices then. I started making my way towards the voices, hoping to break things up before a fight broke out because I knew Rose would have none of the hesitation in hitting them as opposed to a Moroi student. I was still out of sight when I heard her voice for the first time. Her words stopped me in my tracks.

"Get your hands off my ass before I break your face!"

Teasing and taunting was one thing, but physically harassing her? No, I was not going to let that slide. I had just stepped around the wall to see one on the senior novices pulling Rose by the hips until she was pressed against him in a very inappropriate (and from the looks of it, non-consensual) way. He held her tight as she struggled against him.

"Come on," he hissed, "I thought you didn't have a problem taking on two guys at the same time."

I saw red. I may not have the authority to beat Jesse Zeklos to a bloody pulp, but I could certainly make these novices feel the pain of my wrath under the guise of training. And I wasn't above giving them a taste of it now either. I was about to step forward and get their attention when a third male voice broke through.

"If you guys don't walk away right now, I'll take both of you on."

I may not have been able to see him, but I recognized the voice instantly.

"You're so full of it, Ashford." One of the tormentors, the one without his hands on Rose, squared off against Mason. The other boy finally released Rose with a small push and watched the impending fight with interest.

"Are you doing her too? You don't want to share?" The larger boy was only a foot or two away from Mason, now in full view.

"Say one more word about her, and I'll rip your head off." Mason seemed just as livid as I was. I'd seen him fight more than once in class and knew that he was one of the more talented students. If it came to blows, there would be no doubt who would win.

The other idiot simply rolled his eyes and carried on. "Why? She's just a cheap blood-"

Mason hit him before the boy could finish the sentence. It was strong enough to hurt and leave him with a black eye tomorrow, but I could tell that Mason's blood lust over the situation wasn't even close to sated. Both of the other boys were ready to join the fray. I was tempted to let Mason get a few more hits on them before stepping in, until I saw that Rose was also tensed and ready to fight. If she was cited in the altercation, then it would be hard keep her from expulsion.

Thinking quickly, I stepped behind the wall again to open and slam the small door just out of sight. The noise was enough to get the group's attention and stop the brawl before it progressed any further.

"Probably some guardians coming." I could practically hear the victorious grin on Mason's face. "You want them to know you were beating up on a girl?" Poor boy, his heroic gesture towards Rose would probably backfire because of that comment.

"Come on. Let's go. We don't have time for this." I could hear the other boys' footsteps walking away from the fight and directly towards me. Oh, this could be fun.

As soon as they saw me, I shot them a glare that silently promised pain and retribution for everything I just witnessed. I was long past vocal threats, especially when their own imagination could invent much more vivid horrors than I could...legally...fulfill. Their eyes widened as my intentions became known, and then they ran faster than I'm sure they ever had before.

I stayed hidden behind the wall, listening to the new conversation between Rose and her protector.

"I didn't need your help." Rose was defensive, but I could hear some uncertainty underneath her words. I wasn't the only one who could.

"Sure. You were doing just fine on your own." His statement was ripe with sarcasm, making Rose even more upset.

"They caught me off guard, that's all! I could have dealt with them eventually." She didn't realize that I would have stepped in if Mason hadn't. If anything, it was better that Mason showed up before me. I would have left them with a few more obvious marks.

I heard a deep sigh. "Look, don't take being pissed off at them out on me."

"I just don't like being treated like..." Rose hesitated, her voice softening with his gentle scolding, "...a girl."

Mason laughed as I tried to stifle my own chuckle. Neither of us meant any condescension, but her worry was borderline ridiculous. We both knew full and well that she wasn't helpless, but that didn't mean that either of us were going to step aside when she was in trouble. Chivalry wasn't completely dead.

"You  _are_  a girl. And I was just trying to help." Mason's voice was earnest, and I think his sincerity was the only thing the kept her temper from flaring up again. And I wasn't even sure that was enough until she spoke up again.

"Well...thanks. Sorry I snapped at you."

I should have left then. I knew that things were fine now, and I knew that I would be seeing Rose at training in a few minutes. But I didn't. I stayed there, hidden like a creep and eavesdropped on their conversion. Slowly, their idle chatter morphed into something else: something flirtatious. It wasn't completely surprising from Mason. His harmless, friendly, flirtatious nature was pretty par for the course. It was clear that he adored her. Occasionally Rose played along, though nothing ever came from it. This time however...

"You know, I still don't approve of your whole hero thing, but you did scare them. That was almost worth it."

I slyly peeked at them. Perhaps it should be a bit concerning that I was able to spy for so long on these two nearly-graduated novices without them noticing, but they weren't exactly expecting an audience and I was a bit better than average when it came to stealth and surveillance.

"But you don't approve?" Mason was practically beaming from Rose's attention. I didn't blame him one bit, but I was somewhat annoyed to see her standing so close to him.

She smiled and gently started trailing her fingers up his arm. We both flinched. Him out of pleasant surprise, me out of a sharp inner pain. "No. I mean, it's hot in principle, but not in practice."

"The hell it isn't!" He laughed, then pulled her closer. This time, she willingly stepped into his embrace. "Sometimes you need to be saved. I think you like being saved sometimes and you just can't admit it."

"And I think  _you_  get off on saving people and just can't admit it." Her voice was playful, suggestively teasing even. Suddenly, it felt like I was intruding on a very private moment between them and I pulled away when I started to see Mason lean towards her. I started heading towards the gym, but not before hearing Mason's reply.

"Oh, I don't think you know what gets me off..." I didn't care to stick around and hear the rest.

* * *

When Rose arrived at the gym later, our practice was quiet. She attempted to start a few conversations, but simply shrugged and got to work when I wasn't receptive.

I was almost offended by how nonchalant she was acting, as if nothing had happened just a short while ago. I expected her to say something to me at one point. She usually talked to me about almost anything, but today she didn't say a single thing about Mason or the other novice boys harassing her. And I couldn't bring it up without her knowing that I had witnessed everything, which would undoubtedly start an argument.

Why should it even matter to me this much? Sure, I could help her out with the harassment, but only if she let me know about the issues she was facing. If I was honest with myself however, that wasn't the thing that really had me upset. It was her flirtation with Mason that I couldn't get off my mind.

I should be happy for her...but I wasn't.

Mason was a decent young man. He may not be as skilled and dedicated as Rose, but he was still fairly talented and focused in his training. He not only adored Rose, but respected her as well. He has known her for years and stood by her in the past with every indication that he would continue to support her in the future.

Dating Mason would offer some of the simple experiences of a normal seventeen year old life that I know she craves. If Rose decided to pursue a relationship with him, then I shouldn't care unless it interfered with her performance in our sessions. The relationship probably wouldn't last long, especially after graduation, but why couldn't she enjoy the last moments of her youthful freedom now before entering the next phase of her life? Why shouldn't she be able to experience the little pleasures of romance?

I wanted that for her...I just wanted to be able to offer it to her myself.

The realization struck me like a sack of bricks. Over the past few weeks I had thought about her, even dreamed about her, but I had never allowed myself to believe that there was anything actually there. But since our conversation a few days ago, since I saw her blush at my affectionate gesture, I had allowed myself to hope that perhaps she felt something towards me as well. Something besides the respect and admiration for a mentor. Something more. Against my better judgement, I had started harboring feelings for Rose. It was already coming back to bite me.

I was foolish to think I had anything to offer her outside of her guardian training. I was significantly older than her and practically a teacher as far as she was concerned. Even if she did feel anything, it was nothing more than a silly crush. I couldn't ask her to dinner, much less take her to one of the ridiculous dances that the students were starting to get excited for. We were in different phases in life and we wanted different things. I just needed to remember that and allow her to be the carefree teenage girl that she was, at least for a little while longer.

After a long and rather quiet training session, I released Rose for the evening and we both made our way out of the gym more confused then when we had started. I was planning on spending the rest of my evening with nothing more than the company of a good book to escape to for a little while.

* * *

Luckily, the next morning's practice was a whole lot less awkward. Rose still didn't mention any of the events of the previous day, but I did my best to keep up some polite conversation rather than ignoring her like I had the evening before. I cut our session a bit early so I could get ready for my morning classroom shift. I was barely out the door before I heard my name being called.

"Guardian Belikov!"

I turned to see Vasilisa practically skipping towards me, obviously in a good mood. The grin on her face was practically infectious, but I swallowed the expression into my guardian mask and turned to face her. "How can I help you, Princess?"

"Please, call me Lissa. I've told you a million times now." Her words were playfully chastising. "Anyways, I wanted to talk to you. Uncle Victor is planning on taking Natalie to go do a bit of shopping in Missoula and invited me along as well. I know that means you would have to go also, being my Guardian and all, and I wanted to see if that would be okay."

As much as I hated the idea of driving several hours for a shopping trip, she deserved to get away from this place for a little while. Honestly, I wouldn't mind the opportunity to escape for a bit either. Even if I didn't, I wasn't really in the position to say no. Guarding the Dragomir Princess was my primary position, and any shifts at the Academy could be rearranged as needed to fulfill that duty.

"Of course, Lissa. Please let me know when the trip is and I'll be happy to accompany you."

"Great! Thank you! But I have one more favor to ask. Uncle Victor said I could bring a friend or two, and I was really hoping that Rose could join us."

I sighed a little, knowing that I couldn't offer the answer she wanted. "I'm sure she would love to go, but with Rose's probation, I'm not sure that's possible." As much as I knew Vasilisa would enjoy the break that a shopping trip would provide, Rose needed it as well. Unfortunately, that wasn't really an option.

"I know, she's kinda on lock down with the probation, but I thought I might ask Headmistress Kirova anyway. Plus with both of us going, perhaps you could pass it off as some sort of 'real world experience' thing. She is supposed to be my second guardian after graduation, and you are her mentor. Perhaps this could be part of your training sessions."

Lissa was confident, looking up to meet my eyes and speaking as if her plan was the most reasonable thing in the world...and honestly, it was. I hadn't thought about it before, since most students never had the opportunity to practice their skills outside the Academy gates before graduation, but it was a great opportunity for her. She would be able to practice some of the body guard theories we had been reviewing the past few months. There really was no harm in asking, especially if I could use our training as an excuse.

"That sounds like a great idea. I have a meeting with the Headmistress later today and I'd be happy to ask her."

"Thank you Guardian Belikov. I'm heading over there now so I'll talk to her as well."

I may not be able to offer Rose everything she deserves, but I could offer a day away from here to have a little fun with her friends. For now, that was good enough.

By the time I spoke to the Headmistress a few hours later, the matter was settled. Perhaps Vasilisa's argument was more compelling than I gave her credit for. I barely had to mention the training opportunity before she agreed to let Rose accompany us. The trip was set for that weekend.


	17. Breaking Free

The weekend came quickly, and it seemed like the impending trip overshadowed the other events of the week for all the girls who would be attending. Even Rose, who had only found out about her permission to go the day before, was excited enough to momentarily forget another "prank" on Vasilisa that involved a dead dove in her backpack. I was concerned about how close this prankster seemed to be getting to my charge without notice, but it was hard to focus on that too long when both girls seemed so carefree for the time being.

I was hesitant to bring up the fact that Rose would be technically training during the excursion, so I waited until the day of to bring it up. Trips outside of the wards and into the human world always altered our schedules. To get to the mall during hours of operation, we would be leaving campus late in our evening as the sun started to rise. We wouldn't return until well after curfew. While this would leave us all a bit tired, it did have the added benefit of making a Strigoi attack much less likely. At our morning training, I had encouraged Rose to wear comfortable clothing for the evening and canceled out afternoon practice so we could both hopefully get a little rest before leaving.

When it was time to meet at the vans near the gate, I was happy to see that Rose had followed my advice. Her casual clothing was more than appropriate for fighting if needed, and she even had her hair up. She was walking with Lissa, but the two girls broke apart as Lissa went to greet her other friends and I waved Rose over towards me and a few of the other guardians who were confirming last minute details.

"Headmistress Kirova thinks you've done well since coming back..." I started before she interrupted me.

"Aside from starting a fight in Mr. Nagy's class?"

"She doesn't blame you for that." I paused, reconsidering my reassurance before correcting the statement. "Not entirely." Rose smiled and held back a laugh, knowing as well as I did that she received more than her fair share of blame for that and almost any other incident on campus. It didn't matter if she was involved or not. "I convinced her you needed a break...and that you could use this as a training exercise."

Her smile dropped momentarily. It was obvious that she didn't consider the thought of a "training exercise" to be in line with "needing a break."

I tried to explain how we would be working this evening as everyone piled into the vans. "We have nine people on the outing today. There are four Moroi," I stated, gesturing to Prince Victor, Vasilisa, Natalie and Camille, "as well as five guardians, including you and I." Her grin grew when I included her in the number of guardians rather than singling her out as an unpromised novice. I took a moment to introduce her to Victor's personal guardians, Ben and Spiridon.

Ben was close in age to Stan (who was also joining our party) and was one of those incredibly dedicated guardians who rarely spoke to anyone and seemed to intimidate you simply by standing near by. At one point, I might have been on the path to the same type of description, but working at the school had made me a bit more open, especially over the past few months.

His guardian partner, Spiridon, was his complete contrast. He was both talkative and friendly. The same age as myself, twenty four, he actually seemed to be a walking contradiction. His name was traditional Greek, but he was raised in the Southern United States and spoke with a thick country accent. His appearance hinted at neither of these traits though. I had met him a few times before when Victor came to visit, and while he put up a professional front while working, he would occasionally pull small pranks in the guardian's lounge. Stan was a favorite target, I noticed. On the last visit, I heard that the confrontation nearly came to blows. He suggested encasing Stan's stake in Jello as retribution, but luckily Yuri talked him out of that one. It might have resulted in someone's death.

Stan drove with Ben in the passenger seat, the Moroi taking the two middle rows, and Spiridon, Rose and myself taking the last row. As we pulled out of the Academy gates, I continued my explanation from earlier. "Camille and Natalie don't have personal guardians yet. They're both under the protection of their families' guardians. Since they are Academy students leaving campus, a school guardian accompanies them – Stan." I made a gesture in his direction before starting again. "I'm going because I'm Lissa's assigned guardian. Most girls her age wouldn't have a personal guardian yet, but circumstances make her unusual."

Rose nodded, listening to my words as she glanced at the rest of the group. "She's supposed to have two guardians. Princes and Princesses always do."

Spiridon spoke up before I could. "Don't worry, she'll have plenty when the time comes. Dimitri's already one of them. Odds are you'll be one too. And that's why you are here today."

She looked back towards us with a questioning glance, "The training part?"

"Yep!" Spiridon spoke a bit too eagerly, looking between us with a grin that was much too bright for my liking. "You're going to be Dimitri's partner."

An awkward silence fell as mine and Rose's eyes met. "Guarding partner," I clarified, though I knew doing so unnecessarily only made the situation more uncomfortable. I looked looked at Spiridon again, giving him a subtle glare that I hoped Rose didn't see.

"Yep." Spiridon's smile only became bigger under my glare. He totally knew what he was doing and while Rose still seemed clueless to his taunting, it was starting to get on my nerves. He went on to explain a few different methods to partner guard, but glossed over them all except the near-far guard set up. One guardian stood close, keeping direct protection, while the other allowed some distance and surveyed the general area for incoming threats. It was the one that he and Ben most commonly employed, and would be the logical one that Rose and I would use as well.

"You'll probably always be near guard," I explained. "You're female and the same age as the princess. You can stay close without attracting attention."

"And I can't ever take my eyes off her...or you." Rose was simply relaying information that she had no doubt read several times in her text books, but the phrasing was enough to elicit a snicker from Spiridon.

I shot him another look and he quickly tried to cover up his less than subtle mocking by changing the subject. "You've got a star student there. Did you give her a stake?"

"No. She's not ready." I replied.

Rose wasted no time rolling her eyes. "I would be if  _someone_  would show me how to use one." This argument wasn't a new one between us, but I was determined to stand my ground until I was sure she had mastered the more elementary defense techniques. She didn't need it as protection today. There were more than enough guardians on this trip, each carrying a stake and gun on them. If it came down to an actual attack on this outing, she would be treated and protected as one of the Moroi, though I would never tell her that. I would also never tell her that I had a second stake on me that I had packed for her, just in case. I prayed that she would never need to know either piece of information.

"More to it then just using the stake," I could hear my voice switching into the 'mentor tone' that Rose occasionally teased me about. "You've still got to subdue them. And you've got to bring yourself to kill them." I noticed Ben and Stan up front, silently nodding in agreement at the lesson. They both had had a fair share of kills and knew exactly what I was talking about. A quick glance at Spiridon showed a different expression. He agreed with me, but didn't have that same haunted look that the others shared. I hadn't cared to check before, but I briefly wondered if he had come face to face with his first Strigoi kill yet.

Rose brought me out of my thoughts. "Why wouldn't I kill them?" She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world and for a moment I envied that innocence. The Moroi around us had quieted their conversations as well, and we're waiting just as patiently as Rose for my answer.

"Most Strigoi used to be Moroi who purposely turned. Sometimes they're Moroi or dhampirs turned by force. It doesn't matter." I remembered my encounter with my former classmate early in my career, before shaking the memory away. "There's a strong chance you might know one of them. Could you kill someone you know?"

The silence in the air was heavy, the tension thick enough to be cut with a knife. I was grateful that Rose didn't answer on impulse but took a moment to consider the question.

"I guess so. I'd have to, right? If it's them or Lissa..."

"You still might hesitate, and that hesitation could kill you. And her."

"Then how do you make sure you don't hesitate?" Determination flashed in her eyes, but I didn't know if was sparked at the idea of her dying or Lissa. If I was a betting man, I'd place money on the latter.

"You have to keep telling yourself that they  _aren't_  the same people you knew," this was much easier said than done. "They've become something dark and twisted. Something unnatural. You have to let go of attachments and do what is right. If they have any grain of their former selves left, they'll probably be grateful."

"Grateful for me killing them?"

I thought for a moment about how to explain this to her, and then turned as much as I could in the cramped car so that we were face to face. "If someone turned you into a Strigoi, what would you want?"

She dropped her eyes from me for a moment, but I kept pushing her.

"What would you want if you knew you were going to be converted into a Strigoi against your will? If you knew you would lose all sense of your old morals and understanding of what's right and wrong. If you knew you'd live the rest of your life – your immortal life – killing innocent people? What would you want?"

I asked her the question sincerely, but I knew her answer already. I knew it, because I knew it was the same as my answer. I would want to be killed and be saved from that fate. We were one in the same in many respects when it came to our shared calling as guardians. We knew it was more than just life-or-death on the line. I had seen her maturity in this respect from the first day I met her, and I knew that she had a much stronger understanding of what was required than most students and even some guardians.

We both understood the sacrifices. We lived short and often lonely lives. We typically gave up friends, family, even love for the good of our ultimate goal: protecting our charge. It was the real reason why, despite our age difference and being her mentor, I could never allow myself to truly fall for Rose. Ultimately both of those were temporary issues. But one thing would never change. I had to put Lissa first. So did Rose. The moment we became her official guardians, Lissa's safety and well being needed to be forefront in both of our minds.

It was easy to forget within the confines of the Academy, where my position as Lissa's guardian was not a very active one. But out in the real world, outside of the safety of the wards, we could face death at almost any moment. Since Lissa was the last of her bloodline, it was guaranteed that we would eventually come face to face with danger. Our mantra needed to be embedded into every cell of our being, every thought we had, every move we made:  _they come first._  We would both live, and possibly die, for her and her protection.

"If I became Strigoi...I'd want someone to kill me." Her voice was quiet, but unwavering.

"So would I." As I spoke, I had the overwhelming feeling that this was more than just an agreement between us, but a silent promise. All I could do was pray that it would never come to that. Watching her die was more that I could bare to think about. Killing her myself would be something that I wasn't sure I could ever live through.

I had forgotten that the others were listening to our exchange and was a bit surprised when Prince Victor spoke up. "It reminds me of Mikhail hunting Sonya."

I glanced away from Rose as I remembered the story of the two lovers. It seemed like a story more fit for a Shakespearean Tragedy than idle chatter on the way towards a mall, but it proved the point of just how possible it was to face someone you knew and loved, and be forced to kill them. I heard the rest of the conversation, but it seemed distant as my mind faded towards my own thoughts again.

"Who are Mikhail and Sonya?" Lissa questioned.

Victor looked at her with an odd expression, more confused that surprised. "Why, I thought you knew. Sonya Karp."

"Sonya Kar...you mean, Ms. Karp? What about her?" She was looking between Victor and Rose, but Rose seemed to be avoiding her gaze as much as possible. It surprised me when Rose was the one to answer her question.

"She...became Strigoi. By choice." Rose looked almost guilty as she admitted the knowledge, but I couldn't figure out why. It wasn't like she was involved in any way. Sonya had turned right about the time they had disappeared, Mikhail left shortly after that. "But I don't know who Mikhail is."

Spiridon piped up beside her, "Mikhail Tanner."

"Oh. Guardian Tanner." She turned to Lissa to clarify, "He was here before we left. But why is he chasing Ms. Karp?"

Nobody answered for a moment, and I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes when I finally spoke. "To kill her. They were lovers."

The final piece of that puzzle wasn't exactly common knowledge among students and I heard a few of the girls gasp in surprise. Rose just looked concerned.

"Perhaps it is time to talk about something else," Victor's voice was gentle. "Today isn't the day to dwell on depressing topics." He then changed the conversation to something much more light and appropriate. Rose didn't participate in the discussion though. As she stared out the window, I could see that her mind was weighed down as heavily as mine was. I tried to keep some idle chit chat with Spiridon and the others, but I my heart wasn't in it. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around Rose and promise her that she would never have to face such a difficult life or such impossible choices. However, I knew that those were promises that I had no business making. While it might offer some small comfort now, I knew that there was no way I could ever ensure their truth.

* * *

By the time we arrived at the mall a couple of hours later, the depressing topic was all but forgotten by most of the party. I quickly ran through the plan for the trip one last time with Rose before putting in my radio earpiece and testing the small microphone. Rose seemed a bit upset that she wouldn't be patched in with the other guardians, but I tried to pacify her by insisting that if she could guard the old fashioned way, then using a radio would only make her job easier when the time came. Truthfully, I wasn't planning on being too strict with Rose during this outing and I hoped that she would allow herself a bit of fun with her friends. It would be much harder to do that if you had several other guardians speaking in your ear.

Rose and Spiridon stayed close to the main group while Stan, Ben and I fanned out. While there were technically two guardian pairs and a single, we were working more as a team. Otherwise, Stan would be much closer to the girls under his care. Rose and I were the only ones truly practicing the near-far guardian roles and that was simply part of our training exercise.

I kept both Lissa and Rose within eyesight, but kept my distance bwteen 20 and 30 feet back. There was a fine line between guarding and looking creepy to anyone who bothered to notice. Since Rose didn't have a radio, I did have to keep eye contact a little more than I typically would in this scenario, but it was subtle enough that it didn't seem to attract notice from the other customers or staff.

Rose was never more than a few feet from Lissa and was actually doing a very thorough job. I should have known that she would take this so seriously. It reminded me of the the night I first met them. Even though Rose knew that there were other guardians around her, guardians who were better armed and more experienced, I didn't doubt for a moment that Rose would personally defend against any enemy that threatened Lissa.

I could see her keeping regular conversation with Lissa as she flipped absentmindedly through the racks of clothing. They were too far to hear, but I was able to pick up the occasional word through lip reading. It wasn't enough to understand what they were talking about, but I could make some assumptions based on their body language. Lissa kept encouraging Rose to try on an outfit or two, and Rose would refuse. It was the correct choice since she was guarding, but it didn't seem like Lissa understood that. Lissa would occasionally add an odd item of clothing her her ever growing pile of clothing that seemed to be completely out of line with her typical style, and after the third thermal shirt I figured out that she was buying a few things for Rose. Even though I knew Lissa would probably never understand how much Rose was willing to sacrifice for her, I was grateful that we had a charge that at least cared enough to make such a considerate gesture.

At some point, Spiridon and Ben exchanged positions, with Ben ending up closer to the group. Since we were the same age, it wasn't odd for us to converse a little as we stood watch.

"She's doing a great job you know." I nodded at Spiridon's observation. "You've done a good job training her. She'll be a fine guardian at some point."

"Thanks. I have to admit though, I simply taught her the techniques, she had the heart and dedication before I ever met her." I was proud of Rose, she had come far and it was nice for someone else to see what I saw in her.

"Still, it must be nice to train your eventual partner. It looks like it has made you two close."

I cocked an eye at him, silently asking what he was getting at. He had been making little suggestive comments like this all day, but this had to be one of the more obvious. He smirked but didn't say anything more. I was a bit grateful for that since our conversation was currently being broadcast to the others over the radio.

I chose my words carefully before continuing. "It has it's benefits," his grin widened for a moment before I continued, "we've had an opportunity to build our communication and trust before entering the field. I'm grateful for the opportunity and it will be interesting to see how our educational relationship impacts our professional one in the future."

"Ahh, I see." He was still grinning like an idiot. "Either way, if the stories are true she has come quite a way from the nightmare she was a few years ago. Victor is planning on picking up something for her to congratulate her on her first day."

In my mind, really didn't consider this her first day. While she might still be a student, in many ways I already saw her as my partner and equal. However, this outing was the perfect excuse to do something I had been wanting to do for a while.

It took a few moments, but I finally caught Natalie's attention away from the conversations that didn't seem to involve her input. I waved her over, getting an odd look from Spiridon, but earning no comment. She approached cautiously, looking between us before speaking. "Yes, Guardian Belikov."

I switched off my mic quickly. "Natalie, would you mind doing me a favor? I'd like you to grab something for me. It's a small gift for Rose." I knew that the younger girl looked up to both Rose and Lissa, and she was eager to help out. I told her what I was looking for before handing her some cash and pointing her in the direction of a bright store decorated in black and white. I needed to keep within Rose's line of sight, so I asked Spiridon to keep and eye on her as she made the purchase for me. He nodded and stood just outside of the entrance. It would be somewhat conspicuous if either one of us set foot in that particular store.

A few moments later, Natalie returned with a small black and red bag that I quickly shoved into the pocket of my jacket before taking my change. Natalie grinned and returned towards the rest of the party. Rose and the others never seemed to notice her absence. In fact, Rose and Lissa where eyeing a small black dress near the dressing rooms. I was surprised at Lissa's choice until she held it in front of Rose. I could already see that it would look amazing on her, and tried to bite back my smile when Lissa added to the pile that she was bringing to the check out counter.

* * *

The day was dragging on and I could see that most of the group was getting tired, including Rose. She did her best to hide it but I caught more than one stifled yawn. Prince Victor was walking slower and slower, eventually needing some assistance from Ben standing near by. That was our cue to leave.

We made the final stop at a jewelry store. Rose and Lissa laughed near the case of necklaces while I lingered over near the engagement rings on the other side of the store. As odd as it might seem, I fit in this store just fine. Nobody questioned a mid-twenty guy looking at rings. Had I been a normal guy, I might be preparing to pop the question to a long time girlfriend, getting ready to settle down and have a family. I honestly wouldn't mind something like that: wife, kids, the works. However, that was not in the cards for me. I looked again towards Rose. We really weren't all that different, I dreamed of the same freedom that she so often craved.

"Looking to get something for your girlfriend?" The sales lady smiled at me from the other side of the counter. She must have finished with the other couple that had been here a few minutes ago. My hesitation had her filling in the short silence. "Is that her over there? The dark haired girl? She's quite pretty."

"Yeah, she is." Rose must have felt my gaze because she looked up and met my stare and smiled before turning back to Lissa.

Prince Victor finished with his last purchase while Natalie bounced at his side. He must have been picking up a special treat for her. We finally made our way back towards the van, piling in for the two hour trip back home. Ben helped Victor into his seat, sitting beside him and pulling out some medication to help ease the older man's pain and hopefully let him rest. Spiridon took his place up front while Stan started the engine. The three other Moroi girls were asleep moments after we were on the road, while Rose and I sat in back again so we could debrief a little. Since she actually did really well, following the book in almost everything, there wasn't much I could do to improve her performance. Even Stan had given her a reluctant compliment on her work today.

Before too long, our hushed conversation drifted onto other topics. We were leaning close together, trying to keep our voices low so the others could rest. I was way too aware of my knee touching hers and the feel of her skin as leaned gently against my arm. Even in winter, the sun had made the car warm enough that I had removed my jacket.

"So, I can't ever try on clothes again?"

I repressed a laugh, remembering her face as Lissa tried to get her to try an outfit or two on. I knew there were a few times when she had really wanted to do so, especially with that little black dress.

"When you aren't on duty, you can. You can always do it during your time off."

Her eyes were getting heavy and her voice was thick with the need to sleep. "I don't ever want time off. I want to always take care of Lissa." She tried to cover a big yawn before resting her head on my shoulder. I don't think she even recognized what she was doing, but I sure did. A moment later, she spoke again with a little grin.

"Did you see that dress?"

She didn't need to clarify which dress she was talking about. "I saw the dress."

"Did you like it?"

She didn't seem to realize what she had just asked, but I held my tongue knowing any reply to that question would be wildly inappropriate. I think she knew me well enough to know what my silence meant.

"Am I going to endanger my reputation if I wear it to the dance?" Her eyes were closed at this point and if I didn't know better, I would have thought she was already asleep.

I leaned close to her ear and whispered as low as I possibly could. "You'll endanger the school."

She smiled and gave a small hum of appreciation before shifting a bit closer to me. Her breathing fell into the slow, even rhythm of sleep.

I just looked down at her, her face more peaceful and serene than I had ever seen it before. Her hair was starting to fall from the bun she had put it in for the trip, and I brushed a strand away from her face. When she gave a little shiver under my touch, I reached for my jacket to cover her. She had worked hard today and was exhausted from the effort. She had done well and I was proud of her. I was happy to let her rest for the trip home, and if she found comfort on my shoulder, then so be it.

Sensing that she wouldn't be moving for a while, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder to get a bit more comfortable myself and settled in for the ride. Noticing that everyone else in the car was either asleep or distracted, I couldn't resist placing a small kiss in her hair and whispering to her in my native tongue. "Goodnight, my Roza."


	18. Broken Hope

I could feel the van start to slow down, finally pulling into the Academy gates. Rose was still sounds asleep on my shoulder, softly snoring. She hardly moved the entire ride here, and I was hesitant to wake her, but it wasn't as if I could let her sleep the rest of the night in the van, especially with her using my shoulder as her pillow.

I touched her shoulder and gently shook her to rouse her. It took a try or two, but eventually her eyes fluttered opened. She looked directly at me and under the last influence of sleep, gave me a smile before she realized where her head was resting. She popped up, scooting over to give a bit of distance between us as she handed my jacket back to me. The sudden chill I felt at her absence was surprising, but I tried not to dwell on it to much.

"Thanks." Her voice was a bit hesitant and shy, but I could still see smile she was trying to hide.

"No problem." We were the last two to get out of the van, and I extended my hand to her to steady her as she climbed out after me.

"Back to prison." She basked in the midnight sun for a moment, taking a deep breath before letting out a sigh and catching up to Lissa.

She might have been back on probation, but I could already see the stress of school had faded with her short-lived freedom. I was glad that she had the chance to get away, even if it was just for an evening.

Spiridon appeared beside me as I watched Rose chatting animatedly with her friend, practically skipping as she walked along side her.

"So, you two looked mighty comfortable on the ride back." His grin left no question as to what he was alluding to.

"She was tired and fell asleep. No big deal." I tried to keep my face straight, but one look at his unbelieving smirk and I could feel the corners of my mouth tug upwards.

"Uh-huh. Whatever you say."

Rose caught both of our attention when she hopped up on one of the wooden benches that lined the path way. When she reached the end, she jumped off, only to repeat the action when she came to the next bench a few feet away. On the second bench, she gave a little twirl as she dismounted, playfully bowing to the laughs and applause from Lissa and Natalie.

"Hey!" Called Spiridon, failing miserably to keep his own laughter from his voice. "You're still on duty, no fun allowed up there!"

"No fun here," she called back, batting her eyes in a show of feigned innocents. I shook my head and looked away, knowing that a wider audience was only likely to make her more bold with her tricks. Sure enough, she turned back towards the series of benches and ran towards the next one, her voice carrying back towards us as she did so. "I swear – shit!"

I watched in horror as one of the bench boards gave way beneath her and heard the sharp crack of bones snapping even from yards away. Several of the girls shirked, while Spiridon and I rushed towards Rose. Most of her body was laying flat against the bench, but her ankle was bent at an odd angle, stuck in a hole of the rotten wood. It was easy to tell that it was broken. When Rose didn't move or cry out, I noticed that she had passed out under the shock of the break. I was grateful for the small blessing, knowing that if she was conscious, the pain would be immense.

She must have his just the right spot on the bench, because the hole was small and almost seemed to be formed around her already swollen ankle. Lissa desperately tried to reach out to Rose, but Spiridon held her back while I started to break away the wood. Once it was wide enough, I was able to carefully lift her off the bench and took off towards the clinic, leaving the other guardians to return our party to their rooms.

I did my best to keep her still as I ran, but the jostling must have roused her enough. Soon I could hear some incoherent murmurs coming from her. I couldn't make out much between the soft whimpers of pain, but I did hear both mine and Lissa's name, as well as the odd mention of training. Her face was tucked into my shoulder again, but instead sleeping peacefully, her hands hands gripped my shirt and her eyes and jaw was clenched tight as tears escaped down her cheeks. I tried to tell her that we were almost there, and that she would be alright, but I knew she wasn't processing my words. I hoped that my voice provided at least some comfort.

It wasn't until we arrived that I realized Lissa had followed us. The nurse showed us to a small room and had me place her on the cot before she checked her vitals and called for Dr. Olendzki. She returned a moment later with a small syringe, saying that the doctor had ordered something for the pain.

Lissa and I sat beside her. Lissa was at the foot of the bed, resting her hand about mid-shin on her broken leg while I sat next to Rose's shoulder. I was doing my best to resist the temptation to brush away her tears or run my fingers through her hair as she occasional tossed her head side to side. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I knew I couldn't do so with Lissa as an audience. Even now, with me keeping my hands folded in my lap, I could see Lissa watching me cautiously. Thankfully, as the medicine quickly kicked in, Rose's quiet pain-filled cries became more subdued and infrequent. Rose was peacefully resting again ten minutes later when Doctor Olendzki finally arrived.

After telling her what had happened leading up to our arrival, the doctor ushered both Lissa and I out into the hall. Spiridon was waiting a few feet away in the lobby of the clinic and called out when he saw us.

"Hey, how is she?" He was breathless, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he ran over as soon as Prince Victor and the others had been dropped off. While I was a bit surprised to see him here, I appreciated his concern.

"No official word yet, but they did give her something for the pain and she's resting. The doctor is looking her over now."

"It looked like a really bad break. I hope it doesn't take too long to heal. I may not know her very well, but I'm pretty sure she's not one to sit still during recovery."

I just smiled in response. He was right. Even though she fought training in the beginning, she seemed to thrive during our practices now and wouldn't take kindly to bedrest.

After a minute or two of watching Vasilisa pace outside the door, Spiridon spoke up again. "I should probably get going, but I just wanted to make sure she is alright and drop something off from Prince Victor. It's just a little gift for when she wakes up."

I took the small package from him, remembering him talking about the congratulatory gift earlier. "Thank you, I'm sure she'll love the surprise." I caught sight of Lissa again, her pacing becoming slower as exhaustion started to overtake her. "Would you mind escorting the Princess to her room?"

He nodded while she started to protest. I cut her words off quickly. "Don't worry Vasilisa, I'll stay with her until she wakes. You should get some sleep though, you can hardly stand up as it is."

I could see her forming an argument again, but she only mustered a yawn before agreeing with me. Spiridon took her arm and started leading her out of the clinic. As soon as they were out of view, I let out the breath I had been holding and relaxed into one of the chairs in the hallway. It wasn't too long afterward that the doctor finally exited the room. I immediately stood at attention again when she spotted me.

"Ah, Guardian Belikov. Thank you for waiting. I have to say that this was a bit unusual..." She looked at her notes while I tried to understand what she meant by 'unusual.' "It seems that Rose is, well, perfectly fine."

I didn't even try to hide the surprise on my face. Frankly, I was too tired and confused to care at this point. "What do you mean? That's impossible. I saw her fall, I heard the bone crack, I saw the bruising, the swelling and the odd angle. How could she just be fine?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I even took x-rays to double check, but she doesn't have a single sign of the injury. Not even a scratch or splinter from the wood." She peered down at my hands, slightly marred by tearing at the bench earlier. "You actually look worse than she does."

I automatically brushed off her concern. "Do you mind if I go in then?" As much as I wanted to believe Dr. Olendzki, I had to see this for myself. There was no way that she came away from the incident unscathed.

"Sure, but I should let you know that she will probably sleep for another little while. The medicine I gave her was a bit strong, she'll probably be a bit groggy for a while. Otherwise, she should be just fine and can return to her room after she wakes. I don't think there is anything else I can offer. If something comes up, don't hesitate to let the nurse know. I'd be happy to come back if needed."

Rose was indeed still asleep when I walked in. I crept towards the foot of the bed, lifting a bit of the sheet that covered her right ankle. Just like the doctor had said, there wasn't a single sign of her fall. I quickly checked the other ankle just to be sure that I hadn't mistaken which foot had taken the force of the fall, but it looked just like the first. No swelling, no bruising, no scratches. It was just a little bit red, and perhaps a tad warm to the touch. With no explanation, and succumbing to the pull of fatigue, I replaced the cover over her feet and returned to the chair beside her.

With no audience this time, I freely smoothed her hair, tucking a rouge piece behind her ear. A few minutes later, I was quietly dozing beside her, my head propped up in my hand.

It seemed like only a few minutes later when I started to hear her shift on the bed, slowly waking from her drug induced nap. I watched as her eyes fluttered open, trying to focus on the lights above her.

"Rose?"

She turned towards my voice, meeting my eyes with a smile. "Hey." Her voice was a bit hoarse, and I searched for some water to offer her.

"How do you feel?" I handed her the bottle and she quickly drank half of it in a single gulp, grimacing as the cool water coated her throat.

"Weird. Kind of groggy."

"Dr. Olendzki gave you something for the pain – you seemed pretty bad when we brought you in." I was still surprised that there wasn't any lasting damage, or any apparent damage at all

"I don't remember that...how long have I been out?"

I glanced at the clock, it was getting close to morning by now. "A few hours."

"Must have been strong. Must still be strong." I could see her wiggle her toes under the thin sheet. "I don't hurt at all."

"No. Because you weren't seriously injured."

She looked about as surprised as I felt. "Are you sure? I remember...the way it bent. No. Something must be broken." She started to sit up, a bit quicker than she probably should. "Or at least sprained."

I caught her by the shoulder when I saw her sway unsteadily, still under the influence of the medication. "Be careful. Your ankle might be fine, but you're probably still a little out of it."

She continued to sit up, reaching for the covers a bit slower than she had before. She examined her foot like I had, even checking the other one to be sure. After seeing proof that nothing was wrong, she shrugged and returned her attention to me. "God, I got lucky. If I'd hurt it, it would have put me out of practice for a while."

I laughed and returned to my chair by her side. Of course she was worried about that. "I know. You kept telling me that while I was carrying you. You were very upset."

I almost didn't catch the little wince before she spoke. "You...you carried me here?" I couldn't tell if she was amused or embarrassed by the idea.

"After we broke the bench apart and freed your foot."

She leaned her head back against the wall, hiding her face behind her hands before we both started laughing. I probably had over reacted earlier, tearing at the bench like a mad man, but I had been so worried about her. I was nothing short of a miracle that she wasn't injured, but I wasn't going to question the fact that she was fine. Her laughter dissolved into a small groan when she realized something.

"I was taken down by a bench." At least, that's what I thought she said. Her words were muffled to the point where I could hardly understand them.

"What?"

She finally moved her hands, absentmindedly pulling her hair out of it's now destroyed bun and letting it hang loose as she sighed. "I survived the whole day guarding Lissa, and you guys said I did a good job. Then, I get back here and meet my downfall in the form of a bench." She looked away, hiding the blush that was spreading across her cheeks. "Do you know how embarrassing that is? And all those guys saw too!"

"It wasn't your fault," I reassured, holding back my smile, knowing that it would only make her feel worse. "No one knew the bench was rotted. It looked fine."

"Still. I should have just stuck to the sidewalk like a normal person. The other novices are going to give me shit when I get back."

The look on her face broke my facade. Of course she was more worried about the potential taunting from the other novices and looking foolish in front of the guardians. It wasn't like she had just managed to avoid serious injury or anything. I shook my head in amusement. "Maybe presents will cheer you up."

That got her attention. "Presents?" Any earlier embarrassment was quickly forgotten just by the mention of gifts.

I nodded and handed her the small box on the nearby table. "This is from Prince Victor."

She took the box with a look of surprise. I doubt that she expected anything from him. She quietly read the note, her look of surprise slowly dissolving into a smile. I didn't ask what it said, and she didn't share, but I had a decent idea based on what Spiridon had told me earlier.

After folding the note and slipping it into her pocket, reached for the box again. "That's nice of him." The lid lifted, revealing its contents. The look of shock returned, amplified ten-fold. "Whoa. Very nice."

Her fingers looped around a delicate chain, gingerly pulling it from the box. The golden rose had small diamonds lining it's petals, with a much larger diamond showcased in the center. It was stunning, and even without seeing the price tag, there was no doubt in my mind that it had cost a small fortune.

"This is pretty extreme for a get-well present."

"He actually bought it in honor of you doing so well on your first day as an official guardian." I was still slightly shocked by the extravagance. My voice sounded distant, as if someone else was speaking. I remembered Lissa and Rose admiring something while at the jewelery store. "He must have seen you and Lissa looking at it."

"Wow," she breathed, turning the pendant in her hands to watch it glitter in the light. "I don't think I did  _that_  good of a job."

"I do."

Her eyes briefly met mine as I spoke, giving me a proud grin before admiring the necklace once more. I felt a small pang in my chest as she examined the gift in awe and wonder. She deserved nice things like this. In our world of violence and action they were hardly practical, but an elegant luxury like that seemed to fit her. It wouldn't seem awkward or out of place around her neck like it would on some girls, as if they had raided their mother's jewelery box. I knew that the gold and diamond rose would only be enhanced by her own natural beauty when she wore it. Despite the raw power and fire that burned within her, I had also seen glimpses of a young lady that could hold her own under pressure with both grace and poise. In stark contrast to the brash wild child that many saw her as, she could easily blend in with royalty if she chose to do so. She deserved a life filled with these sort of pleasantries, and a man who could offer such.

As much as I willed the thought not to come, it came anyways.  _That man isn't you. You'll never be able to give her the gifts, the security, or the life she deserves._  The unbidden words stung. It was one thing to know that I could never be with Rose because of various circumstances beyond my control. I could almost accept that as fate. It was another thing entirely to feel unworthy of her.

I was a man of simple means. A guardian's salary wasn't much to begin with, and even less so when I was still early in my career. I was careful with what I had, avoiding debt when possible and saving where I could. I lived with the bare essentials in life, allowing my western novels as my only real luxury. Everything else I sent home to help provide for my family. My lifestyle had never really bothered me until now, but in this moment I resented the fact that I couldn't offer Rose more than a small token. After Victor's surprise, I half hoped that I could put off giving her my own gift. It would pale in comparison.

I wouldn't be so lucky.

"You did say 'presents,' right? Like...more than one?" Her voice snapped me out of my self wallowing and I knew I was incapable of resisting the hopeful look on her face as she replaced the precious jewelry in it's protective box, setting it aside. I knew I would always give in to her and the thought only made me laugh.

I reached for my jacket, pulling the small black bag out of the pocket before handing it to her. "This is from me."

She took the bag cautiously, eying it like whatever was inside might attack her. Glancing at me skeptically and biting her lip in anticipation, I nodded my encouragement before she pulled away the red tissue paper and looked inside.

The small gasp she gave when she recognized the tube of lip gloss was enough to relieve my own trepidation. Momentarily speechless (which is quite a feat indeed) she switched her gaze between me and the gift as her mouth struggled and failed to form words. After a moment or two, she finally found her voice again, though it was still filled with pleasant disbelief.

"How'd you manage to buy this? I saw you the whole time at the mall."

"Guardian secrets."

She rolled her eyes at my response but didn't push the matter further. "What's this for? My first day?"

"No," I answered simply. "It's because I thought it would make you happy."

The smile that earned me was worth every penny and more. I had set out to make her happy and I had succeeded. I didn't think I could feel more elated than I did at that moment, but she proved me wrong yet again.

Before I could tell what was happening, I felt Rose's arms around my neck and her body pressed against me chest in a tight embrace. She had been attempting to surprise me in training for weeks now, and she had finally managed to catch me off-guard; though not in the way she had intended, I'm sure.

Within seconds, her comforting warmth relaxed my stiff posture and I returned the gesture. I felt a her smile form against my neck as I placed one hand on her lower back while the fingers on my other hand wound into her hair. I selfishly held her for a moment, recognizing the soft scent of her shampoo and doing everything I could to cement this memory into my mind. I hated to ruin this feeling with words, but the overwhelming flood of relief that she was safe clouded my mind.

"I'm glad you're better," I whispered against her ear. "When I saw you fall..."

She pulled back just a little, hands still resting on my shoulders, so she could see me better before rolling her eyes and cutting off my sentiment, "You thought, 'Wow, she's a loser.'"

"That's not what I thought." My voice was gentle, but inside my emotions were raging like a storm. I knew I shouldn't, but all I wanted to do was kiss her. Slowly, carefully, I allowed my fingers to trace her cheek bone before twirling a loose lock of hair beside her neck. She shivered slightly under my touch and I knew I wasn't alone in my desire. I had kissed many women before, but I had never felt my heart race in anticipation as it did right now. I leaned in slightly, watching her tongue run along her upper lip and wanting nothing more than to feel those same lips against mine.

A soft knock at the door brought us back to a cold reality and we both jumped away from the other as the door opened. Dr. Olendzki entered and without hesitation, and smiled when she saw Rose awake. "I thought I heard you talking. How do you feel?"

Before Rose could answer, the doctor had gently pushed her back against the cot and started examining her ankle. She twisted it cautiously, pressing her fingers against the joint and bones before shaking her head in disbelief and jotting down a few notes on her chart.

"You're lucky. With all the noise you made coming in here, I thought your foot had been amputated. Must have just been shock." She shrugged, giving me a pointed look before speaking to Rose again. "I'd feel better if you sat out your normal training tomorrow, but otherwise, you're good to go."

With how early it now was, I had been planning on canceling training anyway, but I gave the doctor a quick not of agreement before she left and I stood to retrieve Rose's shoes and coat. I helped her off the bed and watched as she started slipping her shoes on. I shook my head, still not quite believing how close she came to getting a serious injury.

"You have a guardian angel." I stated.

She scoffed. "I don't believe in angels," she declared as she reached for her other shoe. "I believe in what I can do for myself." The finality in her words amused me, though I didn't doubt that she meant them wholeheartedly.

"Well then, you have an amazing body."

She paused, looking up at me with a smirk before I realized just what I had said.

"For healing, I mean." I quickly tried to recover, but ended up turning away slightly in an attempt to hide my embarrassment. "I heard about the accident..."

She nodded, understanding what I was referencing without further specification. Rose had also been in the car accident that had killed Vasilisa's entire family when they were fourteen, leaving Lissa the last of her blood line and leaving both girls without the only family either of them had really known. It was a miracle Rose was even alive when all the reports stated that she shouldn't have made it. She had narrowly missed death then, and she seemed to be flirting with danger ever since.

"Everyone said I shouldn't have survived," her voice was calm, but I could hear the slight hesitation and knew that she didn't talk about this often, "because of where I sat and the way the car hit the tree. Lissa was really the only one in a secure spot. She and I walked away with only a few scratches."

"And you don't believe in angels or miracles."

"Nope. I -"

Her words cut off, suddenly replaced with an expression that could only be described as anxious confusion.

I rushed to her side, kneeling next to her chair and placing a hand on her shoulder in attempt to gain her attention. "What's wrong?"

"Where's Lissa? Was she here?" Her eyes were focused on mine, her voice taking on the intensely protective tone that only appeared when she felt the need to defend her best friend.

"I don't know where she is. She wouldn't leave your side while I brought you in. She stayed right next to the bed, right up until the doctor came in. You calmed down when she sat next to you." I had no idea what was going on, but I tried to give her as much information as I could.

She brushed my hand from her shoulder as she stood, pacing the floor as she frantically ran her fingers through her hair. I could see her attempting to put the pieces together in some unknown puzzle and all I could do was watch, stunned silent. Suddenly, she stopped pacing and her eyes glazed over as she attempted to use the bond to find Lissa. She struggled for a moment, probably fighting some lingering effects of the medicine before she succeeded.

I doubted that I would ever get used to the unsettling sight of her when she was in Lissa's mind. Physically, she was here, but she was mentally unaware of her surroundings. I wasn't thrilled with how vulnerable it left her. It was one thing to willingly enter her mind when I was around to offer protection while she did so, but if she happened to be pulled in by Lissa's intense emotions during a fight or in some other unsecured surroundings, the consequences could be disastrous. We still had yet to find a solution to some of the more unpredictable side effects of their shared bond.

After a couple of minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. The varied emotions that played across her face while she was out of it told me nothing of the situation, but left me anxious. I tried to gently shake her out of her trance and called her name over and over. I even contemplated some more drastic means of awakening her, but quickly tossed them aside with a mental reminder that this was reality, not some movie or fairy tale.

Dr. Olendzki must have heard me, because she ran into the room and started asking questions that I didn't have the answers to. I tried to explain that it was connected to the bond rather than a side effect of her earlier fall, but that only left her more confused. It felt like hours later, but Rose eventually returned to herself.

She looked at me, scared and distraught. Her eyes flickered towards the doctor but only for a moment.

"Rose." My voice was pleading. I didn't know how to ask what had happened. I was worried about Lissa. I was worried about her. I needed her to tell me something...anything.

Finally, she spoke. Her voice was urgent, but also seemed tainted by shame. I couldn't understand why she would be ashamed, but I trusted her and knew I would do anything to help. "I know where she is. Lissa. We have to help her."


	19. Trust and Friendship

I practically had to pin Rose down to keep her from running out the door. Broken ankle or not, she had just taken a serious fall and I didn't want to risk further injury. Thankfully, Dr. Olendzki was on my side.

"But she's in danger!" Rose made another break for the door and I held her against the wall. She was frantically struggling against me and I had to stand right in front of her to keep her attention. I knew she was serious, but I needed to keep her as calm as possible.

"Then tell me where she is. Trust me, Rose. I'll find her." I tried to keep my voice even, but I could already feel the adrenalin pumping though my veins, urging me to move, even without a known destination.

She stilled for a moment, staring at me. Just one look and I knew I had her trust. But as her eyes flickered over to the doctor, it seemed like I might be the only one who did. I held her gaze, silently pleading, before I felt her desire to keep fighting me leave. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper, "Chapel attic...hurry."

I was already running out the door and towards the chapel grounds by the time I heard Rose sink to the floor. A small part of me wanted to turn around and comfort her, but I couldn't. I had promised her that I would find Lissa. I couldn't break that promise. But that wasn't the only reason, it shouldn't even be the primary reason. No, the real reason I needed to put Princess Vasilisa first was because she was my charge. It was my job to be there for her and protect her above all else. And once again, I had failed in that.

I pulled my cell phone from my pocket without slowing my pace. I didn't know what awaited me when I arrived, and decided that back up may be needed. I almost automatically called the school's Guardian Office to put out a page for the nearest on duty guardian, but hesitated when I remembered the look that Rose had given the doctor. She was resistant to giving this information freely. I wanted to respect that, but I couldn't compromise mine or Lissa's safety to do so.

 _Who does she trust?_  I thought as I ran, the quick footfalls pounding out a steady rhythm. Suddenly, a name came to mind. She could very well be the only other staff member on this campus that Rose trusted.

True to form, the phone was answered before the second ring. "Petrov."

"Alberta, it's Dimitri. I need your help at the chapel immediately." My voice was clear, but I'm sure she could tell I was running.

"On my way." She hung up without another word. Thank goodness she didn't question me, because I didn't have answers. All I knew is what Rose told me, and even that wasn't much. Only the essentials: Lissa was in trouble and she was in the chapel attic.

When I was only a few steps from the church doors, I could see Guardian Petrov on my left. She was running just as quickly as I had. "In the attic," I shouted in her direction before disappearing inside. I don't know if she heard me, but I was certain that the priest – who was setting up the hall for today's services – did. He seemed totally stunned by my sudden appearance, and that only left me with more questions.

Whatever the matter was, it must have been quiet. The priest would have heard a struggle or fight. I wasn't sure if I should be relieved by the thought, or more concerned. In the end, I didn't have time to make that decision before I reached the top of the stairs.

Hearing silence on the other side of the attic door, I threw it open without knocking. My stake was at the ready, but the sight stunned me still. Lissa was lying still on the floor, blood covering her and the surrounding hardwood. My mind flashed to another similar scene, when Ivan lay dead before me.

Alberta's gasp behind me brought be back to the present and my mind tried to put together what might have happened based on the evidence around us. While my mind naturally went to a Strigoi attack, I quickly disregarded the idea. Not only were we within the wards, we were in the church on holy ground. There was no way she could become a Stigoi victim here. Her attacker was a mere mortal. As I got closer though, it became clear that it wasn't just any mortal. No, she had done this to herself.

I could see the razor blade in her hand and the small pattern of cuts down her arm, some still slowly dripping blood. Faint pink scars indicated that this wasn't the first time she had made those cuts either. While all this added to the horror of the image, there was one relief: the gentle, barely noticeable rise and fall of her chest. She was alive, at least for the time being.

I quickly checked for any other injuries, before wrapping her in my jacket and picking her up. Her skin was already cool to the touch and I knew we had to hurry. Alberta was already calling the clinic, notifying them of our return and calling for a feeder to be brought immediately.

It was still early enough on a Sunday morning that most people weren't out and about. Besides the priest – who crossed himself as we rushed by him – we only saw a few others. With Lissa wrapped in my jacket, I doubted that anyone would know her identity.

The moment I entered the clinic doors, noise and a flurry of activity surrounded us. Doctors and nurses who had already been notified of her condition jumped into action. She was taken from my hands and once again, I felt useless. I didn't even need to tell them much about the scene, since the evidence was written on her skin. I looked around for something to do...some way to be helpful.

With all the movement in the clinic, someone standing still in the corner caught my attention. Her skin was pale with wide-eyed fear, contrasting starkly against her hair. Her hands were clasped in front of her, twitching with the need to help but unable to do anything productive. I understood the feeling all too well. While she didn't move from her place, her eyes darted back and forth between everyone. That is, until she saw me. The moment I caught her eye, she let out a shaky breath.

I didn't hesitate. I moved through the crowd and wrapped her in my arms. Everyone was so focused on Vasilisa, I doubted that anyone even noticed us. I tried to whisper comforting words, letting her know that Lissa should be fine and that everything would be okay. I don't think she even heard me. Slowly, I moved her from the corner and into one of the empty rooms in the clinic. I knew she was overwhelmed with everything. For a while, all I did was provide what silent comfort I could, staying close by just in case she needed me.

After she started to relax, I knew I needed to get some of my questions answered.

"Rose, how long has this been going on?"

The look of shame flashed across her face before she spoke. "A couple of years."

"She's been hurting herself for years?" I was shocked and didn't notice my voice rising until I saw her flinch. I tried to get my own feelings in check before speaking again. "Rose, you are her guardian. More importantly, you're her friend. How could you allow this to go on for so long? Why didn't you tell anyone?"

It was unfair of me to cite her duty as a guardian when she was still a novice, but we both knew that she took that future responsibility seriously, as if she already held the title. While guardians didn't typically meddle in their charge's affairs, it was our duty to protect them against physical harm, and (at least to me) that included harm that they did to themselves.

Rose seemed to find her fire again in that moment. "I couldn't tell anyone  _because_  she is my friend, Dimitri. She asked me not to. She begged me not to tell anyone. She has never gone this far though and I thought she was getting better. And then..." She cut off, looking towards the door and the chaos that waited on the other side.

I took a deep breath, seeing how distressed she was. While I still thought she should have told someone long ago, I understood to a certain extent. Rose was Lissa's friend first, just as I had been with Ivan. Occasionally, the expectations of friend and guardian conflict. Unfortunately, those conflicts can have deadly consequences. Handling a situation like this wasn't something that was taught in school. If anything, they tried to encourage us to not become too attached or friendly with our charges because of difficulties just like this one. How could I expect her to move though the choppy waters of her situation without mistake?

"I understand. It was a hard decision with no good option and you did the best you could under the circumstance. I'm glad you finally let someone know though, and just in time. I think she'll be fine but... it was close."

She nodded but didn't speak. I could still see the pain and self loathing in her countenance and as much as I wanted to simply make it go away, I knew I couldn't and I knew I shouldn't. She needed to remember this feeling so she wouldn't make the same mistakes that I had made in the past. Instead, I continued in my lesson.

"Occasionally, you are going to have to make decisions that your charge doesn't agree with for their own good. While they may be the Moroi and your employer, your job is to put their physical safety first, even when they don't understand. They come first. Not their wishes or whims,"  _though they often believe that too_ , I silently added, "but their safety."

Once again, she silently nodded, acknowledging my words without argument.

"Unfortunately, you may also have to make decisions that you don't care for either to ensure their safety." I'm instantly overcome with all the sacrifices I've made for my career. How long it has been since I've seen my family, all the sleepless nights and other minor discomforts, all the basic experiences like love and family that I know are out of my reach. "We are asked to give our life for our charges. That promise goes beyond dying for them."

This time, instead of silently nodding while staring off into space, she thought for a moment before turning towards me. I had that sensation that I had felt several times before while looking at her. The one that felt like some silent conversation was passing between us. She understood; not just the lesson I was teaching her, but why so many guardians, myself included, acted the way we did. We had given up so much, and she would eventually be asked to do the same.

While I was relieved that she understood, the thought of her sacrificing everything for the life a guardian lives was suffocating. Soon, the feeling was overwhelming and I needed to step outside.

"Stay here. I'll go get an update on Vasilisa and then be back in a moment."

Things had quieted down quickly, or so I had thought. Truthfully, it had been hours since I had brought Lissa in. I saw Alberta standing with the doctor, Headmistress Kirova, and another Moroi woman than I didn't recognize. I walked over towards them, hoping that they would offer some information about Lissa's condition.

"Ah, Guardian Belikov," Headmistress Kirova spoke as soon as she noticed me. "Thank you for joining us. Princess Dragomir is stable now, thanks to your quick actions, but this issue is far from resolved unfortunately." She looked towards Doctor Olendzki, obviously waiting for her to explain further.

"It appears that her self-harm tendencies have been going on for a while without notice," she observed. I wasn't about to correct her. If I told them that Rose had knowledge of this, it would no doubt earn her more undeserved punishment. I pretended that it was news to me and she continued, "therefor, we would like to keep her under closer observation and encourage counseling and some medicinal aid until further notice."

Alberta then spoke up. "She will always have a guardian nearby. Perhaps this will help with some of those unfortunate pranks as well," it sounded like she was as exasperated as I was about the fact that it took a near death experience to receive permission to up her protection in light of all that had happened since her return. "Since you are her sanctioned guardian, typically this responsibility would fall to you. However, since you have other responsibilities on campus, several guardians will assist you. We would like to keep the matter as quiet as possible, so they will be asked to keep the situation discrete."

The way that she said this made be believe that her orders went beyond simple gossip. There would be a chance that Lissa may not realize she had extra security, and it would certainly be hidden from anyone else who didn't need to know.

Once again, the doctor spoke while pointing to the new Moroi woman, "and she will be required to attend counseling daily."

I extended my hand to introduce myself, but promptly forgot her name. I had other things on my mind. "Is she stable enough to receive visitors? Rose would like to speak to her when possible."

The headmistress rolled her eyes at my comment and walked away from our group. I didn't take the offense to heart because the doctor allowed Rose to see Lissa.

After giving my thanks, I returned to Rose to give her the good news. I didn't plan on sharing all the details, just that Lissa was stable and would be getting the help that she needed. I found Rose in the exact same position that I had left her in. She looked like she was shouldering the guilt of the world on her back. As expected though, she perked up when I told her she could go see Lissa.

"Don't stay too long. We've both been up much longer than we should," I warned. "Get some rest today. We'll pick up practice on Monday. Nothing too strenuous," I clarified by pointing to her ankle, "but I'd be happy to work with you on some upper body conditioning and perhaps help you with some of your class work."

With the intense training schedule, I hadn't sat down with her to discuss her class work for a while. As far as I knew, she was keeping her grades up. She was just above average in most of her general subjects, but she was doing well in her guardian classes. Still, I enjoyed giving her the opportunity to discuss theory more in depth if she wanted. While I could simply cancel practices this week, I thought having something to take her mind off Lissa's condition would be better in the long run.

She thanked me before bolting out the door and I returned to my own apartment, finally getting the rest my body so desperately craved after everything.

* * *

The next few days seemed to be fairly mundane, but I started to see a few changes that caused me some concern. Rose was still upset over Lissa's hospital trip. As careful as we had been about her visit, word still got out, though nobody seemed to know the true reason why. Each explanation seemed more absurd than the last. Between the new set of rumors and the guilt that I could still see radiating from Rose (despite my support) I could understand why she was still somewhat off. She admirably pushed through every task I gave her, including some extra reading work for her body guard theory class.

When I wasn't in training with Rose, I took extra shifts as Lissa's shadow. As I had expected, she wasn't made aware of her increased security and she didn't seem to question our presence, if she noticed us at all. It was the third day of watching over Lissa that I finally figured out what odd behavior was gnawing at me: Rose and Lissa never spoke or spent time together. If anything, Lissa was actively ignoring her. Since their return, the two had been inseparable during their free time, but what I was seeing now was nothing even remotely close to how they had acted during the shopping trip. Rose seemed to keep an eye on her, but it was always at a distance. If Lissa noticed her near by, she didn't acknowledge her in a friendly way, but would glare at her as if she was nothing more than an annoying insect buzzing too close. Perhaps it would be one thing if this behavior was only between Rose and Lissa, but it appeared that almost everyone was following the princess's lead in the matter.

Once I saw what was going on, it was hard to ignore. Rose took it in stride for the most part, but I felt bad for her. I had a decent idea about what sparked this treatment, and if I was right, she didn't deserve to be outcast like this. I tried to find a chance to talk to her again, but there never seemed to be the right opening.

That is until Thursday. Rose was still taking things easy because of her ankle (despite her several protests) and I had her working on an essay due the next week. I had noticed that essays seemed to be her least favorite assignments and I had hoped that getting an early start might help her raise her grade in that class. While she worked, I tried to catch up with one of my novels. I was only a few pages in before I heard her groan in frustration and close her laptop a bit harder than she probably should have.

I quirked an eyebrow, looking at her over my book before she gave me an apologetic glance. "Sorry. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss running."

To be honest, I had never thought I'd hear her say that either. I set my book aside, intrigued. "Oh? Why's that?"

"I miss that feeling of freedom I get when I run, as if life really is as simple as breathing while putting one foot in front of the other."

I could understand that. It was one reason why I enjoyed running so much. It was a peculiar release, and one that was hard to replicate. You received the physical release of fighting, and the mental release of meditation.

"You'll be on the track again on Monday, I can guarantee it. We're running out of homework for you to get ahead on." My attempt at lightening the mood was shot down with a glare that clearly said 'not amused.' I tried to regroup. "Why are you so eager to get back out there anyway? A few months ago, you would be begging me for a break."

"I guess," She shrugged. "Maybe I would just welcome the distraction."

"From Lissa?" I guessed. She nodded. "You know, if she is treating you like this because you finally spoke up about her issues and got her help, then I can say for certain that you don't deserve it. You're a good friend. She's the one not repaying the favor."

"I don't really blame her though. I was supposed to keep her secret. I was supposed to protect her."

"You did protect her and you still are. Don't think I haven't noticed you keeping an eye out for her, even now."

She hardly looked surprised that I had been watching over them both, almost like she expected as much. "Well, it's not as if I have much of a choice. Not with the bond." She tapped her head for emphasis.

I finally walked over from my bench and sat next to her on the mat. "Rose, your bond to Vasilisa will help you become a great guardian for her. However, being a guardian is not the same as being a friend. They are entirely different relationships and you can have one without the other. The bond doesn't hold you to either of them."

I was hesitant to outright tell her that she had no responsibility to be either a friend or guardian to the princess if Lissa didn't respect those roles. Even if their bond could be a great asset to both. However, seeing Rose struggle because of Lissa's behavior was annoying to say the least. I felt like I was dealing with my little sister, and the protective nature in me wanted to go talk some sense into the royal girl. However, it wasn't my place to do so, and all that I was left with was small attempts to support Rose.

However, Rose took my advice with a huff, "Maybe you'd be right if I didn't owe her my life." I gave her a questioning look when her body stiffened, obviously regretting the words she spoke without thinking.

"Excuse me?"

"Um...well..." She stuttered for a moment, grasping for a reasonable lie before resigning to the truth. "I've been doing some research, and I think I might know how the bond was developed."

I was surprised, not expecting that topic to come up. We had talked about the bond several times before, but since neither of us had a ton of experience with what it entailed, a majority of our training was adapted as we went along. Finding the cause for the bond was a fairly big development and I was curious why she seemed hesitant to tell me.

"You have to promise to keep an open mind about this, and I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to anyone else about it, but...I have a theory. I...I think I died...that night of the crash."

If I was surprised before, it was nothing compared to this. I didn't even know what to say to something like that. "What do you mean?" I was trying hard to hear her out, but all that was running though my mind was how completely insane it sounded.

"I know I sound crazy, but Lissa...she healed me."

I opened my mouth to say...something...I'm not sure what, before Rose cut me off in a flurry of words.

"I've seen her do it before. She's brought a raven back to life. She healed my ankle last week. I don't know how she does it, but she does. The bond started just after the crash, and all I remember is waking up with her above me. I wasn't just suppose to die in that crash, I DID die. Somehow I walked away with nothing more than a few scratches, and that's because of Lissa. Her bringing me back must have formed the bond somehow, it connected us."

I tried to grasp what she was saying, but it felt out of my reach. The crash...the one Lissa's family died in? Raven? Her ankle? Wait. Her ankle. That I could understand somewhat. I knew I had seen it broken. I had heard the crack myself. There was no way she should have walked away without injury.

I remembered Lissa desperately trying to get to Rose after she fell. I remember her eyeing me cautiously in the clinic. Perhaps she wasn't concerned about my less-than-professional feelings, but about me seeing her heal Rose. It was another secret that she didn't want revealed.

Rose continued, confirming what I thought. "Please, you can't tell anyone, not yet. We aren't even sure how or why it is happening. Lissa doesn't want to be treated like a freak, and I don't want to be either. But...I think that's why there have been all these dead animals. Somebody else knows, and they are trying to get her to do it again."

I was still silent, running my fingers through my hair as I tried to make sense of it all. If what Rose thought was true, then it did explain why someone was leaving dead animals for Lissa. But the bigger question was not about the disturbing pranks, but the idea that Vasilisa had brought Rose back to life. It was simply impossible to believe, not when the evidence to the contrary was sitting right beside me. But, I know what I saw the day she fell on the bench, and I know now that she had to have broken something. I had only believed otherwise because there seemed to be no other explanation...but now there was. Lissa had healed her.

I glanced at Rose who was looking at me nervously, almost scared. "Dimitri, please say something."

"I don't know what to say, Rose." I took a deep breath, pausing a moment longer before speaking again. "This is...practically unbelievable...but after what I saw last weekend, it makes some sense."

She looked a bit relieved, perhaps because I wasn't calling her crazy right then and there.

"That being said," I started again, "it's hardly a proven theory. I don't think we should tell anyone else until we know a little bit more."

"Agreed. I can hardly grasp the concept and I might have experienced it first hand. I'm still not sure Lissa quite believes it either. Honestly, I thought you'd have me committed the moment I opened my mouth."

We both gave a small laugh, but it was more uncomfortable than anything else. It fell to an awkward silence for a moment or two before she spoke up.

"Thank you. I've been wanting to tell someone, but with everything happening, I couldn't even talk to Lissa. Even if you don't quite believe me, you listened," she smiled at me with gratitude. "I knew I could trust you."

I couldn't help but smile back at her. As crazy as everything seemed, she still trusted me enough to talk to me about it. She wanted us to work together to figure it out. It may not seem like much, but for two people who were used to relying more on themselves than anyone else, it was fairly significant. I appreciated that she came to me, and I recognized the desire within myself to help her as much as I could. The feeling left me with the urge to do something...sentimental. To seal that trust with an embrace or even a kiss. I settled and simply took her hand in mine, holding it while relishing the way that simple gesture made her face light up and my heart race.

"You can always trust me Rose, I'll always be here for you."


	20. The Calm Before the Storm

Schedules were shifted slightly for the Equinox Dance. I had an afternoon shift running the school perimeter before the dance started, and then the rest of the night off. It would be my first real night off duty in a while and I was already looking forward to spending some quiet time alone. Between training and the extra shifts watching over Lissa, I felt like I was constantly working. Usually, I didn't mind. Especially since "time off" wasn't really something that you got to enjoy during typical field work. I briefly humored the thought of how it was just another sign that Academy work was making me soft. Still, I was determined to enjoy the luxury while I could.

That morning, I had given Rose the afternoon off from practice because of the schedule change and so she had extra time to get ready for the dance. I would be good for her. Between classes and training, she didn't have nearly the amount of time most girls her age had to just be a normal teenager. It would be nice for her to enjoy an activity that didn't directly train her to eventually kill. Plus, I knew she had been looking forward to this with Lissa. Perhaps this could help them come together again. They were still having issues. I had hoped that the dance would cheer her up, but all she did was inform me that she was going to finish the paper that she had been working on yesterday wasn't planning on attending it at all.

I wanted to encourage her to go, but I knew that it wasn't my place. Plus, when her mind was made up, it was practically pointless to try to change it and this small matter wasn't worth the effort. Instead I just wished her a good evening watched her run off towards the rest of her day.

My perimeter shift was fairly quiet, just checking the wards surrounding the Academy and watching out for students sneaking away towards restricted areas. More often than not, checking the wards was simply a nice long walk around the woods surrounding the academy. The path was well worn from others who had made this walk before me. That was the most physical sign of the ward boundaries. The protective magic was a combination of the four elements: fire, water, air, and earth. Just like our stakes, they offered a protection from Strigoi, even though it didn't have a visable presence. Every other week, several of the Moroi teachers would renew the charm so that it stayed active. Since it wasn't tied to silver like our stakes, or gold like an alchemist's tattoo, the magic faded much quicker. To be completely broken was rare, mostly because there were only a few ways to do so. The most common way is to forcefully pierce the ward line with a charmed stake, but even that was unusual since Strigoi cannot handle stakes and the subtle compulsion infused into the ward line encouraged humans to move away from it. Still, a Moroi or dahmpir who had aligned themselves with the Strigoi in hopes of immortality could cause an issue, hence my current shift. Thankfully, nothing seemed out of the ordinary today, and the nice weather made the shift pass pleasantly. With the dance tonight, I knew whoever took over my position for the evening shift would have a much more exciting night. There were always more than a few after parties during events like these, and most of them tended to include alcohol.

While I couldn't really approve of students attending these parties now, I was still young enough to remember them fondly. I shook my head at the memories of my own Academy days and the few times Ivan managed to drag me to a party like the ones bound to pop up tonight. Like most older students, Ivan and I never really had much patience for the corresponding sanctioned dance or event, but we almost always made a short appearance since he was royal. After making the rounds, the rest of the night would be spent in an abandoned lounge or out in the woods with loud music and plenty of company. I wasn't one for heavy drinking (it seemed to trigger the worst in my father and I wasn't looking for a family resemblance) but even I would take a shot or two. Ivan tended to drink enough for both of us though. The closer to graduation we got, the more that I would lay off, just so I could keep an eye on him. He never became too out of control to the point where he would hurt himself or others, but after he proclaimed his undying love to three girls in one night – two of them being twin sisters he mistook for the other – I felt like he could use a sober conscience to keep him in check.

After graduation, I stopped drinking entirely with one exception: Ivan's death. Russian memorials often include quite a bit of vodka, and I am nothing if not a traditionalist. Occasionally, I missed the social aspect though. While field guardians don't usually drink because of the nature of their job, there is a bar at Court were many guardians tend to gather when off duty. I've been invited on several trips there, perhaps next time I'll accept. Rumor has it that they even have some decent Russian beers, though I doubt they'll compare to what we had back home.

The odd thought of dropping by Rose's dorm kept itching at me. I didn't relish the idea of her spending her evening locked away alone. It was so completely out of character for her. I was the one that enjoyed solitude, not her. She was the one that could electrify a room simply by walking into it. I was beginning to miss the wild girl that I had snatched from the streets of Portland.

As my shift ended and my replacement appeared, I clocked out over the headset. Before turning it off however, I heard Guardian Petrov request a short meeting with me in front of the hall where the dance would be taking place. I changed me direction slightly and made my way towards her.

* * *

Our meeting was short, just a few details about Vasilisa's increased guard and how it may shift a few schedules over the next week or so. Nothing about the matter was urgent, and I was more than ready to leave and enjoy my night off. As our short meeting came to an end, I heard a familiar sound that made my heart stop momentarily.

Rose was laughing, making her way towards the dance hand in hand with Mason Ashford. The conflict in emotions made it hard to think, much less speak or move. As much as I enjoyed the look of joy on Rose's face – something that had been absent far too often recently – my blood boiled to see that it was Mason who must have put it there. That feeling was nothing compared to the ones that lingered at the sight of him holding her hand though. It seemed innocent enough, in fact it seemed like he was only trying to steady her in her heels as they quickly made their way towards the dance, but he was still touching Rose. I was grateful for the fact that my well practiced guardian mask hid all expression from my face, because I was only a few moments away from ripping the two apart in an unhealthy surge of jealousy.

My distraction must have caught Alberta's attention because she was suddenly smiling at the pair. "Mr. Ashford, Miss Hathaway. I'm surprised you aren't already in the commons."

"Got delayed, Guardian Petrov." Mason gave her a sickly sweet smile. "You know how it is with girls. Always got to look perfect." His eyes swept towards Rose momentarily, confirming that he knew just as well as I did that she looked the epitome of perfection, before returning his focus on Alberta. "You especially must know about that."

I wanted to scoff at the boy's charming speech, but words were beyond me as I stared at Rose. It was probably too lingering and obvious, but I simply couldn't look away from her. I had never seen her dressed up like this before. She was beautiful running on the track with her hair pulled back and her face flushed in physical exertion. She was stunning as she moved between her classes in a simple tee shirt and pair of jeans. But the way she looked now had no words to properly describe her.

She was wearing the dress that she had picked up last weekend. Even on the hanger, I knew it would look amazing on her, but even my wildest imagination couldn't put together the vision in front of me. The black fabric clung to her curves, wrapping across her torso like an embrace. The hemline fell just before her knees as the light wind whipped the skirt around her legs. Her shoulders were bare since the neckline followed the gentle curve of her bust, allowing her tan skin to be enhanced by the golden rose necklace that settled gracefully on her chest. Her hair flowed down her back like a dark river, and it took the last ounce of my control not to step forward, wrap my fingers in it, and kiss her like I had so many times in my dreams. Instead, I simply stared in awe, burning the image into my memory.

And for some reason that was beyond me, she returned my stare. I felt like nothing compared to the goddess before me, but I had apparently captured her attention as much as she had captured mine. We were oblivious to the others around us, caught in our own little moment. My heart soared as she pulled her hand away from Mason's and gave me a faint smile.

When I heard him bid Alberta goodnight, I was able to break my eyes away from their wildly inappropriate lingering. Mason gently guided her away from us with a hand on her back, while Alberta's voice pulled me towards the guardian apartments. As must as it pained me, I let Rose walk away, towards the dance where she belonged. Guardian Petrov continued to speak, but her words held no meaning for me as my own self pity started to weigh on me. Rose was so close, so beautiful, but I was helpless to do anything about it. She could never be mine.

* * *

Alone in my apartment, my mind became a whirlwind. I had planned to simply read and relax tonight, indulging in some well deserved solitude and perhaps some food that I only allowed myself on the rare occasion. But I simply couldn't keep still. The faint romantic plot line in my novel seemed to overwhelm me. My heart was racing too much to try to sleep. Words, both English and Russian, escaped my mind and halted any attempt of writing home. The thought of food – no matter how indulgent – held no appeal for me.

I opted for a shower, hoping the water would calm my nerves and perhaps wipe my mind clean of the images that still floated in my mind. The steam clouded the room, but did nothing to clear my head. As the hot water flowed over me, I refused to allow my mind to wander like a hormonal teenager. I was better than that. More importantly, she was better than that. There were some boundaries that I refused to cross.

I attempted meditation instead, allowing the shower spray to focus my thoughts as images came to mind briefly before I envisioned them being washed away down the drain. It helped a little, if for no other reason than I was able to control my breathing and eventually get my heart rate to a normal pace. After a few more deep breaths, I turned off the water and dried off.

I still felt slightly restless, and considered heading towards the gym. I knew it would be practically abandoned at this time of night and I would be free to take my pent up frustrations out on the punching bag without witnesses. It was an attractive idea, but I knew that I would need a bit more fuel before heading over and decided to force down a small dinner before leaving. I threw on a pair of pajama bottoms and started towards my small kitchenette when I heard someone frantically beating on my door.

I paused before answering, wondering who would be dropping by tonight. Anyone on official guardian business would have called my cell phone, but it lay still on the table with no flashing lights to indicate a missed call. While I had become more social over the past few weeks, I wasn't in the habit of entertaining guests and I honestly doubted that many of the other guardians on campus even knew I occupied this address.

Still, the pounding continued. Hesitantly, I cracked open the door to peek at the late night intruder. The person that stood before me left me questioning my sanity. I opened the door further, taking her full appearance in. All the work I had done this evening to calm my heart and mind were suddenly useless. I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating, so I spoke her name softly in question.

"Rose?"


	21. The Lust Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some mature content. Nothing is overly graphic or crude, but some nudity is mentioned. Tread lightly if you wish to avoid it.

"Rose?" I asked, not entirely sure I wasn't hallucinating the girl just outside my door.

I stepped aside in a daze as she pushed her way into my room, not sparing a glance as spoke. "Let me in. It's Lissa."

Oh, Lissa. Of course. "What's wrong?" My guardian instincts started to kick in, slightly ashamed of myself for thinking that she would be here for any other reason. That is until I noticed the look in her eye.

It was a look that I didn't recognize in her. Sure, I had seen hints of it from time to time, but the intensity of her gaze was overwhelming. She was staring at me with pure, unadulterated desire.

I forgot anything else as I watched her eyes rake over my body. It wasn't the first time a woman had done so, but instead of feeling the usual self-consciousness or embarrassment by her obvious admiration, it felt thrilling to be longed-for by her. Her breathing, which had been labored by her earlier rush over here, was now heavy with want.

She met my eyes for only a brief moment, biting her bottom lip before looking down again. Such a simple action had my blood rushing, so much so that I didn't realize her stepping towards me with her hand extended towards my bare chest. I was barely in control as it was, and I knew her touch would be my undoing.

"Rose!" I jumped back, stepping just out of her reach. "What are you doing?"

She looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Perhaps it was. I could see she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. "What do you think?" She took another step towards me.

I moved back again, all too aware that I was getting closer to the bed. I suddenly cursed the fact that I had opted for one of the smaller studio apartments. I held my hand out, hoping to keep some distance and my sanity as she continued to move towards me.

 _What's going on with her?_  I wondered. She had occasionally made a flirtatious comment during training, but nothing overly inappropriate. She had never been so bold with me. In many other situations, I might have enjoyed her fearless advances, but this...this was wrong. I had to keep telling myself that. She is my student. She's underage. This is wrong. I have to stay in control.

"Are you drunk?" I kept repeating my mantra to myself.  _Stay in control. This is wrong. Stay in control._

"Don't I wish," she replied with a smirk. She paused, suddenly realizing my hesitation. "I thought you wanted to..." her earlier confidence gave way to uncertainty. "Don't you think I'm pretty?"

I could feel her self-doubt eat at my resolve.  _I think you're glorious. I think you're amazing. Stay in control. This is wrong. Stay in control._  I took a deep breath, gathering my rational thoughts as I fought my natural inclination.

"Rose, I don't know what's going on, but you need to go back to your room." I physically winced telling her this, but she couldn't know just how bad I wanted her to stay. I was backed up against my bed now, with no other place to go. I hoped that she would listen. Instead, she came closer.

I grabbed her wrists to stop her. I had fully intended to pick her up, throw her out the door, and lock it behind me if I needed to. However, the moment I touched her...I was lost.

I was lost in the feeling of her skin. I was lost in the look of her eyes. I was lost in the beauty of her hair, her smile, her body. I was totally and completely lost, and at that moment I knew with a strange certainty that Roza would be my only salvation.

I loosened my grip on her wrist and traced the soft tan skin of her arms, relishing in the sensation under my fingertips. I heard her breath hitch when I gently pulled her closer to me, feeling her body press against my own. I moved one hand down her back, holding her tight against me as the other snaked up her neck and into the dark hair that never failed to fascinate me. It felt so wonderful to finally feel those locks twisted around my fingers, but I knew that there was another urge that would feel even better to give in to.

I tipped her head back as I lowered my lips to hers, barely brushing against the velvet softness. The electric tingle that accompanied any touch between us seemed to surprise us both and I pulled back slightly.

With my earlier rejection, she still seemed a bit unsure of herself. Her voice was both pleading and uncertain as she asked again, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

How she could ever question such a thing was beyond me. I wanted to be positive that she would never doubt again so I spoke firmly. "I think you're beautiful."

"Beautiful?" My response seemed to astonish her.

Did she really not know how stunning she really was? It was beyond physical attraction, though that was more than enough to earn her such a title. Her beauty also included the fierce devotion to those she loved, her determination to succeed, the way she could captivate me with a single smile...

"You are so beautiful..." I thought of every time I had wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her. Every time I had been denying myself that pleasure. "...it hurts me sometimes."

I couldn't deny myself the pleasure again. I kissed her, the way I had wanted to for so long. It was gentle at first but as I felt her melt into my embrace, I became more eager. I heard and felt her quietly moan in pleasure against my lips as I pulled her tighter to me, close enough so that she must have felt her effect on me. The knowledge that she could stir such arousal in me, and the thought that I might be able to do the same for her, fueled the fire between us.

My hands slid down from her hip towards the edge of her dress. I allowed my fingertips to brush the smooth skin of her upper thigh before gathering the fabric in my hand and pulling it up. I couldn't stand to see her body covered anymore, not when I wanted nothing more than to explore every single inch of her. The dress was over her head and on the floor without a second thought.

She spoke as our lips parted briefly. "You...you got rid of that dress fast." Her voice was stuttered by her breathlessness, her chest heaving against my own. "I thought you liked it."

"I do like it," I couldn't help my smirk as I thought briefly about how amazing she looked in it, though it was nothing compared to how she looked now, nearly naked. "I love it."

I picked her up by the waist, spinning her around before placing her on my bed. I was already determined to enjoy every inch of her tonight. To make her mine as much as I was hers. I needed to act... to possess. As I laid her down underneath me, I took control.

My lips moved from hers, tracing her jaw and then her neck. I nipped at the soft skin near her collarbone, tempted to leave a mark. While we couldn't share our feelings publicly, a small mark would be more than enough to tell the world that she belonged to someone; that she belonged to me. Perhaps it would be worth it just to keep those other unworthy boys away from my Roza.

As I continued to worship her body with my lips, my kisses became punctuated with a chanting prayer of her name. I felt her writhe beneath me, apparently entranced and encouraged by my words.

The soft sigh that escaped her as my mouth explored the upper curve of her chest pushed me further and I reached behind her to unclasp the lace bra that hid her breasts from me. I was taken aback by her shock before I realized the reason for her hesitation. Pulling back from her, I recognized the look in her eyes. It was a shy excitement of the unknown. I had seen it once before, on another girl in another time. Rose's reputation was undeserved; she was a virgin.

The discovery caused me pause for a moment before my mind and heart raced with the thrill of the thought. I would be the first to see her, to touch her, to show her a pleasure beyond her wildest imagination. The idea sparked something primal within me.

She would be mine, and if I had my way, she would never be touched by another.

As I slipped the black lace away from her, she moved her arms to cover herself.

"No," I demanded softly, taking her hands and pinning them above her head. "You should never feel the need to hide from me."

I enjoyed the look of pleasant surprise that crossed her features for a moment before cupping one breast in my hand. Her soft flesh fit perfectly in my palm and I gave a gentle squeeze as I brushed the dusty pink peak of her nipple.

Her eyes rolled back as she arched herself into my touch. I loved seeing her respond to my ministrations and I couldn't wait to see how she would react to everything else I intended to do to her tonight. I bit back a laugh just thinking about it.

Wanting to test those reactions, I brought my mouth to her other breast, quickly circling her peak with my tongue before gently biting down on the pebbled flesh. Her deep moan elicited a groan from me as I pressed my hips against her in brief satisfaction.

 _Stay with her,_  a voice urged from the back of my mind.  _She is finally yours. Let go and give in. Keep her. Possess her. Stay with her._ I didn't need further encouragement. I would give into all my desires tonight, and fulfill all of hers. Still, I was in no hurry. I had waited so long for this moment, and I wanted it to last.

I rolled her on top of me, holding her by the hips to help guide her unconscious grinding against me. I returned my lips to hers, kissing her deeply and making sure she knew just how amazing she was to me. Our tongues danced in a battle for control before I took her bottom lip in between my teeth to claim my victory. Her submission only thrilled me more.

I loved the way she griped my shoulders or ran her fingers through my hair. I loved the way she looked at me and made me feel like I could do anything. I loved the way her body knew just how to please me, as if she was designed for me.

She broke away to catch her breath, and I took the opportunity to investigate the sensitive patch of skin behind her ear. Her dark hair hung down like a curtain shielding us away from the rest of the world. As I reach my head up to place another kiss on her neck, I heard her soft gasp accompanied by the gentle tickle of her fingertips at the back of my neck.

"Did you really kill six Strigoi?"

I gave a gentle hum and nodded, still fully entranced by the feeling of her skin against my lips.

"Wow."

The awe in her voice excited me, but not as much as the pressure of her body on mine. I swear that I could already feel her heat against me, even through the few remaining layers of clothing between us. Eager to end our conversation in favor of a more physical form of communication, I told her, "Don't worry. You'll have a lot more than me someday."

Our kissing continued, becoming more heated with each passing second. I was already lost in the moment when I heard her breathy whisper against my ear.

"Do you feel guilty about it?"

I paused, wondering if she meant the fact that I was fully aroused with her essentially naked on top of me in my bed.

"Killing them," she continued, pulling back so that I could see her face. "You said in the van that it was the right thing to do, but it still bothers you. It's why you go to church, isn't it? I see you there, but you aren't really into the services."

I smiled, slightly amused that she chose this moment as the most opportune time to discuss something like this, but still pleasantly surprised that she knew me well enough to recognize my inner thoughts in the first place.

"How do you know these things?" I asked rhetorically, shaking my head a little in disbelief. "I'm not guilty exactly...just sad sometimes. All of them used to be human or dhampir, or Moroi. It's a waste, that's all, but as I said before, it's something I have to do. Something we all have to do. Sometimes it bothers me, and the chapel is a good place to think about those kinds of things."

The understanding and acceptance in her eyes flooded me with warmth and comfort.

"Sometimes I find peace there, but not often." I gently brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. "I find more peace with you."

I quickly brought her down to me again. I was done talking. I wanted her. I needed her. I was determined to have her and show her just how much she meant to me. She was mine. I was hers.

In one quick motion, I was on top of her again. My mouth was nearly frantic against hers, desperate for more. It soon became studded with her moans and whimpers of pleasure and my hands continued to dance across her body. Her sounds only made me more urgent. If this is what happened with just a kiss and a touch, what would she do when I was inside of her? The thought of her crying out my name in ecstasy as she came nearly undid me right then and there. I couldn't wait any longer.

I sat up, ready to strip us of our last remaining clothing when I saw the consent in her eyes. She was not only ready for me, she was willing and excited for what I was about to do to her. I allowed myself to take in her body once more, and a sense of satisfaction overcame me as I realized that I was at least partially responsible for the amazing creature beneath me. She has always been beautiful, but our training together certainly had their perks: muscle tone, flexibility, stamina...

Her breath was heavy, and the necklace that Victor had given her sparked under the lamplight as her chest rose and fell. The sight of it twisted at my pride. I may never be able to afford such a trinket, but I knew I could still provide for Rose. Tonight, I would do everything in my power to give her more pleasure than any token money could buy.

I reached down, giving her a gentle kiss before removing the offending item and placing it on the nightstand beside us. The moment the chain slipped though my fingers, something changed.

Don't get me wrong, she was still completely beautiful laying exposed underneath me. I would be lying if I didn't say that I still wanted her. However, the sudden gravity of the situation was upon my shoulders in an instant.

"What happened?"

The question was mostly directed at myself, but Rose seemed as surprised and confused as I was when she answered. "I...I don't know."

I continued to stare at her, trying to piece together how we ended up in this position. I could fully remember every kiss, every touch, there was no doubt about that. What what harder to remember was how I let myself, let us, get to this point.

My mind felt fuzzy, as if I had been drugged. That was impossible though. Nobody could have slipped me something. Still, I didn't feel like I had full power over my thoughts and actions. It was as if something or someone had compelled me...the voice. The voice in my mind that had been pushing me further was gone.

I glanced at the necklace on the table. It was the last thing I had touched before regaining clarity. While the rose pendant itself was a golden hue, I suddenly noticed that there were some silver details on it, including the chain itself.

 _Could it be_ , I wondered,  _a charm?_  Charmed objects were generally rare, even more so when it came to charms that centered around compulsion. Compulsion via a charm held the same taboo as direct compulsion. Either way, it altered the choices and actions of those it targeted. All that aside though, charming objects was a difficult practice, not one that was generally taught. While all the pieces fit together, the rarity still left me uncertain. There was only one way to test the theory...

Careful not to touch Rose, though I was still straddling over her, I reached for the necklace again. As soon as I touched it, I could feel my want and desire for her build. My heart was immediately racing, and my mind was suddenly assaulted by the strange voice again.  _Let go. Give in. She's yours. You want her. Take her. Stay with her._

She was so incredibly beautiful. Even with her brows furrowed, trying to make sense of everything. My other hand brushed her skin, settling on her hip and I watched as the hungry desire flooded her. That longing – longing for me – made her even more irresistible in my eyes. I was hers. She was mine.

I brought my lips to hers again, brushing against them gently as I struggled to maintain control.

"Lissa," she whispered. "I have to tell you something about Lissa. But I can't...remember..."

I kissed her with a bit more eagerness. Something deep inside me wanted her to stop talking, even though I knew what she said was important.

"Dimitri." My name brought be out of the fog just long enough to meet her eyes. "I feel so strange..."

The tone in her voice sobered me. It wasn't filled with the same awe, desire, confidence, and excitement that it had been before. No, this time she sounded worried. Scared even. It was like a bucket of ice water being dumped on me.

 _I can't do this._ The realization pained me. As much as I wanted her, as much as it seemed like she wanted me, this was wrong. Under the compulsion charm, I didn't truly have her consent. Taking her like this would be unforgivable.

"I know," I sighed, resting my cheek against her forehead. I wasn't ready to let go of her quite yet, but I knew I couldn't go further. "There's something...something here..."

I sat back, hoping some distance would offer some relief. "This necklace. Is it the one Prince Victor gave you?"

She nodded as I tried to gather the resolve I needed. Taking a deep breath, I pushed away from her and moved off the bed taking the necklace with me.

"What are you doing?" I felt her hand grasp mine. Her voice was desperate and pleading. "Come back..."

I looked back at her. I wanted nothing more than to give in to her request and fulfill both of our desires. If it had truly been her speaking to me, I would be. But I couldn't. Not like this. It was wrong. It took every ounce of dedication I had, but I turned away from her and started walking to the window.

I could still hear Rose calling to me, as well as the animalistic urge within me pulling me back towards her. My fingernails bit into my hand as I grasped the necklace and I could already feel a headache forming from the way I clenched my jaw.

Finally, after what seemed to be the longest and most pain-filled journey of my life, I reached the bedroom window. I threw it open as quickly as I could.

"What are you going to..." She finally realized what I was doing and I heard the bed springs creek as she moved out of the bed and rushed towards me.

 _Don't hesitate._  I threw the cursed pendent out the window. It fell into some bushes a few floors below.

"No!" Rose was suddenly beside me at the window. Thankfully, nobody was outside. She turned on to face me, confusion and shock still lacing her features. "Do you know how much that must have..."

She trailed off as she came to her senses, looking around the room and then back at me when she realized what had almost happened between us. She took a step back, covering herself as best as she could with her hands.

My heart sunk at the the way she reacted to me. If I questioned my choice before, I was certain now. She didn't want me. I had taken advantage of her. As she fell back into a chair, she actually looked somewhat scared. God, I was so ashamed of myself. I was a horrid person, and even begging for her forgiveness wouldn't be enough.

"Lissa!" she gasped. I was pulled from my self-loathing at the reminder of her original purpose for coming. I could see her pupils dilate and contract as she tried to remain in control of her mind long enough to explain her abduction.

She hadn't even finished speaking before I was dressed. My mind briefly recognized the fact that I had stripped further in front of Rose when I changed from my cotton sleep pants and into the clothing I had been wearing earlier during my perimeter shift. Luckily, she didn't seem to notice. It seemed like she was avoiding looking at me just as much as I was avoiding looking at her.

She was still naked, and while I don't think she quite realized her state of undress, my perverted mind was still struggling to focus. I picked up her dress from the floor, and tossed it towards her, ordering her to get dressed. Briefly remembering the way she looked in the dress (not to mention how she looked out of the dress) I offered her one of my sweatshirts as additional cover.

As soon as she was decent enough, we started moving. On a typical run, she was more than able to keep pace with me, so I was surprised to see her falling slightly behind. I thought she might have been hurt, but quickly realized that she was barefoot.  _Of course,_  I thought.  _She had been wearing heels when she arrived. She couldn't exactly run in those._

I was calling the Guardian Office as we ran. Alberta and several others would meet us there. Rose followed me the entire way and I was simply thankful that nobody questioned her presence.

I repeated what Rose had told me: Vasilisa had left the dance early and ran to the chapel attic before she was abducted.

Several other guardians and even a few teachers that were present were skeptical. Someone mentioned her extra protection and how abduction would be practically impossible considering the circumstances. Still, Guardian Petrov sent someone to investigate the attic while they tried to contact Spiridon on his phone since he was assigned to her private detail tonight.

I think they started to get nervous when he didn't answer, and when Yuri and another guardian walked in with in with a newly conscious Christian Ozera they finally started listening to us.

"How many Strigoi were there?" one questioned.

"How did they get in?" another muttered under her breath.

Rose's voice broke through the chaos. "Wh-? There weren't any Strigoi."

Every eye turned on her.

"Who else would have taken her?" Questioned Kirova, clearly disbelieving. "You must have seen it wrong through the...vision." She said the last word with the same dismissive tone one would discuss ghosts or other impossible occurrences.

"No." She asserted. "I'm positive. It was...they were..." Her hesitation confused me. She had never told me who took Lissa...why would she hide it? She took a deep breath before finishing. "Guardians."

Several in the room started speaking, all rejecting her claims. Even I was tempted to. It went against everything a guardian was taught...

"She's right," mumbled Christian as he winced under Dr. Olendzki's care. "Guardians."

"That's impossible."

"They weren't school guardians." The relief was minimal, and I could still see her desperately fighting for control of her mind as Lissa's emotions pulled her in momentarily. She looked up, snapping in irritation, "Will you guys get moving? She's getting further away!"

Me, Alberta, and a few others stared making for the door, but not everyone was convinced.

"You're saying a group of privately retained guardians came in and kidnapped her?" asked Headmistress Kirova, as if it was all some sort of joke.

Now I was starting to get irritated. I understood some of their hesitance, but this was becoming ridiculous. Rose had led us to Lissa several times before, it didn't make sense for her to make something like this up. My irritation was short lived though, because at the moment Rose lost the battle of her mind and was pulled into Lissa. Several witnesses gasped as she stated blankly at us, looking but not seeing. I knelt beside her, taking her hand and hoping to ground her to reality.

She returned within moments. "They work for Victor Dashkov. They're his."

Someone in the room scoffed, but I was now looking at Alberta. I could see the same realization strike her that had stricken me. Spriridon was employed by Victor Dashkov, and he had volunteered to watch Lissa tonight. Now we couldn't reach him. The puzzle was coming together.

"Please," Rose was moaning, as if she was in pain trying to focus on those around her. "Do something. They're getting so far away. They're on..." She closed her eyes briefly, "Eighty-three. Heading South."

This time it was Alberta who spoke up. "Eighty-three already? How long ago did they leave? Why didn't you come sooner?"

My eyes met with Rose's, and I knew that we shared a brief moment of guilt. It was our fault that they had gotten so far away, but we couldn't tell them why. Rose looked desperate for something to say but fell short so I answered instead.

"A compulsion spell." It was partly true at least. "A compulsion spell put into the necklace he gave her. It made her attack me."

"No one can use that kind of compulsion," exclaimed the Headmistress, still dismissing the entire notion. "No one's done that in ages."

I stepped away from Rose and stood at my full height in front of Kirova. "Well someone did." I relished in the brief look of intimidation that the harsh edge in my voice summoned. "By the time I restrained her and taken the necklace, a lot of time had passed."

Nobody questioned us further.


	22. Search and Rescue

I was already pulling Rose towards the SUV, not waiting for anyone to argue further. Guardian Petrov instructed Rose to return to her dorm, but I insisted on taking her along. We had already wasted enough time and Rose could lead us to the princess faster than anyone else.

As the team was dividing between the vehicles, Rose pulled me to the side.

"An attack charm?" she questioned in a hushed whisper. I knew she wanted more information, but I didn't miss the slight smirk at my choice of description.

"Rose, now is not the time..." I really didn't want to talk about this, not now and honestly, not ever. A part of me was more than willing to simply forget the entire night ever happened. The other part of me was desperately holding on to the memory knowing that I may never have a chance to be that close to her again.

She continued to stare at me a moment longer, before she nodded in agreement and began to turn away. The others were still filling into the SUVs, so I grabbed her by the shoulders, leaning in so we wouldn't be overheard. I owed her at least some sort of explanation.

"The necklace was charmed with a type of earth magic. It's a form of compulsion that you don't see anymore. Of course, it wasn't an attack spell but a..." I hesitated, checking again to make sure that nobody would hear me, "...a lust one."

Her eyes widened, and I could see more questions forming on her tongue, but the sound of slamming car doors halted our conversation.

"Get in, we need to go." I instructed. I pushed her into the passenger seat before jumping in as the driver. Alberta joined us, sitting behind Rose.

She and I took the lead car, driving in silence except for the occasional direction from her. I could see that she was just as worried as I was about Lissa, but I wouldn't be surprised if her mind was also racing as much as mine was with...other thoughts. Flashes and images of the evening kept appearing, but I continued to push them aside. I needed to focus now.

"They're still on eighty-three...but their turn is coming. They aren't speeding. They don't want to get pulled over."

I didn't look at her, but I nodded and pressed on the gas pedal a bit more. I didn't push it too far, just enough to close some of the distance that we lost.

From the corner of my eye, I could see her staring at me; watching me. I knew she was confused. I knew she was scared. A part of me wanted to reach out to her, but...I was just as scared and confused as she was.

I knew how the charm worked and what that meant for us. It was fueled by the desire between two people. If there was no feelings, there was no power. The stronger the feelings, the stronger the power. This charm was strong. Perhaps it should be a comfort me to know that she cared for me as much as I cared for her, but it wasn't. The knowledge just made things more complicated.

I wish I could pretend that the charm created those emotions, but I knew it didn't. It didn't even exaggerate them. Those feelings, those words, those actions...they had come from us. All the charm did was remove the inhibitions that were holding us back, letting us express ourselves...freely.

"They're turning. I can't see the road name, but I'll know when we're close."

I grunted in acknowledgment, still not looking over. Was this how it was going to be from now on? This awkwardness?

How could I keep this professional front with her? I couldn't even look at her without seeing her naked and in my arms. It had been so much easier to pretend that there was nothing between us before tonight. Sure, there was a moment or two of flirtation, but we had been able to generally work together. I could pretend it was one sided, or that she had nothing more than a school girl crush, or that I was just lonely. I know better now. A crush or loneliness couldn't produce the effect that the charm unleashed tonight.

How could I train her and work along side her when I knew that she cared about me, that she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. If I couldn't even look at her, how could I talk to her? How could I handle the physical contact that our trainings would require. It was hard enough before, now it would be impossible...

"There!" her shout brought me out of my thoughts just in time to make the turn. The rough road spit rocks back in a dust cloud as we tried to keep up our pace. The silence in the car was now overwhelmed by the sound of crunching gravel.

"They're turning again," she said after a moment or two. She continued to give me directions, turning here and there, until she finally sat up. "They're outside a small cabin. They're taking her –"

She cut off suddenly, falling back against the seat.

"Rose? Rose!" I shook her arm, trying to get her to say something, but she remained quiet. Alberta continued our attempts to rouse her but she was unreachable. She must have been pulled into Lissa. I knew she had been fighting the princess's emotions all evening, but something strong could still trap her. I didn't want to picture what that meant for them both.

I pressed down on the gas a little more. "Don't worry Roza," I whispered, more to myself than to her. "We're almost there."

I tried to follow the last directions that Rose had given me, hoping they would be able to guide us the rest of the way. Thankfully, I could see on the GPS that there were only a few cabins in this area, and we had a pretty decent description of the cars that Victor and his men had left in. If I could spot their cars from the road, we would be fine.

After about ten minutes, I was starting to get worried about Rose. This had been the longest she had been inside Lissa's mind, at least that I had witnessed, and I was beginning to wonder if this could have long term effects on her. She remained fairly quiet, occasionally murmuring something incoherent or changing her facial expression, but nothing that told me anymore about what was going on.

Suddenly, she screamed. I reacted poorly, veering into the next lane before quickly righting us again. When I looked over, my heart was ripped from my chest. Rose was still screaming. Not in surprise, not in fear, but in pain. Anguish. It was as if she was being killed right beside me by some unknown demon. Her hands were tangled in her hair, pressing against her head. Her eyes were pressed shut. I couldn't tell if she was present in her own mind or Lissa's but her turmoil was clear.

I started to pull over, desperate to find some way to help her. She must have had some presence of mind because she felt the car start to slow.

"No, no!" she instructed through clenched teeth. "Keep going! We have to get there!"

Alberta did what she could to comfort her from the back seat, glancing at me occasionally while I tried to focus my attention between Rose and the road.

"Rose," Alberta pleaded, placing a hand on her shoulder. "What's happening?"

Tears were now streaming down Rose's face, and she was desperately struggling to speak. "They're torturing her...with air. This guy...Kenneth...he's making it press against her...into her head." She pulled at her hair again, shifting in her seat like she was trying to escape. "The pressures insane. It feels like my – her – head is going to explode."

I wished desperately that I could take some of this pain from her. That I could offer her relief, but I knew that relief would only come when we stopped the bastard that was torturing Vasilisa, and Rose by extension. I pressed the gas pedal down harder, now going as fast as I could along the gravel road despite the legal speed limit.

Moments later, Rose went from holding her head to gasping for breath. She was suffocating and there was nothing I could do. I prayed that both girls would be able to hold on. Alberta held on to Rose, trying to ground her in reality, but she seemed to be drifting between the two minds without control.

Then it stopped. Rose's eyes snapped open beside me, full of clarity and determination. I was grateful that her torture seemed to have ended, until she started relaying what was happening at the cabin.

Victor had indeed taken Vasilisa. He wanted her to heal him of his chronic illness so that he could rise to power at court. Because it was a chronic disease, it would require continual healing over time. He was planning on keeping her prisoner. Alberta asked how it was possible for Lissa to heal him and Rose related some of what she had told me before. Victor had confirmed her theory that Lissa was not only able to heal, but bring back the dead using a magic element called Spirit. She insisted that St. Vladimir and her old teacher, Sonya Karp, had also been Spirit Users. She told Alberta that her bond had been formed with Lissa when she unknowingly brought Rose back from death after the car accident. I had to admit that Guardian Petrov was handling this information quite well. I was muttering the occasional Russian curse under my breath as she explained everything. Apparently, Lissa had resisted Victor's offer to heal him, resulting in her torture until she finally gave in. Rose had been trapped in her mind the entire time, only breaking free when Lissa had passed out.

"We're close now Dimitri, very close." I almost laughed at the realization that she was trying to comfort me. She had been trapped and tortured in her best friend's mind and she was worried about my reaction.

"How close?"

"Just under a quarter mile perhaps? It's up on the left."

I could see the turn off ahead of us, and pulled to the side of the road. Alberta was already speaking to the others in convoy through the radio headset. More than a dozen of us discussed a brief strategy while sending someone up ahead to get a bit more information on the situation. As soon as Yuri returned, we were ready to go.

I heard Rose's car door open, and I gently pushed her back inside. "No, Roza. You need to stay here." I knew she wanted to help, but I needed to know that she was safe. The safest place for her was to stay put.

"The hell with that," She protested. "I have to go help her."

I moved my hands from her shoulders to her face, gently cupping her cheek in my palm like I had done just a few hours ago. I fought the urge to kiss her as I spoke. "You have helped her. Your job is done. You did it well. But this isn't any place for you. She and I both need you to stay safe."  _Especially me._

I didn't say the last part aloud, but I think a part of her knew what I had thought anyways. She nodded, gently brushing one of my hands before I nodded back and turned to join the others. I just prayed that she would listen and stay in the car.

The group was divided into three teams. One would surround the cabin, another would go in and be primarily in charge of dispatching or detaining threats, while Alberta and I were to find and extract the princess. Since she had been initially taken by Guardians, we thought she would be more willing to cooperate with someone she recognized and trusted. For the moment though, all three teams were making out way on foot to the cabin, moving swiftly through the thick trees.

My focus was compromised though. I kept thinking about Rose. We didn't have any guardians to spare, but I felt uncomfortable leaving her alone without protection. I tried to shake the worry though. I needed to get over it. In less than six months, she would be a promised guardian working right along side me. I couldn't be worried about her going into these situations. She would face enemies worse than what we were up against tonight. She would be in just as much danger as the rest of us, but I would need to concentrate on the safety of myself and my charge. Even now, I was already compromising Princess Vasilisa's safety by worrying about Rose.

As the cabin came into view, I pulled my firearm. It felt heavy and somewhat awkward in my hand. I was so used to the simplicity of the stake, that even my pistol seemed overly complex. It would be the most effective tool for this mission though. We weren't up against Strigoi, we were against some of our own. The thought made my stomach knot. These were men and women who had trained and promised to protect the Moroi and they were torturing a young girl. I took a deep breath, ready to honor my promise.

We took our places, and Alberta started the count down. As soon as she finished, the chaos started. I was positioned near the front entrance, and made my way inside moments after the door was kicked down. I could hear a second door burst open around back, plus a few windows being broken on the first floor by the surrounding team to help cause confusion for the suspects inside.

Several of the enemy guardians were taken down in the first few seconds, as well as one of our own. I dispatched any target directly in front of me, but my eyes were searching for only one person. Lissa wasn't in the first room, nor the kitchen, so I made my way up the staircase with Petrov covering me.

All the while, I could hear chatter through my ear piece. Victor and the other Moroi man were already detained without injury, Victor's personal guardian Ben was knocked unconscious but still breathing, and two other guardians he hired were dead from fatal gunshot wounds. Thankfully, our team had no fatalities yet. The guardian I had seen go down earlier was suffering from a gunshot wound that grazed the shoulder, but it was minor as far as gun wounds could go.

The initial scouting from Yuri had identified Victor, Kenneth, and at least five guardians. We were still missing two of them and I tensed in anticipation. They could be outside, but since we had yet to locate Vasilisa, I was prepared to meet them on the other side of any door up here.

The first door, a bathroom, was empty.

The second held a guardian who immediately followed my instruction to get on the floor as soon as I started shouting. He seemed a bit dazed, as if he didn't hear any of the commotion downstairs. I kept my gun trained on him while Alberta pulled out her cuffs to secure him and bring him downstairs. As soon as he was eliminated as a threat, I took a closer look around the room.

There was a small single bed pushed against one wall, with the blankets ruffled as if someone had been recently laying on it. I felt the covers with the back of my hand and could still feel a light warmth. I doubted that the guardian was the one who had been resting while all this was going on, so I reasoned that it was Lissa. She had been here recently. That's when I saw the open window. I had only just walked over there when I heard the door shut.

I turned just in time to see Spiridon lock his gun on a target: me. Mine was aimed within a second later.

"Where is she?" I asked. "Where is the Dragomir Princess?"

"Hell if I know, Dimitri. I left her right here a few minutes ago." He gestured to the bed I had been investigating moments ago. "Probably should have known better than to leave her with the temporary help."

If he didn't know where she was, then I had no business being here any longer. I needed to find a way to neutralize him and find my charge. Killing him would be the easy route, but there had already been so much unnecessary death that I preferred to keep him alive if possible.

"Lower your gun, Spiridon. You don't have to do this. Surrender and perhaps we could work something out. You were only following orders, I understand. You can still have a future as a guardian. Victor is already detained. The area is surrounded. You have no way out. Just lower your weapon."

He gave a deep sigh, dropping his pistol to the ground and kicking it towards me before putting his hands up in surrender. Seeing no other firearms on him, I stepped over his gun and holstered my own, reaching for my hand cuffs.

I had no sooner grasped his wrist before he swung around to knock them away and started attacking me, catching me by surprise. I blocked each one of his maneuvers, slowly moving away from him and waiting for an opening to go on the offensive. He was like a cornered wild animal though, willing to do anything to get away. A swift kick knocked me back against a wall and he managed to get me into a headlock.

"Why would I want to remain a guardian?" He hissed in my ear. "You know what it's like. We dedicate our lives to them and they treat us like livestock! I'm tired of it and I know you are too. Victor has promised us freedom, Dimitri. We can make our own choices, live our own lives! Don't tell me you haven't craved that."

I struggled against his arm that was cutting off my oxygen.

He lowered his voice and continued. "I know what you want, even if you wont admit it. I see how you look at Rose. Do you really want to send her into this life, Belikov? Sure, it's a step above being a blood-whore, but either choice will eventually kill her and you know that. Wouldn't you rather her live a normal life? Freedom, marriage, family?" I didn't even realize that I had stopped fighting as his words sank in, but Spiridon did. "Wouldn't you like to  _give_  her those things?"

The idea intrigued me for a moment, only because my private thoughts mirrored this farfetched ideal. I'd never admit it out loud, but there was a part of me that hated this life. I resented the label automatically given to my mother and sisters, even if they did nothing to earn it. I hated the way that we were treated by those who employed us because they often saw us as second class citizens or worse. Even Princess Vasilisa abused her position over Rose on occasion and they were practically raised together. Rose. The thought of her gave me more pause than anything else. I was fretting over Rose's safety less than an hour ago. Before that, I had been lamenting the fact that we couldn't be together, despite how much we cared for each other. If there was a chance I could change that...would I? For her? For us?

I felt Spiridon's grasp loosen as he shifted. It wasn't much, but it was enough for me to realize what he was going to do. I quickly pulled away and out of the headlock as he reached for his stake. Moments later, a shot rang out and echoed against the bare walls.

I could see the thin wisps of smoke coming from the chamber of my pistol. Beyond that, Spiridon slowly recognized his blood seeping into his shirt. It wasn't perfect shot resulting in instant death, but my aim was true and he only had a few more moments left. He leaned against the window frame as his strength started failing him and did the last thing I expected...

He smiled.

Something outside must have caught his attention, and with his last struggling breaths, he taunted me.

"Looks like Prince Victor has already called in the hounds." As he turned away from the window and looked back towards me, I wondered if the blood loss was already getting to him. What he had said made no sense to me, but his next words did. "It looks like they've taken quite a liking to your little girlfriend."

 _Rose_.

Spiridon's breathing stopped before I made it to the window. Outside, in a clearing a few hundred yards away and invisible from the ground floor, I could see what had caught his attention. Vasilisa was backed against a large tree and looked like she was seconds from passing out. And then there was Rose, preparing to fight off four large psi-hounds with nothing more than a large branch. Why hadn't I armed her? I watched as the first one lunched towards her and started shouting into the radio as I ran out of the room and down the stairs.

"I've located Princess Dragomir. She and Novice Hathaway are in a clearing off the South-East corner of the house, about 200 yards out. Be aware that there are four psi-hounds as well. I repeat, four psi-hounds off the South-East corner about 200 yards out."

Nobody responded vocally but I could hear several guardians rushing towards the scene. I passed a few of them as I made my way towards Rose, and I heard a few several gunshots ahead.

They came just into view as Alberta lowered her firearm. All four psi-hounds lay motionless on the floor, along with another form. A Moroi form. I could see both Rose and Lissa making their way towards the unknown body before I recognized the dark mop of hair as Christian Ozera. I had no idea how he had gotten here, but he was in a much worse condition than either of the two girls. If he wasn't dead yet, he didn't have much longer.

Though he wasn't directly under my care like Lissa or Rose, I still felt some responsibility towards him. I had promised Tasha that I would keep and eye out for him. He was essentially the last of her family, and he would most likely be dead by morning.

Our group was now close enough to witness the scene before us, though the girls did nothing to acknowledge the dozen or so guardians surrounding them.

"I can't. I don't have the strength left." Lissa's voice was barely a whisper as she hovered above Christian. I could see how weak she was. Between the full strength of the sun, her magic use earlier, not to mention her capture and torture, it was no surprise.

Alberta, with as much compassion as possible, knelt beside her and tried to urge her away from the dying boy. "Come on Princess. We need to get out of here. We'll send help."

I could see one of the guardians next to me look away. We were all aware that help wouldn't arrive before the boy died. His injuries from the psi-hounds were too extensive. Even now, his chest barely moved as he fought for each breath.

"Liss." Rose's voice caught my attention. She didn't say anything else, but she simply moved her long hair to the side and tilted her neck towards Vasilisa.

I knew immediately what she was offering, as did the one or two other guardians who had witnessed this in Portland. The others took a sharp breath of shock as Lissa leaned towards her friend and bit down.

It only lasted a few seconds, but you could almost see the strength flow from Rose and into Lissa. By the end, Rose was the one that needed Alberta's support to keep from falling. Though she didn't recognize it, I was by her side a moment later, holding Rose in my arms as we both took in the miraculous scene.

Lissa knelt over Christian's broken body and placed her hands against his head and chest. The boy must have only have a few seconds of life in him, but moments later the group gasped as Christians wounds started closing. The color returned to his face, his breathing becoming stronger and less labored. Finally, his eyes fluttered open.

Rose gave a weak but content sigh before going limp in my arms. I quickly checked her pulse and found it fairly strong, all things considered. She was suffering from some minor scratches and bite marks, but I was pretty certain that her unconscious state was due to tiredness and the Moroi bite more than anything else.

I lifted her up, grateful for the chance to hold her safe and secure, and started walking back towards the vehicles. Alberta assisted Christian who could now walk fairly well, and Yuri carried the barely conscious Lissa.

Several other guardians had arrived to take care of the remaining captives and corpses, and I knew clean up would take a while longer, but Alberta and I left early with the students so that they could receive the medical care they needed. Once Christian was settled into the middle row fairly comfortably, we maneuvered Lissa beside him and he wrapped a protective arm around her as she slept. He understandably looked fairly tired himself, and I wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep once we got moving.

With only a bit of struggle, I made my way into the back seat with Rose, opting to keep her cradled in my lap rather than placing her beside me. I'm sure Alberta noticed, but she didn't comment and I didn't care. As we made the drive back, I was content to be soothed by her steady breathing and the scent of her hair. She appeared worse off than the others, but I knew she would pull through. She always did. My Roza was strong.

I was counting on that trait when I broke her heart tomorrow.


	23. Accepting Reality

Vasilisa, Christian, and Rose were taken to the academy clinic for the night. While Rose was still unconscious, Dr. Olendzki believed it was from exhaustion more than anything else and she would be fine within a day or two. It was a similar story for Lissa, though she had already woken up long enough to give an official statement. Christian also gave a statement.

The rest of the team had cleaned up the scene at Prince Victor's cabin and escorted the captured suspects to the small and rarely used detention center on campus. It was older, and only had three cells, but there was rarely a need for one cell, much less all three. Victor was being kept in the smaller but more private cell apart from the other suspects down the hall. Not only did this keep him from conspiring with the others, it also kept him out of earshot of his daughter Natalie who had been holding a near constant vigil outside the center.

I felt and odd conflict of emotion for the young girl. She was heavily involved in many aspects leading up to the kidnapping, much more than I would have initially expected when we questioned her. She was primarily responsible for killing and placing the animals that tormented Lissa, and when that wasn't enough to persuade Lissa to heal, she used magic to rot the bench which broke Rose's ankle. I also suspected that it was either her or Spiridon that had tipped Victor off to the less than conventional relationship between Rose and I, though that fact never came to light. As much as I despised her actions, I also could see that she was heavily manipulated. From what I had seen on the mall outing only a few weeks ago, Natalie would do nearly anything to gain the attention and acceptance of her father. He was the mastermind, she was simply another pawn. For that, I pitied her.

That by no means meant that she didn't deserve some form of punishment for her actions, especially when they had hurt so many. We had no room left to place her in one of the detention cells, so until a representative from the Court Justice Department could take her and the others back for disciplinary action, she was under 24 hour guard.

I visited Rose in the clinic while she was unconscious, but when I heard that she had woken up and given her statement, I couldn't bring myself to see her. I knew that I needed to talk to her eventually, but it became harder to do so as each day passed. I avoided her and canceled our practices under the guise of finishing up paperwork. It was a cowardice excuse, but I wasn't ready to face her.

Part of the difficulty was that I wasn't sure how to approach the subject of what had transpired between us. Some lines were easy to draw. What had happened in my room was wrong and could not happen again. The memories haunted me.

After we had returned home from the rescue and I had been seen for a few minor injuries, I was ready to pass out and try to forget everything until morning. My plan had been turned completely on it's head when I walked in to my room and found Roza's shoes kicked off near the edge of my bed. The sheets were still rumpled from our encounter and I ended up eventually sleeping on the floor when the memory of her naked beneath me became too much for me to handle. The scent of her shampoo still lingered on my pillow, but it was unclear if that made things better or worse that night.

While it was easy to see that our actions that night – compelled or not – were unacceptable, there were a few other clear lines in the sand. Kissing her and any other physical form of affection was off the table, no matter how small. The same went for opening up to her emotionally. I had allowed myself to become much more personal with her than I ever should have. While the companionship had felt nice, the end result was disastrous. I should have kept things more professional and never overstepped that mentor boundary. I was there to train her, nothing else.

Trainings...that line was unclear. I honestly didn't know if I could continue training her, but I wasn't sure what that meant for us. I don't mean  _us_  together, but individually. Rose still hadn't quite caught up to her classmates and since our extra trainings were a large condition of her enrollment and graduation, I wasn't sure that she would be allowed to stay without them. You would think that her involvement during Princess Vasilisa's rescue would be more than enough to secure her stay, but Headmistress Kirova may still be looking for any excuse to get rid of her. Refusing to train her – or worse, finding out  _why_  I was refusing to train her – would result in her expulsion. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't be the reason her career was ruined before it ever started.

At the same time, I couldn't sacrifice my own career either. It was selfish, but I didn't want to damage my own reputation or position that I had worked hard for. Revealing my indiscretion with Rose would do both. Refusing to continue our trainings and asking for a transfer would also. Not only would that bring up difficult questions, it would also mean losing my job as Lissa's primary guardian. Such as position was almost unheard of for someone as young as I was. My pride didn't want to let go of that. However, that also meant staying close to Rose, who was even more likely to become her guardian after graduation now that their bond was becoming more well known. If it was difficult to be near her now, what would happen in the future?

On the fourth day after the rescue, my decision was made for me. I had been at the official debriefing earlier that day. The statements from Rose, Vasilisa, and Christian were discussed as well as the eye witness accounts of several guardians, including myself. We not only talked about what Prince Victor had done, but why he had done it. He had already confessed that he tortured Lissa to get her to heal him. Her healing power became common knowledge among the administration, as did the reason behind Rose and Lissa's bond. Many were still skeptical about the use of "Spirit" as it was now called, but most were convinced after Vasilisa offered a live demonstration and healed a small cut on my arm.

Even though Victor's confession should have made this a fairly open-and-shut case, it was clear to me that it would be a long process. Between Victor's standing as a well known and titled Royal, the discovery of a new element of Magic that hasn't been recognized in decades, and several other challenging facets, it would be months or perhaps years before a final verdict would be given. While I would surely need to give testimony once or twice more, I was glad that my role in all this was over for the most part. I was even more grateful that Rose and the other students involved wouldn't be burdened any longer.

Once the debriefing was over, I made my way to the gym. I had a few hours before my evening shift, and since classes were out for the day, I was fairly certain I would have the place to myself. I was only there about ten minutes before I heard the doors swing open. I automatically turned towards the unexpected sound, only to be shocked still as Rose walked in. It took her a second to notice me, but when she did, I felt sick to my stomach.

She didn't look at me with anger, or annoyance, or happiness, or even hope. Any of those would have been somewhat expected. What I didn't expect was for her to look at me with hesitance. Perhaps even fear. She was afraid of me, and after what I had nearly done to her, I didn't blame her. Her shock and fear was soon masked, but I knew I had seen it, and I knew what I had to do. I shouldn't be around her anymore, especially if I made her uncomfortable. I needed to fall on the sword, so to speak. I was older than her and responsible for her, I was the one that should have stopped whatever was forming between us long ago. I would sacrifice my career for her. I wasn't sure what the fall out would entail for me, but I knew that this was the one way that I would ensure all the blame for our actions and she would be able to continue her life without much struggle.

She was still frozen in place as I walked towards her slowly. I wasn't sure how close she would allow me to come, but I couldn't afford for us to be overheard either. She didn't step away from me. In fact, she looked more surprised than sacred by my advances. For one brief moment, I wondered if I had misinterpreted the look that I had seen just moments before. Perhaps she was only surprised to see me after I had been avoiding her.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it didn't matter. There was no way that we could continue on after what had happened, and I was the one who should shoulder the blame for it. Even before falling prey to the lust charm, I had allowed things to go too far. I would pay the price, not her.

"Rose, you need to report what happened. With us."

She looked confused for a second as she soaked in what I was asking her to do. It wasn't long though before she started shaking her head in protest. "I can't do that," she insisted. "They'll fire you. Or worse."

"They should fire me. What I did was wrong."

"You couldn't help it. It was the spell..."

"It doesn't matter." I cut her off a bit more harshly than I meant to, and I saw her wince slightly. I hated seeing her like this around me, knowing that it was my fault. "I was wrong," I continued. "And stupid."

 _I'm an idiot,_  I thought as I watched her try to hide her eyes from me, biting her lip and turning away. I fought the urge to comfort her, then chastised myself for having that urge in the first place.  _How did I let things get so out of hand?_

After a moment, she spoke again, not quite looking at me. "Look, it's not a big deal."

"It  _is_ a big deal! I took advantage of you!" I could hear my voice raising slightly, not because I was mad at her, but because I was mad at myself. Sure, I was annoyed that she was downplaying the horror of what I had almost done, but I knew that was partly because of her own insecurity. She was used to being seen and treated as nothing more than a piece of meat to guys. Most didn't care one bit about how amazing she really was, they just wanted to use her. I hadn't treated her any better.

"No. You didn't." She spoke firmly, as if she was trying to reassure me.

Perhaps I hadn't taken complete advantage of her that night, and perhaps I could be offered some mercy because of the charm, but she didn't understand that I had been willing to. That wasn't something created by the charm. Somewhere inside of me, I had wanted to be with her. If I was truly honest with myself...I still did. I wanted her to know how much I really cared about her, to tell her verbally and to show her physically. Maybe under different circumstances it would have been possible, but fate wasn't kind to us.

"Rose, I'm seven years older than you. In ten years, that won't mean so much, but for now, it's huge. I'm an adult. You're a child."

I saw her flinch at my use of the word 'child' and was about to clarify that I only meant it legally. However, her anger beat me to the punch.

"You didn't seem to think I was a child when you were all over me."

I flinched this time. The way she said it was so vulgar and demeaning to how I actually felt about her, but I couldn't correct her because she was right. I hadn't treated her with the respect she deserved that night. I didn't treat her like a child, but I also didn't treat her like the remarkable young woman she really was.

"Just because your body...well, that doesn't make you an adult." Dang, that's not what I was trying to say. I tried to start over again. "We're in two very different places. I've been out in the world. I've been on my own. I've killed, Rose –  _people_ , not animals..."

Spiridon's death was still hanging over me like a dark shadow. Even though he had been willing to kill me, taking his life was worse than I could have ever imagined. It was the first time I had killed someone with a soul...and I wasn't entirely sure if or when I would recover from that. I longed for the innocence she still could enjoy. I couldn't take that from her.

"...You're just starting out," I stated wistfully. One day her life would be full of death and guilt, but for now she could still enjoy the closest thing to normalcy we could ever hope for. "Your life is about homework, and dances, and clothes."

"That's all you think I care about?" She was upset, and I understood why. I made it sound much more belittling than I had meant it. Of course she wouldn't understand. How could she?

"No, of course not." I tried to reassure her. "Not entirely. But it's a part of your world. You're still growing up and figuring out who you are and what's important. You need to keep doing that."

I saw the next few months of her life flash before me. I could see her laughing with friends. I could see her enjoying the challenge of her combat classes without the risk of death. I could even see her dating someone and succumbing to the joys of a first love. Perhaps even with Mason. I knew he was a good guy and had feelings for her. I knew he would treat her with the respect she deserved. Even though I wasn't allowed to care for her, there was a small bittersweet comfort in knowing that she would still be cared for. As hard as it was, I admitted that to her; "You need to be with guys your own age."

She didn't say anything for a long time. She just stared at me. She looked just as lost as I was in all this. I felt horrible for putting her in this position and I hated the thought of abandoning her to deal with the aftermath on her own. I still felt responsible, and part of me still wanted her to report me so I could atone for my actions, but there was another part of me that wanted to still be there for her when she needed me.

Finally, I broke the steady silence. "Even if you choose not to tell, you need to understand that  _it was a mistake._  It isn't ever going to happen again."

She looked hurt, but I could already see her grasping for an explanation she could argue away with her twisted logic that always made the ridiculous seem reasonable. "Because you're too old for me? Because it isn't responsible?"

I knew I couldn't leave a shred of hope between us and chose my next words carefully. For a moment, I was grateful that she didn't understand how the charm worked between us. It allowed me to lie to her. I did everything I could to remove any trace of emotion from my face, knowing that I would be lost if my inner feelings betrayed me.

"No. Because I'm just not interested in you in that way."

She looked as if I had slapped her. I almost broke when I recognized her expression. It was the same one my mother had worn when my father beat her. Even through the pain and hurt, I could see her devotion to me. There was a pleading shadow in her eye that kept asking me the same question: why? It killed me to know that I had the power to hurt her like this, but perhaps I was more like my father than I cared to admit because I continued, "It only happened because of the spell. Do you understand?"

I could see it; the humiliation, the heartbreak, and the self doubt that followed. I had seen it all before in my mother. I was supposed to take care of her. Instead, I had broken her. And just like my mother always had, she hardened herself and braced for the next round of punishment. Punishment that came from me. She met my eyes, just barely holding back her own emotions, and spoke with a thin veil of confidence to hide her wounds. "Yeah. Understood."

As she walked away from me and out the door, I was certain that things between us would never be the same. Sure, from the outside things would seem fairly normal. I doubted that she would actually report me, and I would continue to train her like I had promised. I owed her that much. Still, I knew that I would never see her look at me like she had that night. It was the same look that I had momentarily seen at other times. I didn't dare give it a name, but I knew the way it made me feel and I knew that I would miss it. I may not receive the punishment I deserved under the law, but seeing her everyday and knowing that we could never be the same would be punishment enough.

It just so happened that I was scheduled to guard the female dhampir dorms for the night. I spent the first part of my shift roaming the more populated areas of the building, but an hour or so after curfew, my feet led me past a door I only knew too well. I was tempted to walk by. I knew I should. I needed to distance myself from Rose for both of our sakes.

But I couldn't. Not when I heard the soft noises coming from inside. I pressed my ear against door and the muffled tears became clear. It wasn't the first time I had heard her crying behind the privacy of closed doors, but it was the first time I knew her tears were shed because of me. I had no right to comfort her when I was the one that had hurt her in the first place. That didn't mean I would abandon her though.

I sank to the floor, leaning against the wall next to her door and just sat there until my shift ended. I sat with her until she fell asleep. I sat there thinking about everything I really wanted to tell her. I sat there imagining what our lives could have been like if we had drawn different cards: if I had never come to the academy, if she was just a few years older, if we weren't sworn to protect at the cost of our own lives. It was a useless game. All the wishing in the world wouldn't change things. Accepting reality was hard, but I hoped that one day it would get easier.

All the while, she never knew that I was there for her, just a few feet away. Even though our relationship had to change, one thing I knew for certain: I would always be there for her.


	24. Monsters and Make Believe

The next morning, I moved slowly. I felt like I was dragging behind, ten minutes late to my own life. My back was still sore from my vigil outside of Rose's door the night before, but it was nothing compared to the weight that my heart and mind felt. Everything still seemed so uncertain, and I could feel a tension in the air that promised disaster. I was helpless to do anything but meet it headfirst.

I made my way to the gym. I hadn't officially restarted our practices, but I also hadn't specifically canceled them today either. I knew Rose had been keeping up with a portion of her training on her own, and I wouldn't be surprised to find her on the track or in the weight room.

Both were empty. I didn't hold it against her. I would officially resume our extra training sessions tomorrow. I didn't have time to do a full morning workout for myself, but I did do some running and stretching in hopes of loosening the tension in my back and mind.

* * *

I had just started making my way across the quad and towards the Guardian's Lounge. I had hoped to grab some breakfast before my morning shift when I heard the distress call over another guardian's radio. He was a short distance away, but I was able to make out a few key words before he took off towards the Academic building. I was about to follow him when the full impact of the distress call hit me.

"Body found...bitten...drained..."

I altered my course to the left and ran at full speed. My mind raced even faster.

This wasn't just a random attack. In the unlikely event that a Strigoi managed to cross the wards, they would have to make their way near the center of the campus to get to the Academic building. It was hardly the most logical place to feed, especially since it would have to pass several other opportunities to find a victim. This wasn't the work of a blood thirsty beast, this was the product of someone with a plan, no matter how insane. Perhaps it was just a hunch, I could be totally wrong, but I could only think of one person who was crazy enough to attempt something like this. While Natalie may seem quiet and weak, she was also desperate. Desperation adds an unpredictable element. If I was right, I knew exactly where she would be going next with her new found power.

I was nearing the detention center when I saw a body slumped on the ground near the entrance. A guardian, no doubt. I ran to see if he was alive, regretting that I had dropped my bag with my radio in my haste and couldn't call for back up. I was about twenty yards away when another figure strode carefully out of the building. He was tall, middle-aged, and pale. He was Moroi. It took me only a heartbeat to recognize the much healthier looking Prince Victor walking through the door like a free man. I shouted at him to stop, knowing that even with his new found health, I could easily overtake him if he tried to escape further.

Instead of surrendering though, he looked pleased to see me, as if it amused him.

"Ah, Belikov," he called back casually, as if meeting a friend for coffee. "I should have expected that you would be close by. Not all bonds are formed by magic."

His words seemed fitting for the madman he was. They made no sense, at least not to anyone but himself. I continued moving towards him, and he made no effort to retreat. Only about 5 yards away now, I quickly glanced down to my colleague on the ground and noticed the shallow but consistent rise and fall of his chest. He was unconscious, but alive.

I was now only a few steps away from Victor, ready to quickly detain him, when he spoke once more to me.

"Unfortunately, I fear you may be too late this time. Such a shame. Really." He looked wistfully back towards the detention center, and at that same moment, I heard a scream.

It was the scream that halted my steps. It was desperate. It was feminine. It was familiar.

_No._

In my moment of shock, Victor was already running towards the woods and his possible escape. I was faced with two options and less than a second to make my choice. I could either go after Victor, or I could find Rose. I knew what I should do...and I totally disregarded it.

I took half a moment to reach for the fallen guardian's radio before bursting through the doors and following the sounds of a ongoing battle.

"Victor has escaped his cell, heading towards the West boarder. Lost visual, backup needed."

The moment I stopped speaking, I spotted Natalie, now Strigoi, as she threw Rose violently against the wall. I tossed the radio aside and pulled my stake, taking in the scene. Rose seemed fairly weak huddled on the ground, stumbling in her struggle to get up. It was obvious that she had taken a few brutal hits to the head and was simply trying to stay conscious at that point. She was backed in to a corner, scared and with no options of escape or defense. Nothing but me.

She finally noticed my entrance with a flicker of her eyes. It was just enough to warn the fresh Strigoi of my arrival, but not enough time for her put up a fight. I easily blocked her first attack, and moved between her and Rose. It wasn't an ideal position, since it gave the Strigoi access to the exit, but keeping her away from Rose was my primary concern at the moment.

Thankfully, the new Strigoi was still in the throes of battle- and blood-lust due to her newly changed condition and was more interested in taking us down rather than seeking refuge. I used her mental state against her, allowing her one or two glancing blows to draw her near before I made my move. It was almost too easy for my stake to find it's home in her heart. She didn't even attempt to protect it.

As I pulled my weapon from her chest, she fell to the floor with a pain-filled cry. She may have been soulless, but for a moment, I felt like the monster. Just before she fell, I had seen the look of shock and fear on her face. I had seen the girl who I had sought help from just a few weeks ago. I saw the girl who desperately tried to please those around her. I saw the child who simply wanted her father's love and attention. In her final breath, she wasn't a blood thirsty killer, but a just a little girl. She was so young, younger than my little sister even, and now I had killed her. Her life, her promise of a future, was wasted.

My moment of mourning was interrupted by a sound behind me. Rose was now laying on the floor, losing her battle with consciousness. She was still breathing, but a quick check of her pulse told me that she was fading fast. As I slipped my arms under her body, I could see the steady flow of crimson liquid coming from a head wound. Not only did she have a concussion, but she was loosing blood fast. I had faced an immortal enemy just moments ago, but that was nothing compared to the terror that gripped me now.

Her eyelids fluttered as I picked her up, her lips pulling into a smile as she focused on my face. "Hey, Comrade." I had never been so happy to hear her ridiculous nickname for me, but even that couldn't lighten my panic. "You were right about Strigoi."

Despite her joking, her voice was soft and betrayed her current lack of strength. I doubt that I would have been able to hear it if she had been standing on her own two feet beside me rather than held in my arms as I ran for help. I had to keep her talking as much as I could. She needed to stay awake. If she fell asleep now, I wasn't sure she would ever wake up again. Her lashes started to droop.

"Rose. Roza. Open your eyes." My voice was strained, but it had absolutely nothing to do with me running. "Don't go to sleep on me," I begged. "Not yet."

"Was he right?"

I didn't understand what she was asking or why, but at least she was still talking. "Who?"

"Victor..."

I looked down at her, only to see her staring back at me as if she was studying me. Even in her current state, she understood me too well. I may have been doing a horrid job of hiding my worry at the moment, but she still picked up on the underlining reason behind it.

"He said it couldn't have worked. The necklace." Her voice was breaking, making her thoughts difficult to understand.

"What do you mean?"

"The spell," She clarified, using way more energy than she should need to do so. She was valiantly trying to stay with me, but I wasn't sure if it was fueled by her impending death or the desire to know the truth. "Victor said you had to want me...to care about me...for it to work."

A string of curse words ran through my mind, and I was unaware if they made it past my lips or not. He had told her. She knew that the emotions stirred that night weren't fabricated by the charmed necklace, but simply our own released unhindered. She knew I cared about her. Even worse, she knew that I had lied to her about it.

At least that is what I thought, until I felt her hand brush my shirt. Her fingers faltered, to weak to even grip the fabric. I forced myself to look at her again. Her eyes were filled with vulnerability; not because she was holding on to the last thread of life, but because she was holding on to the last thread of hope.

"Did you?" she asked, nearly breathless as she tried to speak. "Did you want me?"

We were close to the clinic now, but I still wasn't sure if she would make it. She was so weak by now. I could feel here slipping away from me. I couldn't lie to her now, not when she was so close to death.

"Yes, Roza. I did want you." My voice was thick with guilt. "I still do. I wish...I wish we could be together."

She murmured something as I pushed through the doors of the clinic, my shouts for help drowning out her words. As the sounds of hurried footsteps and voices rushed towards us, she spoke again.

"Why did you lie?"

I couldn't bear the look of heartbreak on her face, so I pulled her closer to me, pressing her against my chest as I held her. "Because we can't be together." The quiet admission felt physically painful to say aloud.

She tried to speak again, but her words were too weak. Most were lost in her struggled breathing. I could only make out two: Age. Mentor. It was enough to piece together her thoughts.

I wiped away one of the tears that had fallen down her cheek. "That's part of it. But also...well, you and I will both be Lissa's guardians someday." I said it more as a wish than a fact. There was no guarantee that she would survive the day, much less graduation. "I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of Strigoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her."

Her eyes began to flutter, slowly closing as she began to succumb to her injuries. "I know that. Of course..." Her words drifted away as she finally slipped into unconsciousness.

I could see the medical team now. They would take her from me in just a moment. Unsure if I would ever get this chance again, I embraced her once last time, and whispered my final truth into her ear.

"If I let myself love you, I wont throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you."

I wasn't sure if she heard me – she was already limp in my arms – but I hoped that saying it would be enough.

However, the moment they took her from me and wheeled her away for treatment, I felt the pang of regret. I was left alone in the hallway, uncertain if she would live or die, when I realized that there was one last truth I should have told her. Unfortunately, I had realized it too late.

It was no longer a matter of if I allowed myself to fall in love with her or not, because I already was.

I was already hopelessly in love with Rose. My Roza.

* * *

I waited near the reception area until my body couldn't stand the stillness any longer. Nobody had told me anything yet. I debated finding someone and demanding answers, but I knew that it wouldn't help her. However, I couldn't wait here any longer either. I felt like the walls were closing in around me.

I decided to take a short walk to catch my breath and clear my mind. Decision made, I stepped out the doors, only to run into Alberta. Her questions cut off my apology.

"Where is she? Is she alright? What happened? How did you find her?"

I placed my hands on her shoulder to steady her before answering. "I don't know why she was at the detention center or how she even got in, but I found her when I realized Natalie had turned and would try to free her father. Rose had already taken quite a few strikes before I dispatched Natalie. I rushed her here as quick as I could but..." words failed me and I couldn't finish the thought.

Alberta looked at me knowingly and nodded. "I'll go check up on her and try to get an update on her condition. You should get some fresh air. I'll call you as soon as I hear any news."

As we parted, I remembered something. "Did they catch Victor?"

She turned to me again. "Yes. They found him before he crossed the wards. Court guardians should be here before the end of the day take him and the others away."

I gave a weak smile in reply, grateful for the small victory amidst so much tragedy. Then I walked aimlessly around the grounds until my phone rang. Alberta let me know that Rose was awake. I rushed over as soon as I could, only to find that we weren't alone.

Several others, including Mason, Christian, and Vasilisa, surrounded her bed. She looked tired, but spoke animatedly. I didn't hear what they were talking about, because in that moment, her eyes met mine and our own conversation passed wordlessly between us.

She looked at me with gratitude, regret, and understanding. I was momentarily confused until her eyes flickered quickly towards Lissa before returning to my own. Then everything was clear. She had heard my last words to her about putting Lissa first. She agreed with me. It didn't matter what we felt, we couldn't give in to it.  _They come first_.

I nodded, as did she, and we sealed our agreement in silence. I left the room without ever saying a word to her.

* * *

A two weeks later, I received my seventh molnija mark. Each one was painful, but not because of the tattoo needle. Every mark had a story behind it. Each story ended with a death. I had killed monsters. I had killed strangers. I had killed friends. Now, I had killed a child.

It hardly mattered to me that she was technically undead, it still felt abominable. She was too young to have her life end so abruptly.

I tried to take what little comfort I could in the fact that I had only killed to save another. If I could go back, I would kill again to save Roza. While it made the pain bearable, I still felt heavy with the weight of it. I touched the bandage at the back of my neck, as if that would somehow lighten my load. It didn't. The only thing that made me feel anything close to normal these days was seeing Rose.

We had started our practices again last week at her insistence. I wanted to wait a little longer for her to recover, but she argued that she had wasted enough time healing and needed to start training again. Despite our agreement, or perhaps because of it, I could feel the unwanted shift in our relationship. There was a new awkwardness between us, stemming from our mutual unspoken knowledge. It was hard knowing that she cared for me. It was even harder knowing that she understood my feelings as well. It was the hardest of all to know that neither of us could – or would – do anything about it.

Instead, we pretended.

We pretended that everything was normal between us. We pretended to be a student and a mentor. We pretended to not feel the familiar spark every time my skin brushed against hers. I pretended to to feel my heart skip every time I saw her. She pretended not to smile every time she saw me. I pretended to not notice the way Mason pursued her. She pretended to not notice the way I reacted every time he approached. We pretended not to speak a little more personally than we should. We pretended not to let our seemingly innocent touches during practice linger. We pretended not look at the other a little too longingly. We pretended not to hope for something that was impossible.

We pretended that everything was alright. Perhaps if we pretended long enough, it eventually would be.

Despite all our pretending, there was one thing I refused to pretend any longer.

I refused to pretend that I wasn't in love with my Roza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it folks! Vampire Academy: Dimitri's Point of View is DONE!
> 
> Please check out my other stories, including the other Vampire Academy books from Dimitri's point of view. I do plan on writing all of them.
> 
> If you've enjoyed this story, please take a moment to leave a comment and let me know. Your thoughts mean so much to me. Also, please take a moment to subscribe to me as an author to be updated when I post new stories.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy


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